General Hospital Stay

[georgie1668]

Hi everyone

Just got a call from my man to say that he is committing himself to hospital, as he is very depressed right now. A number of issues have brought up his fears and terrors associated with his PTSD and he is finding it difficult to handle.

Just wondered if anyone has had this with their loved ones - I am in a situation where we are in a casual relationship but I am deeply in love with this man and am not sure where to go with this - he may be in hospital for up to six weeks. I have told him I will leave it up to him if he wants a visit/phonecall - but I will probably send him a text to let him know I am thinking of him.

This worries me deeply and having worked in psychiatric hospitals, I know what it is like - thankfully he will be in a relatively nice place, but still....

I would appreciate anyone's feedback of any experience they may have had regarding the same issue and how they handled it.

Thanks once again for all your support = it is so invaluable and even to be able to write it down is liberating and helps me focus....

x Georgie

 

[cynelena]

While I have not experienced a situation like yours, my BF did have himself committed a few years ago (before I met him). He has briefly talked about it twice with me now and while it was hard for him to say anything about it to me, I sense that he feels it was needed and did him some good. If anything, I think his stay is part of what keeps him motivated to stick with his current treatment and therapy. He's currently taking meds for nightmares and a mood stabilizer as well as is going to group meetings and individual therapy. He is also going through a treatment called EMDR.

All I can suggest is that you come up with a plan and a back up plan for how you will communicate with him while he is away. Don't be discouraged when/if he doesn't seem to be responding to your efforts while gone. I would also suggest staying in close contact with everyone here on the forum. I have found such strength from both reading and posting here!

You are amongst friends here:-) Lean as much as you need to through this difficult time. I wish you and your BF the very best.

Cynthia

 

[ISupportHer]

Multiple admissions for my wife over last 3 years or less. 8 I think. It is very difficult yet somehow reassuring that they are safe while admitted.

Just an observation, visited at the 2 hospitals she's been admitted and at each they confiscated most personal items. He may not have access to his phone so don't take it as a snub if he does not respond to a text.

Wherever he is, there probably is phone access on some limited basis depending on his stated wishes. He may wish to be admitted confidentially and therefore the hospital could give no information, even to confirm he is there.

Don't know if there is anything else you would like to know. I'm sure there are others here with experiences of hospitalizations, voluntary or not. Since you say you've worked in a Psych. hospital, you probably have a handle of the routine.

 

[becvan]

My son spent two months in the hospital. It was a very difficult time. My suggestion is to go and visit. If he does not want you there, then you can leave after saying hi, but company is always nice and most people being hospitalized for mental health reasons rarely get company. It becomes the no one wants me stigma all on it's own. Bring him some creature comforts (magazines, books, coffee, whatever he likes) and let him know you care.

bec

 

[georgie1668]

Cynelena, thanks for your input.

"All I can suggest is that you come up with a plan and a back up plan for how you will communicate with him while he is away. Don't be discouraged when/if he doesn't seem to be responding to your efforts while gone."

I actually ended up seeing my man the other night as he has to wait for a hospital bed to become available. I was really happy to see him as I was able to take on board what you said and ask him what he would like during his stay. I am going to text him but won't be worried if he doesn't respond, as I understand that particularly the first few days are going to be very difficult. He will let me know when he is ready for a phonecall or visit. He knows that it is the best place for him to be right now and so do I, after much discussion with close friends and himself. I just worry about him, but it is out of my hands for the moment.

Thanks again - just hearing from someone else is comforting.

 

[georgie1668]

ISupport Her - thank you for replying - must have been so difficult for you to see your wife being admitted, but yes I agree that it is a safe secure place for people when they are experiencing overwhelming depression or other symptoms.

"Just an observation, visited at the 2 hospitals she's been admitted and at each they confiscated most personal items. He may not have access to his phone so don't take it as a snub if he does not respond to a text."

I didn't realise this about the phone, so good to hear from you on that. He will let me know when he is admitted hopefully

Take care.

 

[georgie1668]

Hi Becvan

I will definitely want to visit, but feel a little reluctant at the beginning, as God knows what trauma my man will be revisiting and he may not be up to seeing anyone initially.

i agree with you though that company is important at times like this.

Peace.

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

My daughter was hospitalized several years ago - and first let me tell you I know how difficult this can be and my heart goes out to you.

First, Remind yourself this is the best place for someone to be if they feel unsafe - I know its difficult but be glad that he had the ability to recognize that he did not feel safe and did something about it.

Yes, the phone situtation is difficult - where my daughter was - there was one phone for the entire floor and they had to share it. There was a 5 minute time limit (I believe) and they could not make or receive phone calls during sessions (only on their free time) - don't be upset if he doesn't call much. Part of the recovery is forming bonds with other patients during your free time (just like we do here) and it is difficult to get the phone.

Do visit him - if he feels uncomfortable - you can always make it short - but its important to let him know you are there for him.

OK - here's the part that is going to surprise you - when he gets out - it is a bit of a culture shock. My daughter took almost a week to readjust to just being home (without outside activities). Limit outside visitors (let him take the lead on that) and activities.

 

[ISupportHer]

Although I may have not said it, by all means visit if there is any openness to this by him.

Wife has been in 2 hopsitals. Both hade phone access. Limited by Pt schedules so as not to interfere with sessions, etc. Both places you called the number provided and were answered by staff who then transferred it to one phone based on availability, Pt schedule, etc.

Both places had readily accessable phone for Pt's outgoing calls. It's just that if they are there and depressed, they may not make calls. My experience anyway.

Items like cell phones are confiscated for safety, etc but Pt's. are not totally isolated usually.