How Could I Have Done This?

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

I cheated on my partner of 5years a few days ago. I told him today. He asked me why. I honestly didn't know how to respond. I told him I'm damaged, raped and don't deserve happiness. Is there anyone else in self sabotage mode atm? I love him so much and I think I've ruined our relationship. He left I don't know if he'll come back. He has been so supportive. How could I do this to him? I'm broken empty and scared all the time. I'm so scared it will happen again. That I will be raped again. I am nothing and nothing is all I am.

 

[nomedic1]

You are not nothing you made a mistake and were strong enough to tell the truth. He will accept that, that you were at least honest with him. He needs some time and space to process what you told him. He will be back I'm sure

 

[Barconian]

Your partner has been with you for 5 years... Why don't you trust yourself around him?

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Hi There, I'm really sorry you are going through this. Are you seeing a counselor who is experienced in trauma and PTSD?