Hoping For Some Advice/suggestions For New T/intake Appointment

[DogMom731]

Hi All,

I've been dealing with quite a bit lately (who hasn't been, right?! *forgive my sarcasm, please*)...and, long story short; it's leading me to seek a trauma-focused therapist. Although I initiated this, my current/now former T agrees with me that I need to seek someone with more trauma-focused credentialing than she has.

So, this upcoming Tuesday I will be meeting with a female psychiatrist for my intake appointment. I've already mentioned during my initial phone call that women in authority-type positions are triggering for me, so she's aware. After I have my initial appointment with her I can get setup for appointments with a male T. I did mention that a goal of mine is to work, progressively, toward being able to see a female T so that I can have some exposure and work through some of my trauma issues.

Here's where I need suggestions/advice. I've been going to therapy and psychiatry appointments since I was 9 years old. I'm now almost 25. I feel like, even though some of this is "old hat" or routine to me, that in all of my anxiety (because I've never had trauma focused therapy before) I'm having trouble preparing myself ahead of time. As in; what types of information should I be prepared to provide about my history? I know myself well - enough to know that if I DON'T prepare a physical, written list ahead of time, I will only miss information that could be crucial due to a combination of fragmented memory and/or dissociation, etc.

So, please, if you will, let me know what general types of information I should be prepared to provide to the Doc & T.

Thank you in advance!

 

[Ghostybear73]

When I started therapy, I wasn't able to talk about anything trauma related. I had walls built so high that it took over a year to just make a crack in it. You seem to know what it is you want out of therapy because you have been going for so long, just go with your instinct. Write down what you want out of this new therapist and where you want to be, mentally speaking and go from there.

I wish you all the luck with your new therapist!!

 

[DogMom731]

Thank you. That seems like a much simpler/easier approach that what I'd been conjuring up in my mind. I think I was going to try to detail every last trauma (some of which I've dissociated/lost all memory of anyway). It makes a lot more sense to just try to write where I want to be as opposed to where I am now.

Thank you for your insight and support! (still open to further suggestions from others, just to get a good variety of helpful ideas)

 

[katiekat]

I like what ghosty said :) it takes a lot of pressure off you, and it allows you to stop obsessing over the upcoming session. Detailing your past doesn't seem helpful quite yet.

 

[Justmehere]

I don't really have much advice, but I can tell you that the first appointment with my trauma therapist was chance for the therapist to get to know what I wanted to work on in more detail, not so much to know about the trauma history. All that I said about my trauma was that I had physical, sexual, and emotional abuse in childhood and also as an adult. I also said that the perpetrators included family members and strangers. That's all I said...


Most decent trauma therapists know that talking about trauma is activating and potentially destabilizing. My therapist wanted to know more about what was going well in my life now, and what I was having problems with. She wanted to know about symptoms and how I was coping in ways that were good, in ways that were not so good. She gave me lots of space to ask lots of questions like how does her practice work, how does she help people with trauma, what do I do if I end up in a crisis in between sessions, etc.

I think it is an excellent idea to write down the things that you want to talk about, and I think it's really great that you're going to give seeing a trauma therapist a try. I hope it goes well!

 

[DogMom731]

I just wanted to provide a brief update, especially for those of you who were supportive and/of offered advice (thank you again!);

The intake appointment went well today. The intake/outpatient therapy coordinator is a FEMALE therapist (for me, a HUGE trigger - as primary abuser = mom). Janice (intake person) made a huge effort (and I told her how much I appreciated it) to really listen AND hear me.

I have a therapy appointment set up with a trauma-focused MALE T, per Janice's recommendation. It's noted that I want to progress toward working with a female T, when ready. It's also been noted that I would like EMDR, also when ready for it. We discussed my dissociation, and Janice is referring me to see the psychiatrist at the practice (as opposed to my own, who the practice will continue to coordinate with) for an evaluation and possible re-diagnosis of PTSD and DID.

Anyway, more about the intake appointment -

The intake appointment, which was originally scheduled for 1 hour, went a few minutes past TWO hours. Janice had no appointments after mine and she kept checking to make sure I was ok with continuing. Essentially, my history of trauma, abuse, and neglect is so extensive that for the purpose of answering all the intake questions with detail (both detail she requested and that I was willing to provide) it took that long.

I feel that I could connect with her. At one point, something I mentioned was triggering and I started to "go away"/dissociate. She started explaining something (I don't remember what) and I politely interrupted, "excuse me, I'm sorry to cut you off but I just started to dissociate and as much as it's important for me to hear the information you are sharing with me, I have to apologize but it's taking all my energy to stay present in the here and now for the moment." Janice then commented, "yes, I saw you 'start to go' and it's ok." She praised my grounding techniques/coping skills and encouraged me to do what I needed to do (tactile stimulation and breathing techniques) throughout the next few moments.

Please forgive my caps lock in advance but, for me, that's a HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT and a FIRST! I have been working hard the last few weeks to recognize when I'm starting to go away and to try to stay "here" and bring myself back to the here and now.

I also never realized that other people (at least a trained person, in this case) can recognize when I'm "going away." I didn't know that *my* visual cues are THAT obvious. It's something about my eye contact/lack therefore. This much I know.

Anyway, I digress. I was trying to give a brief overview of how it went for me (obviously quite well) but I can hardly contain my excitement and personal sense of pride (gee, that's a fairly new feeling) and I TRULY feel that a lot of the individuals on this forum can understand/empathize with where I'm coming from and how I'm feeling.

Not to sound cliché, but thank you for letting me share/allowing me the space to do so! Much appreciated, and here's hoping that I not only continue to make improvements and progress, but that everyone on this site can achieve their own sense of progress and pride as well.

**I should also mention; I'm not sure if I was supposed to open a new thread for this update or not. If I am supposed to do this, but somehow overlooked it in forum rules/guidelines then I apologize in advance and would appreciate guidance from a moderator as well as the post being moved as appropriate**

Trying to stay level-headed/grounded as I live on "cloud 9" temporarily,
Crystal/DogMom

 

[BloomInWinter]

No new thread needed. It's wonderful to read your post. Good for you. Well done!

 

[katiekat]

Isn't it interesting to see how worried you were to speak to a female therapist but somehow managed to have such an amazing session? That seems like a good start!

 

[DogMom731]

Isn't it interesting to see how worried you were to speak to a female therapist but somehow managed to have such an amazing session? That seems like a good start!

Yes, it really is interesting! I think it was particularly helpful that I disclosed, ahead of time, that other women make me nervous/intrinsically anxious. It "cleared the air" so to speak. Additionally, because I was triggered and started to "go away" within the session; I was provided with some things to reflect upon. Seeing as I was able to STOP myself from going away (and because the T was able to also recognize the exact moment I started to go away) I now have identified a very specific trigger (other than just the fact that she was a female).

I have a "traumas & triggers" identification journal (just a basic Word document really) that I keep as a way to work on my therapy plan goals. Due to identifying this trigger I can now expand on it in my journal and, of course, share it with my new trauma T.

So yes, agreed; VERY good start (especially compared to past experiences!)

Thank you for reading my post and responding - much appreciated!

 

[katiekat]

I too, was thinking that your extra thought and preparing for talking with a female T could have helped you ease your anxiety a bit to make it less threatening. It's sort of like studying for a big test: if you don't study, you will for sure have anxiety about not passing, but if you study a lot, you know what to expect on the test and the answers will come easy and your anxiety goes way down. Good for you... I hope for the best for you!