General How Do Carers Make Things Better For Themselves

[raulsgirl]

I've been learning that I need to take care of myself, so I signed up for piano lessons. He said, "How can you afford that when ive been giving you money?" I was shot down, defensive depressed.

Then last night I told him I needed something really bad, and it was for us to be the way we were 9 months ago, he said "I work hard and I'm tired". I told him "I understand that, I just feel like I don't belong here", he said "Your here because I love you ". I said "Its hard for me to talk like this"; he says "Why is it so hard?" I said "Because I'm afraid of losing you, but I need"...then he picks up his phone and BOOM he changes the subject_no more about how I'm suffering and need emotional support .

I feel like I'm going through pstd!!!

 

[amethist]

Hi raulsgirl

You need to read the following thread, then maybe you will see that sometimes they cannot deal with our stress along with their own.

[DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/[/DLMURL]

PTSD sucks, but that is how it is sometimes.

 

[LizardViolet]

The hardest thing is to know when to keep trying, and when to walk away.

Supporters experiencing ptsd symptoms is a real thing. If you have a shorter fuse than you used to, if you get crazy angry about little things or when you think about the frustrating stuff in your life, if you're numb, if you just can't deal anymore, if you feel like you've lost yourself, you need help just as much as your sufferer does. And all the heart-to-hearts with a girlfriend and all the hobbies in the world won't necessarily fix you.

I am suffering now myself. I am seeking professional help, the kind of help my boyfriend won't acknowledge exists. And I am trying to decide how much of myself I am willing to sacrifice for him.

 

[Nicolette]

And I am trying to decide how much of myself I am willing to sacrifice for him.

LizardViolet I admire the clarity and honesty you have for your position. Good luck. :)

 

[scorpio2012]

@LizardViolet.....I am truly amazed at how little by little every single scenario I experienced is being covered in this forum. Wow... I went from being completely uneducated about this while in the relationship, and now I'm beginning to really piece everything together, alas the relationship is over, nevertheless the self education is priceless.

I too had to make the decision of how much to keep trying and when to walk away. I too didn't like the changes I was seeing in my own behavior and I knew it wasn't how I normally am. It was difficult, but in the end I had to make the choice that was healthiest for me :)

Thanks for that post, it makes me feel better today!