How do i connect with my body?

[barefoot]

Wondering whether anyone may have any suggestions to help me with this...

I'm not very connected to my body. I think it's partly the result of chronic pain. Partly because some parts of my body are associated with trauma (so perhaps I don't feel vety comfortable/safe with those body parts?) And also partly because of my tendency to dissociate - when there are difficult feelings, I tend to leave my body pretty quickly.

I am now having Physio for post-surgery rehab. Surgery went well but in a way it feels weird/alien/unsettling not having the pain anymore. I know it's a good thing but it's unfamiliar...it doesn't feel like my body because it isn't hurting? It's a bit like...if I can't feel a pain there, what is there to feel...there's nothing so I can't feel my body...?

Anyway...I'm persevering with the Physio but find it challenging. She'll ask me to do something and I get the impression that she thinks it's a very straightforward request. But I find it baffling because I can't really feel my body. I can't connect to whatever part we're supposed to be working on.

I did think the surgery and Physio would be a good opportunity to establish a better connection to my body but I feel quite stuck with it.

I talked a bit with my therapist about it last session and she gave me a homework (which she never does!) to connect with my body every day using body scans etc. She said that increasing my connection to my body will really help our work together.

I have always been very weirded out by the prospect of connecting with my body/doing body scans etc. The thought of it has always been very anxiety making for me. Now it is less so - I'm more open to doing it and less freaked out by the idea. But I just seem to struggle so much with actually being able to connect/feel when I try.

I have tried to simply lay and body scan myself - bringing my attention to different body parts and just feeling it being attached to me. And I have listened to audio body scans/meditations. In both cases, I find it so hard to focus. I hear the words butthen realise I'm not connecting/feeling. I'm just listening and kind of letting the words wash over me.

Any ideas about how else to work on this or is it just a case of persevering?

I wondered whether having a massage would be a good idea. I used to love them but these days am not great with being touched so I don't know if it will just be more anxiety making at the moment.

Also wondered whether yoga or something would help but I don't think I'm ready for that just yet until I'm a bit more healed from the surgery. And would the ability to connect with my body be required for me to do yoga/Pilates etc anyway rather than trying to use those activities to increase connection?

Anyone got any ideas of what might help or do I just keep plugging away with the body scans until something clicks??

 

[ladee]

I am looking forward to the replies !! I too, have this same problem. And I am in chronic pain.. the only connection I have to my body is where it hurts. Thank you for this post ! Hope we both get answers to help us connect.

 

[barefoot]

Hopefully someone will have wise words to help us both @ladee :-)

My therapist has said before that people who live with chronic pain don't really have a relationship with their body, they have a relationship with pain. There is some truth in that, I think...

 

[ladee]

Absolutely, and that so plays into our life story doesn't it... pain of any kind is normal... I think I would be like you. I would just be setting here, dumbfounded as to what to do or how to do it without pain.... mine is arthritis and all the goodies that come with it.. no surgery's to help.... and I know I even walk different than I used to, to compensate....
So relearning.... instead of us being joyful about that new adventure... we are scared... we are such PTSD babies aren't we..:rolleyes:

So will be following this thread, I know many here do body work... so am really looking forward to seeing replies... so we have a new adventure to look forward to.... but I'm going to let you try it first.... to see how it works....:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I would love to do yoga.... heard some very good things about how that works to connect us to our body... I am 66 yrs old... I would do one of those poses and be stuck like that for the rest of my life... :( They wouldn't be able to get me in the ambulance... ... I have to use humor... or I would just get in my car and drive off into the sunset....

Hope you get many replies... it will help us both... see how wonderful this place is.. we help others and don't even know it..

Gentle hugs , cyber hugs, ya know, the ones we can't 'feel'...:inlove:

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

It's a process, that's for sure.

For me, breath work laid the more solid foundation to be able to arrive in a space I felt comfortable enough to stay in long enough to do a body scan, eventually.

Diaphragmatic, rhythmic, and alternate nostril breathing. Shamanic drumming, rattles, and such helps me, too.

Chanting was my next experience, along with the shamanic drumming. First, I learned the Ra-Ma-Da-Sa-Sa-Say-So-Hung (Universal healing chant), then the Om-Mani-Padme-Hum (Loving kindness chant), then the Om by itself, and listened to many others that soothe and connect me with self.

Massage therapy then entered the scene, very slowly due to past traumas, and I learned of the body's fascia. Fascinating and something we all should know about. Who knew?

Grateful for healers of all kind who barter, making much of what I've learned and experienced possible.

Then I learned more about factory farming, "food" production, and my food sources. Holy shit, we ingest a lot of bad juju in our food and beverage choices that creates the painful foundation of much of our suffering. But yet they allow those f*ckers to still manufacture and distribute it. Grrrrrr

Energy healing soon followed with some Reiki sessions and Healing Touch sessions, aligning, clearing, and learning how to read chakras and such.

Then I met a registered dietitian who schooled me on so many things, including gluten, dairy, neurofeedback (yeah, weird, but true), how to use insects as nutrition (I only sampled and helped prepare, but didn't adopt it as an eating habit), and how my digestive and elimination system actually work, etc.

Then I met an iridologist who blew my mind by reading up close photos of my eyes and telling me of my complete medical history, without having any prior knowledge of ANY of it. She taught me about the lymphatic system and how important maintaining that flow is. There again, another system within my own being that no one had ever taught me about. WTF?

I then learned of dry brushing the skin before each shower to help keep that flow on the go, jumping on the mini-trampoline for a few minutes daily to help the flow go, and paying closer attention to what I allow on and around my being, as it ALL gets absorbed into our largest organ, the skin. The energies of whoever prepares what we ingest and use gets absorbed, too. Damn. I never thought of all of that.

I had to totally re-learn how to love myself, as no one ever healthily taught me how.

Hot epsom salt baths is a great place to practice body scans and self talk with all parts of your body. I speak to mine often throughout the day and thank it for doing all the stuff it does without needing any prompts from me.

Sitting in the early morning and late afternoon sun for at least 20 minutes is another good chance to visit with all parts of self, even if silently.

I talk to the parts that hurt and thank them for letting me know something isn't flowing well in that area and ask for it to help me figure out the solution. Not that it works in stopping the pain, but it feels good to me to feel a connection vs. viewing it as a battle and something to wage war with. I've had enough of that shit.

I make time to look in the mirror and speak to myself lovingly and kindly, as well. That took a lot of getting used to as we don't often make time to face ourselves in a mirror unless we're primping and checking to see if we look good enough to present ourselves to others, it seems.

Everything is connected, but we're taught to divide and separate by seeking specialists and rarely viewing ourselves as a whole being. Becoming our own best friend is a very weird thing to practice for many, self included, but I've learned it to be a very necessary step in my overall healing process.

Yoga hurt me too much to continue in a class arena, I only do selected poses at home now. Even the gentlest forms and restorative caused more pain than relief.

Tai chi will be my next experiment as it appears to be even gentler than yoga.

Hula hoops are fun, too, especially in strengthening the core and having time to connect with various body parts while practicing, but not the store bought kind, as they're too small for adults. You can make them out of pvc tubing found at the hardware store, but you have to buy a 100 ft. roll, meaning you'll have a few to share, too. lol

Best wishes to you in mapping out your most beneficial path.

 

[VioletButterfly]

@barefoot - I read your post and got all wiggly inside. I'm afraid I also have this issue, though I never thought of it in terms of relating to my pain. I have chronic pain in my neck and shoulders from a car accident. Also in my hips and some in my lower back. The thought of my connecting to my body is hard for me, I think, because of the body image issues I have and how it connects to the trauma. I hear you on the "parts" and body scans. Ugh. My mind races horribly when I try to do something like that or if I try to meditate.

On the flip side, what I have found that helps is gentle stretching, like I used to do in gymnastics, but way scaled back as I'm now a broken old lady, helps a bit. It helps me to be more grounded in my body. Just gentle stretching like holding onto a railing or counter top and standing on my toes, bending a little bit from side to side like a ballet dancer, lifting a leg forward and back... things like that. Kind of imagine you're a ballerina or a leaf floating down from a tree in the fall? I also do some floor exercises where I stretch out my hips and legs, and use small weights and stretching to strengthen my arms and upper back. When I try to stay in the mindset of an athlete just "working out," I tend do so better with connecting with my body.

I'm not sure this is the connection therapists might be looking for in terms of working back through trauma, but it does help with pain and it does help with self-esteem, at least for me, because I'm building strength and flexibility.

Not sure if any of this was helpful, but wanted to let you know that you're not alone and maybe to share a tip or two that aren't quite as static as scanning that might work for you. Take care. VB

 

[ladee]

Oh my goodness @Tornadic Thoughts , I'm not going to be alive long enough to try all those things.... will read your post again and pick the ones I can do, and afford, like breathing..:rolleyes:. You are truly blessed to have been able to explore so many things... I have been thinking about Tia Che myself....I think I could do that one...
Forget the hulahoop....this fat old lady ain't even going to try to get all this moving to make that happen.... but you have suggested some awesome things... going to check things out... I am not the OP, but thanks...

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

@barefoot and @ladee, many, many years ago I wrote a letter to my body, as a place to get started. Can you imagine doing that for just one body part, not necessarily the one you feel the most disconnected to, or the one that has the most pain. For me, the most "benign" body part is my right big toe. Sometimes, that is where I start. Small and simple.

Breathing is good. Imagine your breath going right into a certain body part. Breathe into that part. Really try to feel it, but know that just imagining it and having the intention to do it will help.

Try progressive muscle relaxation. When you do a body scan, don't just try to feel it, but wiggle around, clench those muscles, etc., and then relax. So if I start at my feet, I wiggle my toes, might stamp my feet a little bit, then relax with a deep exhale. Then up to the calves, clench those calf muscles so I really feel them, then relax with a deep exhale. And so on.

Self massage is another thing you can try. It feels especially good to give yourself a foot massage, hand massage, and scalp massage. Lots of acupressure points all in there.

I just learned this new one, for grounding. Going through the 5 senses, what are 5 things I see in my surroundings, 5 things I hear, what do I taste (e.g., a strong mint, or chocolate), what do I smell (e.g., essential oils), what do I feel (e.g., a cold orange from the fridge.) This is the typical soothing with the 5 senses, i.e., what you sense OUTSIDE of your body.

THEN, what makes this different, is that after I've gone through these external senses, I close my eyes and go through the senses INSIDE, in my imagination. What 5 things do I see with my mind's eye (e.g., a seagull, a textbook, a baseball, my wife's smiling face)? What 5 smells can I conjure up (e.g., orange blossoms, coffee brewing, oatmeal with maple syrup and brown sugar)? What 5 things can I taste (e.g., biting into a lemon -- and here, I concentrate so much and get my imagination going so well that I will salivate and feel that funny feeling in my glands)?

And when I get to what do I feel, I try to feel INSIDE my body. Can I sense my heart beating? Can I sense how full or how empty my stomach is? Can I feel the pain and inflammation in my low back? Can I feel the tension in my neck and shoulders?

Just trying to do that takes a lot of work. This is also very good for distracting my mind from rumination and intrusive thoughts.

Hope some of this was helpful! Good luck, and let us know how things go.

 

[ladee]

@Lola Nocheprieta , this I can do!. Going to save this as I will forget. But it feels doable.
I am completely shut down right now. Too much going on this month. So will try the breathing first which may pull me back into NOW.
Thanks...finally something I can do and
Succeed. Gentle hugs.

 

[Nessa7]

I've found that I'm very picky. After trying a lot of options, there are only two people on YouTube that I rely on almost entirely for my yoga and meditation needs. I ended up being successful once I gave up on trying to force myself listen to an entire recording if it isn't working. As soon as I knew that something didn't feel right, I stopped and moved on to the next.

It might be helpful to broaden your search to recordings of people guiding others in corpse pose or savasana, if you're thinking that the people doing meditation or body scans sound too serious. All you have to do is lay on your back. I feel like overall yogis sound more relaxed and natural than people that focus more on just meditation.

My big trick for dissocition and needing to feel grounded in my body is to turn on a fan and focus on how it feels blowing on my body. For me, I think I need to already be feeling something to be able to notice that I'm tense, which seems to be my natural state. I can see the same thing working with a weighted blanket or maybe a bath.

 

[Tinyflame]

focus on how it feels blowing on my body. For me, I think I need to already be feeling something to be able to notice that I'm tense, which seems to be my natural state. I can see the same thing working with a weighted blanket or maybe a bath.

I also find only physical sensation helps me. For example, sleeping with very little on I can feel the sheets, & really strangely fall asleep though I would expect to be more hypervigilant not being dressed (I used to sleep in jeans, to be ready to run). Also tight sheets knock me out, because I can't flip over all night (my sheets look like a mountain when I wake up), like a weighted blanket. Both make me feel my body.

Warmth.

 

[barefoot]

Just a quick one as I'm rushing out and will be tied up for most of the day. I've read all your replies but don't have time to respond properly right now - will do so but, in the meantime, I just wanted to thank you for writing such thorough, thoughtful replies. I'll be mulling on your messages today and will respond properly later. Thank you!