Hi lilstar,
I'm sorry you are going through intense anxiety. I don't like having to go in to those sorts of examinations either.
I just recently got through my PAP this year and also had to get a mamogram and ultra-sound and I got through that too. I was lucky in that I think the health professionals already understand that these things are uncomfortable. My health records are also flagged that I am a person with PTSD, so they already have a heads-up. Most people are nervous about these types of examinations, so usually the staff has some training.
I got through it by having a coping statement that I said to myself through out, "I know this is really uncomfortable, but I am taking care of my health", and I kept saying that to myself. What might be helpful for you is to keep reminding yourself of the current date, "Today's date is______, and right now I am taking care of my health". Another coping statement, "this is uncomfortable now, but this will be finished in no time".
Also I notice they tend to have some pictures on the ceiling, which is another way to help ground. "I'm here right now, and I'm observing these details in this picture which is above me", e.g. "I notice these shapes, and these colours, etc. "that's there to comfort many people who have to go through this discomfort".
I at one time used to experience intense blood pressure fluctuations, "white coat" but that symptom has gone away as I've discovered from having more experiences in which I felt safe with medical professionals.
If you have a doctor that prescribes "Ativan" a mild sedative, that can also be a good time to take one-- I've done this too. I don't go totally out of it, but it helps settle my hyperarousal symptoms (which can flip over to too much dissociation-- I'm lucky though too that I can dissociate a bit and I use that to my advantage ;-) ). Anyway a mild sedative is not a bad idea when I know something is going to be difficult. Can also practice grounding in the waiting room, breathing techniques-- if you've learnt about those. I've changed my BP reactions by also practice breathing techniques to calm me before and after examinations.
Maybe you can work through a safety plan for yourself?
Is there anything you can bring with you to help you feel safer and more grounded?
Some people hang on to a "grounding object", like a small smooth comfort stone, that you can hold to remind yourself that you are here. You can feel your hands grip the stone, and notice it's texture, shape, coolness, etc.
I've debated before whether I need to bring in one of my 'stuffies', little soft miniature toy to hold. It gave me comfort knowing I can make these choices.
Can someone come in with you to the appointment?
Can you talk to your therapist about making a safety plan, that can work with you, even write it out?
Also with a plan for post appointment. E.g. I went to the coffee shop in the hospital and treated myself to a green-tea latte.
Maybe you have a friend that can be there, to have a tea with afterwards or something.
I got through it on my own, but if you are feeling really nervous about it, maybe a friend can come in with you and it's okay to reach out for help. If support is not available, you can still keep steady, work on a plan of what can help keep you grounded.
Just some ideas. . .?
