Supporter Hi, New Here...

[Anja]

I actually found this site a few months ago when my bf started isolating me due to his PTSD- I needed to get some kind of insight to what he is going through. Then, things were great an back to normal until the last couple of months.

Browsing through different threads I see a similarity in how PSTD sufferers shut out the ones they love, become very insensitive/ numb to anyone's feelings.

He has told me "he loves me like his lady, his queen but can't deal with an us right now... Will I pls give him time, if not he understands" I said ok. That was 2x weeks ago, I've heard nothing since. Now my mind is going into overdrive trying to analyse what he exactly means? He won't respond to any kind of communication (phone calls, texts, emails).

Do I still drop him an email once a day so he knows I still care? Or just plain an simple wait til he contacts me?

I'm tired of always feeling alone an rejected, yet I know it's not about me. It's about him healing an becoming the best he can be in his own mind.

I will always love him and I know he will always love me, an with that said I won't let go until he tells me too.

 

[Marie E.]

Welcome to the forum, I am at a loss for words right now but there is a wonderful supporter section here to help you on your way! :hug:

 

[intothelight]

Welcome!

There is a lot of information in the supporter section and pulling away and isolating is pretty common for someone with PTSD. However, you also are important and do what you can for yourself and keep your own mental healthy safe.

 

[glass half full]

I actually found this site a few months ago when my bf started isolating me due to his PTSD- I needed to get some kind of...

Hi Anja. Welcome. You've come to a good place. You will find a lot of information and a lot of support.

To get right to your question about what to do- there are a couple of schools of thought on this. The primary view on this is- leave him alone, contacting him while he is isolating will be counterproductive and likely push him further away from you.
I do not question the wisdom of this recommendation. Its not what I have done though.
I know that my isolating vet has abandonment issues and my gut said find a middle ground. You know your specific circumstances better than anyone else, although the isolation process leaves you wondering whether you really do. You have go with your gut- while at the same time making an honest assessment of whether your desire to communicate with him meets a need you have to prompt him to reconnect with you, or it really is to reassure him that you are still here for him.


Here's what I've done: I've sent him infrequent emails with content that asked nothing of him and didn't suggest a reply was expected. Examples- a pic of flowers in my yard, an email telling him it was a beautiful evening and I wished he was here with me so we could put a couple of steaks on the grill and open a bottle of wine.

He has not responded to these, but I didn't expect him to. He's isolated for seven weeks now. He did send an email three weeks ago telling me he's ok thank you. But that's it. And yes, that's been hard on me.

Its my hope that yours will not isolate as long- mine works overseas and his employment contract ends in a few weeks. This is someone who has not yet been able to really come home to stay.

It is my sincere hope that your man does isolate as long or as completely. Whatever your journey entails you will find support and information here.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Welcome, Anja. While trying to explain my isolation to someone, I ran across this site, which helped me to understand what I've been going through, and why I am. It might clarify some things for you, as well.
Dead Link Removed

Good luck to you in your journey as a supporter!

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome! :)

 

[ToughCookie]

Welcome! :)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums :hug: I hope this place helps you. It's very useful because of the bulk amount of people who feel similar and understand. There is a lot of advice and support to be found here :) I hope that this amazing community helps you as much as it helped me, reading all the similar stories, and learning a lot along the way. Hugs if you accept :hug:

 

[Anja7]

Thanks everyone for your warm welcomes an support :)

I had a small break through where Mr Man was starting to respond back to emails with a few words/ sentence. That lasted for 4x days, now silence again... I'm trying not to get upset over it.

Each day Is a new day an all.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Anja7

Try to keep friends close, and not isolate yourself