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How are sufferers handling covid?

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PBJ0309

Stress on stress on stress even for people without PTSD! Can only imagine how it must be for everyone who already dealing with their own stuff. Sufferers, if you don't mind weighing in, would love to hear how you're coping!
 
Some days I don't know how to anwser that question. My son commited suicide on Jan 12 and then COVID hit.

I know the people here have helped keep me sane and I am heard here. I am grateful I have a lot of years of recovery behind me because my heart breaks for those just getting started and not having face to face sessions with thier T's.

I'm doing one day at a time. Interacting here. Giving myself permission to feel what I feel. Reach out on the days that it is really bad.

I'm surviving. I thought that word was behind me. I had been thriving. But I know I'm not alone and that keeps my head above water.

Thank you for asking about surivors. I hope many others here come on and share how hard this has been for everyone.
 
In some ways, it's been helpful:
I've not seen my parents in 9 months. This has been really helpful as they are part of my trauma and my relationship with them is challenging. So it's given me some space to reflect.
And it's given me space to move away from men in the street who I would usually just feel threatened by and feel I can't cross the road away from them. Covid gives me a wonderful reason to go as far away from them as possible and no one thinks I'm crazy. I think, if these men still stress me, I've now got the confidence to move myself away. So it's taught me that skill. (Obviously I still need to work on not being triggered by these men....)
And it's given me time away from rushing about. I'm just staying still. Which is both a blessing (time to think) and a problem (time to think)!.

But I don't think I know fully how it's all impacted me. Because I'm trying to keep some of it out of my thoughts. Particularly: what does the future hold?

But also in other ways, it's kind of a *knowing*, that stuff happens. Life isn't secure and cosy. Life throws crap at you in your face. This pandemic is just crap that is thrown in all our faces, so it's a shared thing in many ways, rather than the lonely traumas I've kept secret for decades.

(@ladee , sending love and healing)
 
Can only imagine how it must be for everyone who already dealing with their own stuff. Sufferers, if you don't mind weighing in, would love to hear how you're coping!

How has things been for you?

Dealing = has been somewhat tough at the beginning because I’m working in the medical field plus my mother being diagnosed with cancer. What helps are people that are supportive and caring, Yoga, Sport and putting hardcore borders on energy sucking events and people. This had to be learned through other people and therapy.
 
Honestly, not well. I had a hard transition to working at home from working in a school building, then once we finally got underway in this "no one knows when it's going to end" phase of things, I've been falling apart slowly. Summer was easier for me because even though I was working, it felt like organization and things I could "control," aspects of my job were on hold, and I could breathe because I only worked 4 days a week. It did NOT feel like a break when I had 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after the summer, too, and my colleagues who didn't work the summer said they felt like they had to constantly check their email, so we were all drained starting the summer.

I've put on a great face at work, but my mental life at home is like a house falling down around me. I feel like all the hard work I've fought for and put in for five long years has been slipping through my fingers. Like sand. I'm organized to the hilt at work because I fear being let go (an irrational fear, my job is badly needed), and I have the feeling that if I'm not available at all hours of my work day via email I'll be accused of not working (not true).

My mom is immunocompromised and I'm worried like crazy about her. I yo-yo between crying and feeling numb most days. When I'm numb, I bury myself in work to distract myself. I'm in full-blown survival mode.

I'm irritable, there's no sense of control, nowhere truly feels safe. I haven't been sleeping well, and I'm often forgetting that I need to take deep breaths or just even breathe normally. My husband has definitely been suffering because I'm suffering and get overwhelmed about the small things all over the house because I feel like I'm losing control and can't keep anything together. I'm "mind-reading" where I shouldn't be (phrasings in emails, body language I can't read in Zoom/Video calls, a sigh from my husband as he walks away from me). It's been so so hard in August and September, and I'm starting to lose seeing a way out.

My doctor only refilled my Xanax for 12 and said "let's see how long that lasts you" because I've been taking like 3 of them a week (one per day for three days, then being able to manage the other 4, wherever it lands in the weekly rotation), and I've probably been leaning on it more than I should. I took that the wrong way, too. My T said that was OK because I'm going through a rough patch, we all are.

Thanks for asking, I'm sure I'm in good company.

My therapist was off for 3 weeks, and I really do need a lifeline. This week was his first week back, so hopefully regular sessions will help. I'm debating asking him if we can do twice a week, but I know therapists are strained too and I worry about being overly needy.
 
My boss has been very helpful, letting me work by phone from home. I think I would go crazy if it were not for that.

Since I am in the high risk category, with underlying conditions, I need to be careful. Then I got the flue, thought it was Covid and got tested. I'm still under quarantine, though the test came back negative. I'm grateful for that! The flue is horrible enough!

I have friends who have shopped for me and dropped off the things at my door.

As to mental health, I have taken somewhat of a downward trend, but I have done a few things around the house and wrote something for my T. I know I need to work on doing things to help myself to feel better. I need to get back to doing things like paintings and writing poetry.
 
Since I had some goals that I wanted to achieve this year but can't because of the coronavirus pandemic, I have been focusing on hobbies that I've had for a long time, as well as coming up with some new hobbies lately.

I've found that by focusing on and thinking about my hobbies a lot, it gets my mind off of what would be bothering me if I didn't have these hobbies.
 
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