Sufferer Hopeless Needing Hope....

[AnnaC]

October 11, 2007 at 7:00 pm I was sitting on my sofa waiting for my husband to get home from work, my 14 yr old son taking a shower & 7 yr old son in his room when a man kicked in my back door & attacked me. He tried to rape & strangle me only to be interrupted by my older son who heard me screaming for my life. If my son would not have been there I would be dead. The monster was apprehended & is serving 30 years in prison for aggravated attempted rape.
Although I am extremely grateful that I lived, I have suffered terribly with PTSD & my physical health has plummeted so bad that I cannot work & am on disability. Heart attack, fibromyalgia & anxiety have disabled me so that I can barely function at times. I have tried to get help & am on many medications but I believe (& my dr's have told me) that my husbands emotional & verbal abuse has impeded any progress in recovery.
Ironically since I was attacked I have become totally dependent on him. I do have family that is supportive, but there is only so much they can do or understand.
I can't afford to support my children (I have a 4 yr old daughter now also) on my own so I am stuck in a terrible marriage that is not good for me or my beautiful children.
I truly feel so alone & hopeless most of the time! Even with therapy & medication (lots), I still barely function. I just want to be so much better for my kids & family.
Anyway that is a small portion of my reality....I am looking for understanding & support & would like to offer wtvr support & understanding I can give also. Thank you for listening (reading)!

 

[intothelight]

@AnnaC Welcome to the forum! :)

Sometimes when taking in the whole picture, things can appear overwhelming and hopeless. However, sometimes it is best to narrow the view and focus on one thing at a time. This is my personal belief, but I believe that a person's physical health has a direct impact on their mental health and vice versa. Focus on taking control and spearheading the improvement in your own health. You can include your children by teaching them about nutrition and having them help prepare meals, going on walks (light and moderate exercise can do wonders for sleep, pain and overall sense of well being.) Introduce them to yoga or whatever other things you find helpful. It can be fun and it also lays a foundation for them to have an overall healthier lifestyle.

Being financially dependent does not mean you have to be emotionally dependent. Surround yourself with the people that support and encourage you. Spend time with family and friends and it doesn't have to be anything expensive, even a sack lunch in a park and just time to talk. If possible, allow yourself some "self-care", pampering. I find that I love fresh cut flowers and no add them regularly to my home. A soaking bath, music that you enjoy, a candle that has your favorite scent. Learn to find the joy in the little things and the moment (mindfulness) and you will find yourself becoming stronger.

It isn't a strait path to recovery and there are many step forward, and back and a obstacles along the way. Personally, I had to change may viewpoint and not look at set backs as failures but as a chance to learn something about myself and what worked and didn't. This site is a great place for information and for the support of people that really do understand the struggle. I hope you find it beneficial to your healing.

 

[AnnaC]

Thank you intothelight for taking the time to read & respond! I really appreciate your thoughtful & kind words! It really does all seem so overwhelming I will try hard to focus better & I think this support group will really help me because I am not able to attend weekly meetings & such. My life is day to day sometimes hour to hour.

 

[Zadie]

HI Anna,

I wish you well in your recovery. You are not alone.

Zadie

 

[AnnaC]

Thank you zadie!

 

[Intrepid]

Welcome to the forum! Sounds like you are in the right place. Healing after trauma can be a long process, but it's worth it. I have known several people who make that process hard. You can heal despite them. Hope you can find some distance so that you can take care of yourself.

 

[AnnaC]

Thank you intrepid for the encouragement!

 

[Ghostybear73]

Welcome to the forum, I hope you find the support you deserve here!!!

 

[AnnaC]

Thank you ghostybear73!

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the forum! One of the most useful things I've found to date, especially in managing helplessness, and that you'll see frequently mentioned is the StressCuo

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

 

[AnnaC]

Thank you fridayjones! The few days since I found this forum has given me so much already!!! So very thankful for it....