How do I cope with trigger noises from neighbors?

Mullimouse

New Here
It's my first post here, hello everyone! :)

(I hope the thread is fine, I don't really knew where to post it elsewhere.)

so my boyfriend, my cat and myself moved into a new apartment. Luckily, we found a beautiful one in a mostly quiet area. It's top floor and we have no neighbors beside us, which we were really happy about, since we also moved because we lived in a really noisy apartment (both our neighbors used drugs).

After the extreme stress of moving in, we were really happy for a day. Until our neighbors downstairs came back saturday night. The whole sunday we could hear them stomping through their apartment, screaming instead of talking and every stomp they made and every door they slammed shook our whole apartment.

I was devastated to say the least, since I thought being on the top floor without any neighbors beside us will stop the constant triggering noise. But no, of course not.

The constant screaming and banging and stomping triggers me so badly, that I have panic attacks and breakdowns every day. I had nightmares and sleep-paralysis about my childhood trauma and people breaking into my apartment again and I can't handle it.

My heart is racing constantly and I am so exhausted again, that I can do nearly nothing than feeding and playing with my cat until I fall into my bed again.

I went to stationary trauma-therapy for six weeks a month ago and it didn't help me at all.

The only thing I can do is wearing earplugs for hours until the neighbors are gone in the morning, just to wake me with their stomping, since I can hear that even wearing the earplugs through my pillow.

I don't want to wear earplugs all the time, I want to hear my cat and my boyfriend, my anxiety always tells me, that if they choke or call for help I wouldn't hear them.

Does anyone have any helpful idea or can tell about similar experiences?

Moving isn't an option, we just moved in and we have no money left. Even if we could move, we still don't have any money to move into a house or something like that. We already live on the top floor, I lived on top floor before and that obviously doesn't always help.

I really need help, since I feel like I could go into a clinic again. I would be really happy if someone would answer, I have no one else to talk about that. My boyfriend isn't triggered by something like that and doesn't really notice the sound. And my therapist only tells me to wear earplugs for now and buy some rugs with underlay (which are extremely expensive and I really don't have money for that).

I'm sorry for the bad english, I'm not a native speaker and I'm really exhausted since we moved here.
 
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screaming instead of talking and every stomp they made and every door they slammed shook our whole apartment.
As It sounds as if they’re “just” noisy people, you might have a word with management about switching units…...

Mullimouse

New Here
I’m really sound sensitive too- monophonic as well as startle reflex. I think - inside normal hours - it’s unfortunately our job to insulate ourselves. I like headphones rather than ear plugs , And investing in things like good quality interlined curtains , It might be worth having some wall hanging that you back in sound insulation and yes - floor rugs help a lot too.

It’s really tough and you have my sympathy .
I'm also sorry for your sensitivity to sound. Did you manage to work it out? If not, I hope it gets better for you

hello mulli. welcome aboard. for what it's worth, your written english is better than allot of native speakers i know. it is amazing how often it shows that second language speakers actually STUDY the language instead of assuming good grammar is a birthright.

i have two main tools i use for triggery noises. one is to hum or sing over them my voice is much closer to my ears than any outside noise. so it doesn't take much volume on my part to drown out a domestic spat downstairs. my second most used tool is to find someplace else to be for as long as it takes to settle my nerves. in the case of neighbors, the high noise periods often have a predictable time pattern to them. breakfast out is far more calming than listening to dysfunctional parents trying to get rebellious adolescents off to school.
Hey, thank you very much for your reply. I'm sorry for replying so late.

Ah, thank you. I'm really insecure in everything, so I try to write as good as possible. I am happy that you appreciate that.

Sadly, humming doesn't help to drown out the loud vibrations that the walking and shutting doors the neighbors make downstairs. I hum when I get too stressed to calm myself.

What helps to some degree are earplugs and on top of that over ear headphones. But I can still hear some of the vibration and also feel it. But I won't totally freak out. Maybe still a little.

It's a bit unpredictable, when they are home and when not, but I figured they aren't awake early in the morning. Unfortunately my medicamentation makes it really hard to wake up early. I'll try figuring out how to.

My boyfriends wants to help me to find a secure and calm place for me, where I can go alone. I'm unable to go outside alone right now, so we are working on that.

Hi and welcome. I can relate to what you are feeling. When I saw your post I thought, "Yes. Finally someone else that knows what I'm struggling with."

I have neighbors next door that often slam their front door so hard that the wall shakes. They also bang around quite a bit into our shared wall. (We live in a condo) It's so bad that when their housekeepers come (and are loud too), my son will text me to let me know they are there in case I want to delay coming home.

My therapist tells me to work on "I am safe" vs I don't feel safe. Telling myself I am safe doesn't work yet because the noise too triggering to me. The only things I've used that help are listening to music with ear buds in and leaving to go somewhere else. I'm sorry that's not very helpful.
Hey, thank you a lot for your reply!

I am glad, that someone can understand me that well, but also sad you need to struggle with that too.

My neighbor before did the same. He ran into the walls and threw every door shut. He was drugged and drunk a lot. One of the reasons we moved. The wall between us was paper thin.

I'm happy to hear, that your son helps you with that. My boyfriend also tries to help me. A lot. But it's hard and there is only an extend he can help. He mostly works and has a lot of issues himself.

I wrote that in another comment, but it's also too hard for me too. I don't feel save and the longer I listen to the sounds without earplugs, the more I feel like having a panic attack. Until I have one and then I stopped. I did it a few times and it only got worse. My current therapist said I shouldn't do that right now, since I'm too unstable. She is right with that.

I wear earplugs 24/7 and mostly hear some music or brown noise, so I don't get too startled of some sudden noise.

I work on getting out alone, but my anxiety is too much right now. I really would prefer not living in the city, where I'm constantly scared of people harrassing me (which they do a lot), but there is no other option for me right now.

Your reply was helpful, thank you for that.
 
It's my first post here, hello everyone! :)

(I hope the thread is fine, I don't really knew where to post it elsewhere.)

so my boyfriend, my cat and myself moved into a new apartment. Luckily, we found a beautiful one in a mostly quiet area. It's top floor and we have no neighbors beside us, which we were really happy about, since we also moved because we lived in a really noisy apartment (both our neighbors used drugs).

After the extreme stress of moving in, we were really happy for a day. Until our neighbors downstairs came back saturday night. The whole sunday we could hear them stomping through their apartment, screaming instead of talking and every stomp they made and every door they slammed shook our whole apartment.

I was devastated to say the least, since I thought being on the top floor without any neighbors beside us will stop the constant triggering noise. But no, of course not.

The constant screaming and banging and stomping triggers me so badly, that I have panic attacks and breakdowns every day. I had nightmares and sleep-paralysis about my childhood trauma and people breaking into my apartment again and I can't handle it.

My heart is racing constantly and I am so exhausted again, that I can do nearly nothing than feeding and playing with my cat until I fall into my bed again.

I went to stationary trauma-therapy for six weeks a month ago and it didn't help me at all.

The only thing I can do is wearing earplugs for hours until the neighbors are gone in the morning, just to wake me with their stomping, since I can hear that even wearing the earplugs through my pillow.

I don't want to wear earplugs all the time, I want to hear my cat and my boyfriend, my anxiety always tells me, that if they choke or call for help I wouldn't hear them.

Does anyone have any helpful idea or can tell about similar experiences?

Moving isn't an option, we just moved in and we have no money left. Even if we could move, we still don't have any money to move into a house or something like that. We already live on the top floor, I lived on top floor before and that obviously doesn't always help.

I really need help, since I feel like I could go into a clinic again. I would be really happy if someone would answer, I have no one else to talk about that. My boyfriend isn't triggered by something like that and doesn't really notice the sound. And my therapist only tells me to wear earplugs for now and buy some rugs with underlay (which are extremely expensive and I really don't have money for that).

I'm sorry for the bad english, I'm not a native speaker and I'm really exhausted since we moved here.
I have the same issues with my neighbours. They are constantly slamming doors,shouting and stamping about. The boyfriend thinks hes some sort of wannabe gangster that talks like hes black. THe teenage son is always shouting and screaming. I have mentioned this to her and she says the door slamming is coz of the wind! She is rude,selfish and inconsiderate. She knows I have mental health issues but don't give a flying fig. I have found that ear plugs help and also headphones while watching tv blocks it out a bit. Also a good bang on the wall does the trick.

Hope u get it sorted. Not being able to relax in your own home sucks. Xx
 
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Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
I'm noise sensitive too. I am so sorry you're feeling like possibly going back to a clinic. I hope some of these ideas help you. I'd call the the manager immediately. Usually landlords like the quiet neat tenants a smidgen better. At least I think so.
 

Issie

Learning
Slightly off the wall….I’m noise sensitive too but found when babysitting my grandson the ’white noise’ his parents used to soothe him to sleep worked wonders in relaxing me too. Thought I’d throw it in here for hat it’s worth.
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
Slightly off the wall….I’m noise sensitive too but found when babysitting my grandson the ’white noise’ his parents used to soothe him to sleep worked wonders in relaxing me too. Thought I’d throw it in here for hat it’s worth.
I second Issie....my fire makes the best constant soothing noise and it really really helps. You can also try an aromatherapy option. Such has essential oil diffusers/jewelery, pure made insence, wood wick candle makes a noise!! Might be helpful.
 

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
I am dealing with this. It is complex. A couple screams at each other and then afterwards their children scream. I play loud music when they scream so they realize someone else is there. It’s hard.

I also have a piano and play it as a way of asserting my presence. I know it sounds weird but the neighbors before them were drug dealers and that was a whole different situation where I learned to “push back”. Politeness isn’t appropriate in certain situations.

The neighbor before the drug dealers called the police out on me for domestic violence. She lived alone and listened to me fight with my sons and we listened to her fight with her dog and her son on the phone.

I was the disturbing neighbors and now I’m hearing the neighbors scream in the night and it is painful to hear. My son, who is emerging from emotional trauma from his dad, says he “likes” hearing it because “everyone does it.”

I said, “Not everyone.”

Not everyone. If your neighbors are causing a domestic disturbance then your right to peace could be a catalyst for their motivation to change. It was for me. I wonder if I can hear my own words?!
 
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