How Do I Heal From Ptsd Having To Live With Threats?

[kstg]

Do anyone have advices?

I suffer from PTSD after having dealt with fear of being murdered by a psychopath, escaping him at his worst. Now he has started threatening me again, as psychopaths often cannot leave old victims alone. And of course there is a new trauma in that, that I have to deal with and secure myself against, but the worst part is that I am SOO sensitive to the whole thing, that my old trauma hits me like a truck every time I receive threats directly or indirectly from this man.

Regardless of why you have PTSD, do any of you have experience in having to live with new traumas being similar to the old one? For example PTSDed soldiers having to go back to war, or people having PTSD cause of work situation that continues afterwards. And how do you cope with not having the old trauma paralysing you, having to act with a new - similar - threat?

 

[FindingMyself88]

My situation is having PTSD from childhood physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. The emotional abuse was done by my mom and I am now having to live with her again part time right now, but soon full time. For me, I dissociate a lot so my T is helping me learn grounding skills. The most important thing is having a support network and a therapist for me. You also have to learn how to be gentle with yourself and put your needs first.

Have you gotten a restraining order put against him? You do not need to deal with this! Gentle hugs if you'll accept them :hug:

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi,
It's very difficult to actually heal when you're constantly being re triggered and re traumatized. You first need to ensure your safety. Can you contact law enforcement and get a restraining order or file charges?

 

[kstg]

I have done what I can, but psychopaths aren't necessarily very respectful of what the law tells them, so they can find ways around, and every time the law is after him, he gets triggered to do new tricks, so it's a difficult balance, but I have chosen to continue reporting him, even if he freaks out in anger every time. The problem is that he has other psychos as his friends around the world, and they are in a network online, and I'm registered as a victim…. So it's damn hard to feel "safe". The other problem is that the police isn't very interested in helping. They see this as a "relationship issue", and see me as responsible for creating it (since I dated him). They don't understand that this man was never loving me, and just was with me to feel pleasure in torturing me. To them it seems like this was a normal relationship gone wrong. Police simply does not understand enough about psychopaths for me to get any real understanding there, unfortunately. They literally told me "you got yourself into this mess, so what can we do?"

Anyway, I do what I can when it comes to new threats/safety, but I still have to deal with absolute hell triggering flashbacks and all the insanity I feel following that every time I get threatened. Nothing more has happened, but the threats themselves make me fall back in the black hole instantly. I sleep with knives in my bed, scream at my kids every time I feel they are in danger and generally act like a nerve wreck. It's hard.

 

[Justmehere]

How is he continuing to threaten you?

It's not really just post traumatic stress if there continues to be a threat. Symptoms are not a disorder but there to help you survive. Once the threat is gone, then dealing can begin.

It is good you are making a record of what his is doing. It is not your fault simply because you dated him. That's awful they said that.

You can still get a restraining order even without the police filing charges. I would also recommend calling the local women's shelter in your area, as they have many resources for just this situation. In my area they even have support groups for people who have survived and continue to endure threats.

 

[kstg]

Yeah, I know the threats are real, they come indirectly through friends or directly through small tricks or in e-mails that seem to come from other people, so I open them, or just online. And I am dealing with them as best I can

The PTSD activation happened long time ago, when I was terrified about being killed, escaping through my house, hiding and also afterwards, trying to avoid danger by sleeping in the closet with knives…. And this is the horror story I relive all the time. Totally like a Hollywood horror, to be honest. You wouldn't believe such people exist in real life, but they do.

And the threats that come now, give me major flashbacks to the initial experience, and it makes it hard to have a life. It's not the threats themselves that make it the hardest (even if they are bad, too), it's the reaction I have to them. I go into hell.

 

[Justmehere]

Do you have a good therapist?

 

[kstg]

@FindingMyself88 Thank you. I feel you understand very well. And gentle hug back. :-)[DOUBLEPOST=1399915456,1399915344][/DOUBLEPOST]@Justmehere I am going to the doctor in two days to ask for a therapist. I didn't want one originally, as I felt it was too hard to talk about it all, fearing to not be understood, fearing to be made responsible, like how police makes it my responsibility. But I realise now, after the recent threats, that I am not going to be ok any time soon, so I will find one. Hopefully a good one.

 

[Justmehere]

I do think there are ways for you to feel better and even a little safer soon - and that a good therapist can help with grounding and managing all that you are experiencing so it is less hellish and that the old trauma doesn't get so stirred up again and again. The police are sadly not trained in matters like this, but a decent therapist will be able to help a lot more and won't judge you or blame you like the police have. My heart goes out to you.

 

[kstg]

My heart goes out to you.

The love and care I sense from you, and from people I talk with on psychopath victim forums and other trauma forums I have visited, is so unique. People are so careful and respectful after a trauma. If nothing else, traumatised people seem to have even more capacity for love and care than others. It is amazing and beautiful. Thank you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I hate to say keep running in a sense, but can you shut down your current email and start up another one? There are so many free options out there on the internet. Yes, it stinks to have to transfer over your contact information for dozens if not hundreds of contacts, but it can be well worth it to ensure that you aren't getting triggered just by opening your email. Are there other ways that he is harassing you? On social media as well? You could shut down those accounts and start up new ones using a pseudonym and only add people you trust. I know this isn't easy, but I think any little thing you can do to stop the triggering will help you in the long run. I'm sorry the police have such a crappy attitude toward you!

 

[shimmerz]

T-docs are good at helping us process trauma, but it is an entirely different thing when you are still in the midst of being harassed and abused. Many people do not understand what psychopaths are capable of therefore they 'mistrust' or disrespect or minimize the experience. I am so sorry. I have walked this road and I found the t's didn't get it. I did however, find a resource here in Canada called DASA (Domestic Abuse and Sexual Assault) who were excellent at helping me formulate a safety plan. They actually believe you and I think validation is very important in this case. The whole thought pattern of a psychopath is to put you into freeze mode. I found that DASA had much experience in dealing with these types and helped me get out of the freeze mode - helping me to be more proactive. I feel for you. I know how scrambled and terrifying this can be. Godspeed.....