Horizontal Workplace Violence And Bullying

[Kris1984]

Hi Everyone,

While chatting on the PTSD and Nursing thread something came to mind, horizontal violence and bullying in the workplace. In nursing it is a HUGE problem and even has a saying to go with it "Nurses eating their young". I of course dealt with some degree of friendly hazing practices while in the military that did not bother me, however I have been triggered by a classmate and I worry about how I will react in the workplace to these women.

Does anyone have any tips or stories to share on this topic? All feedback is greatly appreciated!

 

[Leonard Nolt]

Thanks for your information and question. I was the target of a workplace bully at a medical center where I worked for 30 years and forced to leave because I was becoming disabled by the bullying. I was bullied there for the last 2 years and 8 months I worked there. I was diagnosed, by my employer, with PTSD as an on the job injury, but my employer never offered me any protection from additional injury or any treatment for the PTSD. I was a respiratory therapist there. That occured between the beginning of 2004 and the end of 2006. To this day there has been no accountability from the employer who brags about their institution being the "center of advanced healing."

 

[Kris1984]

I am really sorry for your experience! That is terrible! I hear it is a big problem in health care and it is sad because it is supposed to be a therapeutic place. Disgruntled employees does nothing good for the milleu!

 

[PTSD sufferer]

A book that I found very useful was Tim Fields 'Bully in Sight'. He has also developed a website that is a great help in understanding the dynamics and profile of bullying in the workplace.

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/index.htm

Through knowledge, anything can be achieved.

 

[Kris1984]

Thank you for the website, I will check it out!

 

[Hashi]

I know this thread is from a little while ago, but I just read it and want to thank you, PTSD Sufferer, for giving details of Tim Field's website and book. The website is really good, the only thing it doesn't go into is what to do - obviously you have to buy the book for that, and I'm going to. My boss perfectly fits the website profile of a bully, and even though I know the issues are his and not mine, I constantly think I'm inadvertently fanning the flames and could reduce his aggression towards me by changing my behaviour. The website has helped me to see that's not true. It's also helped me see why raising a grievance is a waste of time in certain cases - I did, and it was.

It feels so good that it's official - he really is just an incompetent, insecure idiot!

I think I've dealt with him fairly well so far, but only through constantly managing his behaviour towards me. My external reactions towards him have been more successful than my internal reactions - he still really upsets me even though I don't let him "win". I can't wait to get the book and find more ways of dealing with him.

I know this thread is about peer to peer bullying and violence, but the site/book cover that as well.

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Hi Hashi,

You are very welcome dear. I also found it very helpful and I have read many many books on dealing with workplace violence. The core of my trauma relates to some serious workplace violence of some very disturbed individuals.

Although the grievance process is not as fruitful as we like, do send HR emails with your grievances and the union (if you have one) too. Make sure you keep a paper trail of your grievances so that you have a record. Paper trails are really important as if things escalate, you may need to refer to the complaints you made about his misconduct.

If your company has a Code of Ethics and Conduct, its will be well worth your while familiarising yourself with these policies. You can always go above your bosses head (try two bosses up rather than his direct boss) with your grievances, again keep a record of this for yourself...

Please keep your eye out for others who also might be suffering from your boss' misconduct. Often these types of bosses try to alienate their victims, so that they protect themselves from getting in trouble and their bullying can be more effective. As soon as they alienate their victims, those victims are in danger. A tight team with your co-workers will limit the harm to yourself and others in the team....so surround yourselves with each other as much as you can.

Unfortunately the only thing you can do to stop bullying (and psychopathology) is to leave. But if you have to work there, then make it as safe as possible for yourself and others by rallying together, and not letting anyone in the team be alienated. Safety in numbers!

Others saw the trauma I was enduring at work, and either didn't do anything to intervene or encouraged my boss to play the sick game. I will always begrudge them for that.

Love to you, PS

 

[lil_fighter]

wow this thread is interesting and is a real eye opener, workplace violence? how sick, it seems that the professions that are considered to be 'caring' e.g. nursing, the police force, teaching - are the worst for workplace bullying

 

[Hashi]

Hi Hashi,
A tight team with your co-workers will limit the harm to yourself and others in the team....so surround yourselves with each other as much as you can.

Unfortunately the only thing you can do to stop bullying (and psychopathology) is to leave. But if you have to work there, then make it as safe as possible for yourself and others by rallying together, and not letting anyone in the team be alienated. Safety in numbers!

I definitely agree with keeping records and informing HR and your union (in the UK you have a legal right to be in a union even if there isn't one affiliated to your workplace or sector - you can join a more general one like the GMB or PCS and they can advise you and accompany you at disciplinary or grievance meetings).

I'm in two minds when you say the only thing to do is leave. I think perhaps there are two cases when you don't have to- only in some work situations, though, never in abusive personal relationships where the only thing is always to leave.

One is if the intended target can just shrug off the behaviour. I've seen people do this in a previous situation - one would simply laugh then get on with his work and the other would hold up her hand and say, "I did that because of X. Now I need to get on with Y or it won't be done on time." I think that was their natural temperaments, but I've tried modelling it and it's amazing how much more effective it is than trying to reason with a bully boss. The most effective thing is to refuse to engage with any of the things they've said (or shouted) and instead ask neutrally, "What would you like me to do?"

The other is if the bully is the newest arrival. This is my current situation - we were already a competent team and worked well together, so it's not so easy for the new boss to intimidate someone when he kicks furniture, yells, accuses them of his mistakes, crticises them in front of others etc. It makes a horrible atmosphere and constantly disrupts our work, but I think it's only because I have PTSD/trauma issues that I'm so badly affected by it. Also, I've been the most targetted - I can see that I fit many of the characteristics Tim Field gives as typical of bullying targets. He's now starting to target someone else in a more subtle way and set them and the rest of us against each other. But because I'm aware of his tactics I'm countering them all the time. And even though the grievance I raised wasn't successful I think it sent him a warning signal. I refuse to let someone ruin our working lives because he can't do his job.

It's very true that sticking together is powerful and I'm so sorry that others saw what was happening in your situation and ignored or encouraged it. Workplace bullying can be very serious and can inflict a lot of trauma.

 

[Tessa]

I am a nurse and deeply traumatised by ongoing workplace bullying. My PTSD diagnosis was from a workplace assault however the effect of the constant bullying was far worse. I have just finished my autobiography which was about remote area nursing and also the bullying because I thought the story needs to be told. Sadly many are not game to stand up against the bully and support you.

 

[lil_fighter]

When I experienced workplace bullying at the school I was working in, I tried so hard to carry on because I loved working with the children (who were of course oblivious to the behaviour). I had started the job as a volunteer and had a great few months with a lovely teacher and her class, then I was offered a job there and it was only then that I started using the staff room.

Handing in my notice at the time felt like giving up and the head teacher knew about the bullying but he was cowardly, although he did have a word with them about it but they quickly went back to the same behaviour but even worse. I was so relieved to leave that place and I have never since worked in such a strange place which makes me realise how wrongly I was treated, by comparing it to other schools I've worked in. I wish I had been strong and dealt with it properly..but it was a case of being outnumbered.

Sadly many are not game to stand up against the bully and support you.

This is so true, Tessa. Im so glad you have written about your experiences in your autobiography and I hope you found peace in doing so

 

[PTSD sufferer]

In my situation, I regret not leaving sooner. Unfortunately I did not have any support networks, and needed to find another job before I resigned. I was quite naive as to what was going on and I have suffered for it now, if I had walked away, it may have been one less day-mare I have had to deal with.

Bullies can be psychopaths or socio-paths - who systematically destroy your confidence, hold you back from doing your job, steal your work, alienate you, use you as a scapegoat, engage in character defamation - basically do whatever it takes to make sure that you will never be able to leave them...so that they can continue to have a target...

It is all well and good to say to someone change what you are doing and fight back or dismiss it. I have never feared standing up for myself or my colleagues, I also don't hesitate to applying management techniques to 'difficult' personalities...but this does not work with workplace socio-paths and psychopaths.

The workplace trauma I suffered... I would not wish on anyone...

Most dismissed these situations as 'just bullying' or 'just politicking' or 'just the culture' of the company. But it can be more than that the victim on the receiving end. Do not assume that surviving bullying is as simple as managing difficult people - it isn't. Only you can be the judge of how much damage is being caused to you to stay in a particular situation.

If you are being harmed (physically or psychologically) walking away, is just as powerful as fighting back, and sometimes walking away is the smarter thing to do. Ignoring may signal that the bully can get away with it, so it may not stop it. Fighting back, may create a situation where you become more of a target. Hence, sometimes walking away is best.

Two more book recommendations:

'Working with Monsters' by John Clarke - which is about identifying workplace psychopaths. If you are being bullied, then it is worth gaining knowledge about when bulling is a sign of psychopathology.

'When you work for a bully: assessing your options and taking action' by Susan Futterman - which is about leaving a workplace bullying situation. It has practical examples and stories from victims, information on legal rights, and strategies that give you an idea of how to leave while protecting your dignity and finances.

Cheers, PS