joeylittle
Sponsor
Consciously replace your inner response. This is actually where CBT is pretty helpful, in my opinion. But, say, the next time you tell your husband that you started your period - it's likely you'll have the inner anxiety that you mentioned. Instead of just trying to ignore it - notice it, figure out what the thought is that goes with it (could be, 'I'm afraid he's going to get mad at me'), ask yourself how much evidence you have that this husband is going to get mad at you (probably very little), and re-write the thought - 'because of my past, I have this automatic thought that my period is a problem. However, that's something that was happening in my prior marriage, not this one. My period is just a thing that happens, and I don't need to be afraid to tell him about it.'
Basically, in order to un-do prior conditioning/automatic responses, you need to replace them with new responses. And by default, those new responses aren't going to be automatic - they are going to be awkward, and you'll get tired of re-directing your own thoughts all the time...but it really does eventually work. And by eventually, I don't mean it takes five years. Things start to shift, slowly, but gradually.
