Hope I'll be the last diary I'll ever write

[Givrali]

Various hypothesis were bring on and the last in date is revenge procrastination. In short, life doesn't allow you to make your own choices so when it's finally over (bed time) you decide to stay in this free time the longest possible.
If it's that I hope I'll have more of myself during day time so this bad coping will dimish with time

 

[Givrali]

In my case I also enjoy the silence that comes with everyone else sleeping

 

[Givrali]

It makes me feel safer

 

[Givrali]

If they're sleeping they can't hurt me

 

[Givrali]

Not enough to feel safe because trauma is always awake

 

[Givrali]

It never sleeps

 

[Givrali]

Read a bit of my me list. Ok that's me. But isn't she exagering things ? Like oh poor thing trouble sleeping? Well if you actually tried to sleep it would be easier to sleep you know ? It wasn't nightmare that private you to rest but not wanting to sleep. You said that your sleeping was from bad to worse but you didn't mentioned you were enjoying reading instead sleeping.
You never try you little piece of shit! You were resisting to sleep then complain you didn't slept enough ?
I f*ckING hate you.
Just right now you're looking for excuses to not sleep
You're stupid useless and self destroying
You should kill yourself not to end your pain but give a relief to people around you

They don't like you. Just feeling lonely. Yeah you should have died. You killed your family. You shouldn't be existing in the first place you stole your bigger sister life. You're a shitty excuse for a living being.

 

[Givrali]

Read a bit of my me list. Ok that's me. But isn't she exagering things ? Like oh poor thing trouble sleeping? Well if you actually tried to sleep it would be easier to sleep you know ? It wasn't nightmare that private you to rest but not wanting to sleep. You said that your sleeping was from bad to worse but you didn't mentioned you were enjoying reading instead sleeping.
You never try you little piece of shit! You were resisting to sleep then complain you didn't slept enough ?
I f*ckING hate you.
Just right now you're looking for excuses to not sleep
You're stupid useless and self destroying
You should kill yourself not to end your pain but give a relief to people around you

They don't like you. Just feeling lonely. Yeah you should have died. You killed your family. You shouldn't be existing in the first place you stole your bigger sister life. You're a shitty excuse for a living being.

This is what I'm feeling about myself

 

[Givrali]

Will he to repair what I write last tomorrow. Also have to delete link to the story I'm reading. I disappointed because a mid twenty still didn't rape a fifteen years old.
Why do I want to read that awful things so badly

For now just sleeping is all I need to think about

 

[Givrali]

We will win

Said an animated version of les misérables

 

[Givrali]

so 5 days left, tomorrow I'll see P. and I already starting to stress about it, I have ine thing to do today in addition of occupationnal work, hope temperature won't be too hot

 

[Givrali]

Temperature is low and it's raining