How Do I Know When It's Time To Give Up?

[Sheera]

I logically know that I am self sabotaging not keeping things in the right perspectives and am letting my triggers get the best of me. The logical side of me knows that I am wrong for feeling so despondent and desperate but I am not my logical side I can't convince myself to see the logic that I'm desperately trying to convince myself of. I've called the crisis line a couple of times but they can't help I've emailed my therapist a couple of times already since Thursday and I can't bother her again.. After months of not scratching I started up again... Everyone is legitimately mad at me and so my question is.. When can I give you? When can I end it all? Or at what point do I check myself in and have myself sedated if that's even possible?

 

[ladee]

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way and feeling so confused.
If I am understanding your question, when is it ok to go to the hopital and seek help? If that is your question I would suggest you do it soon. It is not 'giving up' as much as it is letting yourself be safe. To be in a situation where you will receive long term help and possible meds that will help to stabilize you.
But only you can make that choice. If you feel you have to have a break then take it.
It isn't giving up, it is you giving yourself permission to try things another way for awhile.
Sending you gentle hugs if you accept. It is a very painful place to be. Take care of yourself.

 

[Friday]

If you want to, it's not time.

^^^^
Death

 

[Sheera]

I've never let myself be hospitalized Im afraid that with my triggers past and fears in general a hospital setting will be more traumatizing than helpful. .. If asking the question if that's where I belong is confirmation of the fact that I should check myself in than im really in trouble because my son just turned 5 my husband is diabetic and they both 'need' me

 

[Sheera]

If you want to, it's not time.

I appreciate your answer and thank you that makes me feel better

 

[gealach]

I've never let myself be hospitalized Im afraid that with my triggers past and fears in general a hospit...

Yes, they both need you - they need you healthy and functioning. You can't take care of them when you're in such a bad spiral. If you're having to question if you need more help, then the answer very likely is yes and that's ok. Be gentle and understanding with yourself. I wish you kindness and healing. :hug:

 

[Sheera]

As much as I want this all to be over I know I can't be that selfish I know I chose and fought to be a parent and I can't screw up my son's life even more than it already is by having me as a parent so no I'm not contemplating suicide just scratching it's soothing and the only way that'd working right now even though I know it's bad it seems like the right solution for now

 

[Sheera]

I really appreciate you all taking the time to answer me and help me figure this out.

 

[screen-name]

They need you. You know that and everyone agrees. I know that sometimes I think "why am I struggling through all of this just to exist for other people's needs?"

You can't just hang around because they need you. I would bet a lot of money that they love and enjoy you too though :)

Talk and see if they will do something that allow you all to enjoy each other. Would a small family vacation be as helpful as the hospital? If you don't enjoy anything right now and really want the hospital then your family will make it. I'd bet again to say they wouldn't even mind handling things so they can have you back to enjoy life with.

This is just a different perspective on the being needed idea that we parents deal with while trying to manage our issues. It helps me.

 

[Sheera]

I think that right now my husband is too upset and frustrated and his needs come first I don't think he'd be 'happy' to deal with things while I calm myself down... I think he'd be a lot happier if I calmed myself down and got my ducks in a row 'right now'

 

[Sheera]

My hubby gave me back my car keys so that I can take my son to preschool today m I'm beyond petrified

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I've read the thread and can certainly identify with some of what you're struggling with. As a wife and parent, it is VERY difficult to juggle things and find the time to give yourself the time and space you need to catch your breath.

Is there someone nearby who might be able to help out? ie driving your son to school? You sound very upset by having to do this. Do you have parents or friends who might help with some of the domestic things while you focus on what you need?

It's so true that your family needs you to be you. Not supermom or superwife. Just you. I think you already know that.

The suggestion regarding finding a hospital or facility nearby is a valid suggestion. It doesn't mean you need to go or have to go, it just means that you know for yourself where a safe place is.

Only you can decide whether or not hospitalization is necessary. Therapy? Medication?