Sufferer Hi, Ptsd From Abuse

[angel tears]

Hi
I was abused physically and emotionally for my whole childhood. I was also raped as a teenager and again as an adult by my ex husband. He also hurt me a lot physically, emotionally, psychologically and fianancially. This bloke was a gambler, drinker and I found out had multiple affairs and a baby behind my back. He hurt my friend with learning disabilities, he sexually abused me nightly and he beat me up really bad. I got away from him and fell in love with my current partner who is a real nice man. He even got in our house and strangled us both!!. I had him sent to prison and got a restraining order but my PTSD is really bad right now. I got away 15 months ago and the nightmares are every night. I actually feel him or my dad hitting me. The dreams are very graphic and disturbing. I am so upset and volatile right now. It's getting worse again. I had therapy before for 7 years as my PTSD is complicated but now it's worse again. I feel vulnerable and lonely. I have got severe depression and borderline personality which I see a psychiatrist for but I can't get anymore nhs treatment so I am going private. I am hoping to start emdr soon, I am meeting the therapist this week. I feel so distressed and frightened. I also had drug problems which has stopped but now I obsess over my weight!!!. It's all getting on top of me!!. I am snappy with my partner and i am sick to death of it all. It just won't stop :(

 

[Imanpeony]

Welcome to the forum dear! I am so sorry to hear about your life and difficulties. This is a good start to come here though. I was physically, verbally, and sexually abused until I was 15 years old and I was still verbally abused until ... well now... it kinda doesn't stop when you are with family. So I can understand a little bit about what you are going through. I know what you are dealing with is sad and difficult. But it is a "normal" reaction to what you were dealing with and have been through. I have nightly nightmares, as does my sister. I have vivid flashbacks. I lash out and feel lonely constantly. Pain is a lonely thing and anyone with PTSD has it. In any case this is a safe place to let it out. tell people about. You can even start a private conversation with someone who you feel is similar or gave some advice you like on the pages. Stop in and look through, but don't give up! You seem like a tough cookie. Best of luck and welcome

 

[angel tears]

Hi
Thanks for you reply and I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through, it's so sad to hear that it's your family, I really understand you there and thanks for identifying with me. It helps to know that I am not alone. The pain never leaves us, it's so hard when people hurt us who are supposed to love us!. It really breaks our trust!. I will keep fighting, you sound very strong too and your sister xxx

 

[intothelight]

Hi Angel Tears,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

It isn't uncommon for another trauma to trigger PTSD symptoms all over again and you are doing the right thing by starting therapy again. I hope the therapy and the information and support found here are be
beneficial to your healing. There is also a sister forum you may find helpful: MyDomesticViolence.com.

Take care.

Debbie