How and what to tell therapist about abuse

[Kimmily]

Hi all,

I am new to this site and am looking for some guidance, advice, or support from someone who has been there. I have been seeing my therapist for about six months. I started seeing her just as I was getting out of an abusive marriage. I really like and trust her, and she is very patient, supportive, kind, and knowledgeable. I find it very challenging to relax and open up in therapy, and I often check out, shut down, or dissociate when the content of our sessions touches on something painful for me. She has been really patient and supportive about letting me set the pace and decide what to share.

I would eventually like to get to a place where I am able to share with her about some earlier trauma as well, specifically physical and sexual abuse by a sibling. In addition to feeling really scared and ashamed, I just quite literally don't know what to say about it. Do I just give a one sentence summary - this is what happened? Do I describe it happening? What is expected? I feel really icky and uncomfortable talking about anything sexual, and I am also very worried about making my therapist feel uncomfortable by talking about sexual things. She is a very compassionate professional and I am sure that it is in my head and not on her; I'm just looking for guidance about what level of sharing is normal.

Thanks for reading.
Kim

 

[Rumors]

Hey Kim,
First wanted to say thanks for coming on and putting this out there. A lot of us suffer from the same issues and have the same questions. I don't have the answer except to say that it sounds as if your therapist is prepared for whatever you need to tell her. I struggle with many of the same issues in that I have a lot of detail I could add, or not, but it's mainly shame that keeps me from saying much. As well, the burden I feel like I am imposing is enormous. Maybe just have some open dialogue about this with her and you will find a happy medium that you both can live with. Best wishes! I hope you are able to figure this out and find some peace.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I ended up putting it all in writing as it came to me so I could share it as it all actually happened on paper vs. trying to continue to remember all the details and verbally presenting it while trying not to trip over my tongue and my emotions in the process. That gave her a chance to be fully informed to help me as best as she can...otherwise, I was expecting help for stuff I hadn't even shared. Unfortunately, I had to work my way through several therapists and psychiatrists who didn't seem to want to acknowledge many of the incidents shared with them for whatever reason, so that opened up a whole new box of worms to have to deal with.

 

[MyWillow]

I can definitely relate except I don’t have any memories of trauma. Dissociation and flashbacks and time loss in session without understanding why. I’ve been at this a year. Hopefully one day it will make more sense.

Take care xxx

 

[Sunny444]

I think it will eventually come up...
For me, my intention is not to reveal, not why i am seeking therapy. But there have been few occasions where the abuse was directly related to what i was discussing. T asked me a few questions, gave me space if i wanted to talk about it. I avoided it and moved on.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi Kim I'm sorry all that happened to you... I guess it's whatever feels comfortable for you.... But as you like your therapist.. Try... Write it down as suggested or draw a picture... And then open up...
It will be hard but it will be worth it.... These memories... Are ready to come out now.. And ready to be helped...
This forum is really good.. These people can help greatly... Listen., not judge, support and care...... It will get better but like everything hard painful work needs to be done first.... Take care..... Hugs....