Homelessness And Ptsd

[shimmerz]

Thanks so much @sun seeker . I will certainly look that up!

@richter scale , agreed that the state of the birth mother is very important (more important than most people know). I have known both birth parents from the of 19 (I am 53 now). It is a long story ;-). No health problems unless you count attitude. I was a mistake and they both wanted me dead. I fear I picked up a bit on that in the 4 or 5 times I was with them prior to my adoption.

They were, in fact, successful in this way with my twin. She did not survive out of utero.

 

[sun seeker]

@richter scale and @shimmerz, what both of you are saying about the health of your birth mothers leads me back to the book I keep recommending like a broken record: Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller. (I'm not getting a commission on this, I promise. It's just a really good book.) Trauma doesn't have to be about overt or intentional neglect or abuse. It can include anything that gets in the way of secure bonding with the birth mother, which is absolutely crucial for normal development. I was so impressed by this book, I keep urging people to read it because it not only explains in detail exactly what happens at each developmental stage and what the symptoms are later in life if they are interrupted, but proposes a therapeutic model that sounds like it could really work to rewire the nervous system for security, health, and connection after the damage is done.

I feel so sad about what you are describing happened to you. I escaped those things, but my own symptoms of developmental trauma began with a mother who had an IUD when she got pregnant with me and didn't even notice she was pregnant until halfway through, then spent the rest of the pregnancy terrified that I would be deformed. Other more overt things happened later but I'm convinced that is where my very basic feeling of not wanting to be here comes from. But there is hope.

 

[shimmerz]

Damn I love chatting with like-minded people. I can't talk to anyone about my thoughts on this because they look at me like I am deformed, have purple skin, 5 ears and no brain. I won't go into details for reasons stated in last sentence. What I do know is that I cannot unlearn what I have learned about awareness in the womb. Thank you for bringing this up @sun seeker . I will absolutely get at the book that you are recommending. I have no idea how I missed it as I have a whole collection of trauma books!

 

[Anarchy]

There's a whole load of studies on animals, both with the mother and the father which show that stress responses can be passed on to the next generation from either parent, there are also studies of humans, particularly in the case of the Dutch Hunger Winter, where people who were in the third trimester of gestation have been followed to the present day, and their offspring too.

Hugs all around for healing in this life and this generation.

@sun seeker, thanks for the book recommendation.

 

[shimmerz]

OMG - @Anarchy! Don't think I didn't notice that hug you slid in there! I love what you have done with the hug too! Passing it around? Soooooo proud! Sorry for hijacking the thread but this was really important! :hug::hug: