Hope I'll be the last diary I'll ever write

[Givrali]

Right ?????

 

[Givrali]

I can't remember. I can't forget

 

[Givrali]

I forgot to write in my diary yesterday?

 

[Givrali]

Anyway

 

[Givrali]

So I'm reading one of my ancient text and the main character has ptsd. Back when I wrote it I wasn't having a diagnosis yet. I made his ptsd very spectacular and feel bad about it because I don't find his ptsd representative of what's really ptsd.

In short his symptoms are very visible and can force himself into his worst memories by in exemple going underground although this kind of places are major trigger for him. Once he's inside he mostly lost contact with present time but was able after some time and a comforting presence and positive reminders of things he was deprived at time to fight back and manage reading and looking for information he needs.

In short I'm not happy how I portrayed ptsd thought my character.

Well I'm so in denial of my own illness to just copy paste

Since it a thing I want to publish at some point I have to be satisfied with my work

 

[Givrali]

Ptsd representation isn't the only thing that bothers me with my text so I should just keep reading until I reach the end for the moment

 

[Givrali]

Finished reading main text but there are parts that aren't placed in the story yet and I have no motivation to take care of it now

 

[Givrali]

So I of course decided to write another text unrelated to this one because I can't finish my text to save my life

 

[Givrali]

Well I said I never did anything. It's true if consent has to be present but if it doesn't I... well that still wasn't this intimate. It was just being touched

 

[Givrali]

I hate thinking about what happened when I can make a link with me in present

 

[Givrali]

Ok I'm a 29 yo virgin but to stop being a virgin I have to actually have sex I have to start somewhere if I want to have experience and years keep coming

 

[Givrali]

My life really sucks