"hold Still!"

[anonymous]

That is what the voice in my nightmare said, "Hold still." and I said "OK, I will." I was either being molested or raped, both of which have happened to me in real life, and I was excited sexually, so I was willing. However, upon waking (which I did in the middle of it all) I was horrified that I was willing to hold still and that I wanted the thing to go on and culminate in orgasm.

I was a molested and abused young child and in my later years, like mid 40s, I was raped by a boyfriend. So this nightmare upset me and caused me to get up and eat a snack, which is not good for my health, as I can gain weight rather quickly, being on a medicine that causes weight gain.

I hate it when nightmares like this interrupt my sleep and, of course, it took hours for me to get back to sleep. Or what seemed like hours anyway. I did not watch the clock.

 

[Fadeaway]

Nightmares suck. I feel for you. If a small snack helps, don't feel bad. Healthy choices are best. A piece of fruit or some veggies are not going to harm you. Even junk food isn't a big deal if it isn't something you do everything night. Hang in there. Wishing you better sleep tonight.

 

[The Albatross]

"Hold still" is encouraging... under the circumstances having been sexualized as a child it is not partially surprising that you would want to carry it through to orgasm. It can be horrifying, yeah to understand that a dream/nightmare can evoke such hardwiring... however, it brought this to your waking consciousness so is not without merit.

My own nocturnal dream/nightmare activity trends to show me where progress is/can be made? Just a thought.

 

[Powder]

Please don't take this into black/white thinking. You didn't ask for this or want this. That is a lie that the perpetrator told you, and kids take their body's response as "agreement" when you, emotionally/personally/mentally were "horrified" by it all, which is exactly why you have PTSD from this trauma set.

If you agreed, and you were "bad" then you would not have been traumatized by it. So, obviously, on at least one level, you did not agree, which is why it is rape.

You didn't do anything wrong. Your body was just reacting to a stimulus without your consent.

Women have to deal with this kind of thing, where the body does it's own biology thing without our desiring it all the time. Think how many women's bodies have a period when they don't want that, or get pregnant when they seriously don't want that in their life. Abortion is legal because society recognized that women are often the victim of their bodies hijacking their will to derail their entire life. Women are, due to biology, often in a complex situation in which they are taking a back seat to their biology.

Men and boys have unintended erections, lack of erections, and premature ejaculations as well that can be upsetting, life altering, and maybe even emotionally traumatic to them, too.

It is inherently upsetting when the body does something unbidden. I encourage you to process this dream one step and day at a time, and don't stop talking about it until you put it to rest and re-write the narrative into one where you accept your trauma and are empowered by your ability to handle and process the emotions and feelings now as an adult.