How Carefully Do You Consider What You've Written Before You Post It?

[catjudo]

There's another discussion going on right now regarding whether we tend to automatically see the negative rather than the positive in things. I think this is a really helpful thing for us to examine, but it seems (at least judging by the people who have responded) that we are very aware of our negative tendencies.

My question is this...When you are posting to the forum do you go back and read what you've written before you post it? Do you think about how it will sound to people reading it and consider whether or not it truly conveys the message/question/sentiment that you are trying to get across? I think it's important to remember that we are merely sending our written word...there is no facial expression, body language or vocal inflection to aid the reader in interpreting our statements. This kind of problem exists whenever there is written-only communication regardless of whether it is in a PTSD forum or not. It is not uncommon for one's written word to be misinterpreted when there are no IRL context clues to help guide the reader.

I also think no matter how carefully we craft the words that we post there will always be times when people read it differently than we intended. Most of us are not authors nor should anyone here expect us to be. While there is absolute value in stepping back and realizing we may have read something through our own negative filter and therefore misinterpreted its intended meaning, I think there is equal value in being able to step back and realize that perhaps what we have written could have been easily misinterpreted.

I guess I'm just wanting to examine another facet of this same issue. How carefully do you consider what you've written before you post it? And regardless of the amount of consideration given beforehand, do you ever go back and read something that you've posted only to think, "Wow, I didn't mean for it to sound quite like that?"

 

[Grama-Herc]

Catjudo

Not only is this piece well written but extremely eye opening.

Some time ago I got into, shall we say, a "little" problem over my words. Since that time I have tried to read and re read everything I post. And Yes, I have gone back and looked at something I posted and thought OMG what was I thinking. I didn't mean to say that, or that was not what I meant at all.

I do however must say that as sufferers we tend to act first, or in this case write, and think later. It is the nature of our beast, I think, especially if we are upset or triggered by something or someone. As sufferers we don't tend to have a real handle on self control at times.

This is something we all need to work on and continue to stay attuned to daily. I look forward to see the other comments this thread will elicit

 

[kers]

A lot of times I read a post and log off to think about it. I come back later and sometimes I am still not ready to post! So I guess yes, I consider what I write pretty carefully. I am pretty wary of accidentally offending someone here, and if I think that might be the case, I usually add in a comment to that effect. I don't have much of a problem with reacting angrily--quite the opposite, actually.

 

[reallydown]

Woot..woot...hermeneutics...?

On a more serious note...this is a great thread. I usually post immediately, if I have an immediate response. Having said that, I have, on a couple of occasions, typed up partucularly venomous responses and caught myself in the nick of time. And when I thought about them more clearly, I was glad that I didn't post them because I realized that I had likely misinterpreted the original posts (although, a few really did deserve such responses)...Usually I also try to read the posts and correct typos but I often miss them... :(

 

[Nicolette]

I always pre-read what I post as I am cautious of misinterpretation especially as PTSD sufferers tend to take the least favourable view at times. Doesn't always work though :rolleyes:

Catjudo, while you raise a very valid point (one which I am currently experiencing first hand here on the forum) the problem can be the mindset you are in at the time of posting. Eg. If you are having a bad day, even if you pre-read your post, it may sound ok due to your frame of mind. Come back a day later in a really good mood and you can re-read what you posted the day before and think wow....did I really say that?!

 

[catjudo]

Thanks to everyone so far for your thoughtful responses.

Nicolette--I completely agree that one's frame of mind has a great influence on what they write and how they interpret their own writings.

... regardless of the amount of consideration given beforehand, do you ever go back and read something that you've posted only to think, "Wow, I didn't mean for it to sound quite like that?"

We all, I'm sure, have faced a time when we realized something we wrote didn't come across with our intended sentiment (regardless of how much time and consideration we gave before posting it). Maybe when faced with these times it would be valuable for the author to step up and say...you've misinterpreted what I've written but after re-reading it myself I can see how that might have happened. This is what I was really trying to say: ______.

That's not to say that no one does this. I have observed on many occasions someone coming back and taking ownership for not having explained themselves in a clear manner. But often I see tempers flair and people take issue with each other over what seems to be a simple difference in interpretation. It does relate very closely to seeing the negative vs positive but I think I'm suggesting the writer take some ownership of the problem as well, not just the reader.

I'm not really sure what I hoped to gain from this thread. I think I'm just trying to get more people to consider a different perspective. (I'm realizing many people here already do.)

 

[nic]

Good thread, catjudo.

As for me, I always try to read what I've written before I click "post reply." However, as much as I think we all should be careful of how we words our threads and posts, if we over-think it too much, then we may not express how we really feel in its truest emotion.

 

[kers]

I think I'm suggesting the writer take some ownership of the problem as well, not just the reader.

This is an excellent point, as I think we all have times where we might chalk something up to PTSD when it might be less sinister (or at any rate, a bit more complicated). As Nicolette wisely said,

If you are having a bad day, even if you pre-read your post, it may sound ok due to your frame of mind.

When I try to sound friendly when I'm actually quite grouchy, it doesn't come out right! I forget that.

 

[catjudo]

...if we over-think it too much, then we may not express how we really feel in its truest emotion.

Good point.

 

[Grama-Herc]

May I side step subject and ask What the hell does "Woot Woot hermeneutics" means?

 

[linasmom]

While there is absolute value in stepping back and realizing we may have read something through our own negative filter and therefore misinterpreted its intended meaning, I think there is equal value in being able to step back and realize that perhaps what we have written could have been easily misinterpreted.

I guess I'm just wanting to examine another facet of this same issue. How carefully do you consider what you've written before you post it? And regardless of the amount of consideration given beforehand, do you ever go back and read something that you've posted only to think, "Wow, I didn't mean for it to sound quite like that?"

catjudo,

This is an interesting thread. I definitely think the written word can be more easily misinterpreted as opposed to verbal communication and I do agree that we, as human beings (even despite PTSD) may have a hard time articulating ourselves.

I also think that this happens in verbal communication, as well. I can't tell you how many times I've taken someone's facial expressions and misinterpreted them. Or how many times my husband may something to me and I interpret it in a way that was not necessarily intended by him.

Communication is a complex form of evolution. We can try to hone this skill as best we can, but I doubt we will ever reach perfection because, I believe, we live in a subjective world, not an objective one. (Of course, that belief is a whole other debate.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I do think it's only responsible for us as members of an online community to think and write carefully and to do the same when we read. But I would never expect this "issue" to be resolved. This issue is something that just needs to be accepted.

I've definitely gone back and read some things that I've written on this board, especially when triggered, and thought "oh my, what was I thinking", while at the time it seemed perfectly logical. But it happens - and we move on.

If we were constantly trying to get everyone to "understand" us, we would all be exhausted.

Best,
Rachel

 

[reallydown]

Hermeneutics

Hi Herc,

Woot...is just a funny way of saying "what?...and hermeneutics ... the theory and methodology of interpreting texts...well...it gets more complicated than that...but yeah...of course, then the questions of what constitutes a text arise...etc.