How Do I Begin Trust Again, When People Stab Me In The Back?

[Ammonthejarhead]

So I got out of the PTSD clinic, stayed with a pal for awhile. So then I f*cked up, drank acted like an ass, but called him when I needed a Great friend who could reel me in. Great friend I thought, but the ass told every one. I wanted to tell my mates and bros what I did and own up to it but he beat me to it and then said all of it to hit the streets. I resprect his sobriety, but respect my ability to f*ck you up. and let me choose my help, I'll find it, but it may not include the "Jesus Krispi"

 

[Anglesachse]

Sorry to hear Ammon brother, realy sucks.

Is a good reason why I have a load of people who are "Acquaintances" and few who are "Friends"

An Acquaintance doesn`t need to know shit, and will allways talk behind your back.
A Friend doesn`t need telling, he knows allready, and will only talk to your face.

Friends are like rocking horse shit. Very rare indeed.

Hang tough Brother. Like water off a ducks back, it will all flow under the bridge with time, and only the people worth anything will be around when its done and dusted.

 

[JarHed]

Is a good reason why I have a load of people who are "Acquaintances" and few who are "Friends"

True, true and true. It's always hard when someone that you thought was a 'friend' doesn't turn out to be. But it's better to find out at some point that to invest your energy in someone who isn't.

Try not to let it bother you too much, time is a great healer.

 

[Zipperhead]

Seems people go out of their way sometimes to destroy trust,

 

[Wagon]

Yup. That's the way those kind of people roll. Sounds like a pretty self centered action. "Oh look at me helping and being sober" Perhaps an ex-Alcoholic as well. Just spouting. Sorry

No worries Brother, We got your back in this virtual playground.

 

[Need an Oasis]

My psychiatrist told me a while ago that "the best way to (re)learn how to trust a person is by trusting him/her." If that makes sense. I'm working on that too. But it's also (for me at least) a case of once bitten twice shy. Not so easy, but I have to make a start somewhere.

 

[Jimmy1]

Amon, that was a hard one. When I was discharged, the majority of people I thought were friends turned their back on me when they learned I had PTSD, the rest I pushed away when I went through my alcohol, pill, and pot dependency. When I came out the other side I did not trust many people and spent a long time alone. As for women, a different kettle of fish altogether. It has taken me a long time to trust someone of the opposite sex, and even now I sometimes want to turn tail and run.

I think the saying was keep your friends close, and your enemy's closer.

 

[Ammonthejarhead]

I need to stop spending time in my head. It's a dangerous place. I really want to trust people, but my gut always rides in telling me, "whats in it for them if you let it out?". It kept me alive for so long , so why should I ignore it? I'm just at a hard spot with it. While in the PTSD clinic I met alot of good people that I trust and feel that I can onload on, but then I'm still stuck on looking at Civ's as the "other people". I want to love again but in the back back of my head, I always hear, "If they only knew what you did"

 

[Wagon]

Spouting a bit here.... But Ammon you may have touched on a major thing to work on. Forgiveness. It's a big two way street that you have to give the right of way on first.

I've been working on it quite seriously for about 3 weeks. I guess I have realized there may be no end to that. I f*ck up so often that the act of forgiveness part seems to be here to stay. Never over.

Peace
Wagon

 

[Raven]

I was born with something that is both a fatal flaw and a strength: the inability to forgive no matter how silly and minor the infraction. Because of this, I am basically estranged from my family. All my friendships are fleeting. My romantic relationships last no longer than four months. I told my last lover that I'd rather die old and alone than beside someone I resent. It was the basis for my GD from the Army. Eventually I held grudges against everyone I served with, even for stupid and petty slights. I'm told I hate everyone.

 

[tho9900]

Raven... sometimes people still like you regardless of how you feel about them... I have a friend like that.. she is my closest companion, lol I gotta give her points for persistance, but there was a loooong rocky road with a lot of absences to get there... but ya.. hard to trust people sometimes.. even family at points.. well sometimes mostly...

 

[Wagon]

In my limited experience with forgiving.....it does seem important to forgive yourself first.....allow yourself wiggle room to fail. After that the other stuff seems to pale.

I am positive there is someone here that is allot better at forgiveness.