How Can I Allow Myself To Feel?

[Spiderallis]

showing emotion to abusers only caused the trauma to become worse

That obstacle looks very familiar. The more I work on giving myself permission to have feelings, the less often those feelings sneak off to hide behind physical discomforts- not good at it yet, but I'm making progress. The emotions I wasn't allowed to express or possess came out as feeling ill or bad headaches because those were acceptable. It clicked into place for me when my T asked if other people were allowed to feel those things. Thus far I've got a bit of a script, I imagine someone else in my place and give them permission to feel whatever they're feeling. Once I'm comfortable with the pretend person having those emotions, I remind myself that I'm just as much of a human as anyone else is. If it's okay for someone else to feel that, I can too. Now that I'm getting better at letting the emotions exist, I can start working on what to do with them.

 

[littlelostchild]

That is so interesting - I have been so sick with a bad cold since I did the original post. I wonder if it is related to my feelings?

 

[shimmerz]

@littlelostchild I wouldn't be surprised. For some reason when I hit my lowest of lows I get pink eye. I have since I was a child (I remember getting it a ton when I was young). When it flares up I now know that I must stop all and see what it is that I am 'missing'. Other times I fall or drop things a lot. That is usually during a time that I am 'missing' something that is right in front of me. T-doc was very clear about this. For everything that we feel there is a reaction that is physical. Like job brings laughing, blockages cause other a less than joyous response. Since looking out for it I have noticed a definite pattern.

 

[shimmerz]

For some reason I couldn't type properly this morning. I even re-read this. Sorry. Should say:

Like joy brings laughing, blockages cause other less than joyous responses (illness etc). Since looking out for it I have noticed a definite pattern.

Obviously something was getting at me this morning. Sorry everyone. :confused: