How Do I Get My Story Out?

[SadBunny]

I find it impossibly hard to talk or think about things that have happened. I always try to hide it and ignore it I think if I just dont think about it then it can't hurt me. But nothing can hide forever i've found. I keep everyone at a distance so I dont get to close to people and it makes my family especily upset. My mother was yelling at me saying that i needed to talk to her about things. She started bringing up stuff i hid away and it upset me alot to the point of tears. She doesn't understand and i can't bring myself to talk to her about it or to any one. How can I when she explodes on me like that. I try to talk but i can't find the words. Its like they were taken away from me and my mouth shut and i'm to remain quiet forever. I dont now how to approach people about things. I dont know where i would even begin. Any one got advice?

 

[Heather]

If you can't speak about it. Have you tried writing it down? That would be a way to start. There are somethings that I find to painful or to embarrassing to talk about especially in therapy. So, I write them down and at the beginning of each session I hand them to my therapist.

Several months ago I wrote down about 6 - 7 things that had happened to me / I had done that I just could not verbalize to him. It helped just knowing that I had put those things down on a piece of paper and gotten them out.

I hope this helps.

Take care. Heather

 

[Deleted member 487]

You could try reminiscing and record it.
I tried that, and it worked at first, but after my last TBI I couldn't do it.

 

[freakofnurture]

What Heather said.
There was a time in my relationship with my husband when we argued exclusively in writing, sitting side by side.

 

[Reclusive]

You can also work through the tears. There will be tears. I don't think there's any avoiding them. And it's okay to cry, to let yourself feel, to hurt. These kinds of things we need to allow ourselves to do because we're human and that's how things go. If you feel you can, talk to someone you trust and go through the tears to come out the other side.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Sadbunny,

I too really struggle with words.
I was told that this is because my trauma happened at a young age and I did not then have the words to describe what happened. So I started trying to describe what happened in a child's way. I am now 46, but was describing stuff from when I was 7. It certainly helped and now I can use much more appropriate language, but it has taken more than a year of therapy to reach this point.

As for the tears... well they still come. I just don't bother with them any more. I have finally found that I can talk through the tears, but it took a long time.

I have also taken the advice of others regarding writing. I still find it helpful to write stuff to give/ e-mail to my T. which we then discuss. I have found it much easier this way and he really doesn't mind.

Good Luck
Lucy x