How can I let go of “blame”? Is it bad to blame the abuser / abuser’s enablers?

[Lost in the Woods]

Ok, this will open a can of worms, I feel compassion towards my abuser (mother). She was in and out of mental institutions, getting shock treatments and was an alcoholic drug addict. She probably had the same genetic neurological condition I have and was just told it was all in her head and they treated her with happy pills. The neuro condition I have was not even named when she was alive. After numerous suicide attempts, some of which I witnessed, she finally was successful.

My feelings towards her have evolved to where they have been for the last decade, compassion. I have no idea what made her the way she was but the medical treatment was barbaric.

Now my dad is a different story. What could he have been thinking leaving kids with a known dangerous person? I really can’t fathom any excuse for ignoring the danger present. Maybe someday I will understand it better.

 

[Captain Barnacles]

Blaming people for things they've done is fine.

It seems odd to me that it would ever even be questioned.