How Do You Comfort Your Inner Self?

[oneday]

Ok. so youre going into a high anxiety state and heading into a flashback how do others go about comforting your inner self. You use the tools of your T to get the anger out then slow down your heart rate, all the things to help the physical responses to reduce their impact. Then you tell yourself it's ok to feel like this and it will pass What do You do to help your hurting inner self to comfort it when there is no one around to help give you that comfort?

 

[The Albatross]

Mostly I try to reframe the experience... reprocessing it with special attention to the things I did right... sort of like putting a better spin on the end of the story than the way it "felt".

Sometimes doing something self nurturing helps... a good nutritious meal, a long hot bath, a walk at a park or some exercise, a daub of perfume... stuff like that. Something life affirming that is soothing and enjoyable?

Sometimes I just sit quietly and breathe and refute thoughts as they come up kindly without being self critical.

I'm not the best self nurturer really, but at least my inner self doesn't just scream anymore. It took a long time for my inner "child" self to stop screaming.

 

[Saria]

What do You do to help your hurting inner self to comfort it when there is no one around to help give you that comfort?

If I'm able to, I try to imagine what my therapist or an imaginary loving person would say, and try to remind myself how it feels to be comforted. If that feels too weird I try to picture my dog beside me and how he would be happy to see me, and that often helps a little bit. I think it often feels weird though, probably cause I never experienced comfort as a child. But I think of it as developing a new self-nurturing path/track in my brain that has never been used before, so hopefully it'll get easier with time.

 

[mary1979]

Usually with logic.

I'm not great at comforting, myself or others.

Question everything.
Pick it apart until it no longer makes 'sense' and commonsense has returned.

Not always effective, but about 90% successful IF its caught early.

 

[oneday]

Thank you really good ideas which I can try out. I really appreciate your time to make suggestions I shall jot these down in a book to refer to when I need. You people are awesome!

 

[SpiritFree]

I know this may sound silly. Since I am alone, I let it out by crying then off to listen calm music like Enya. There is something about her voice that is so calming and angelic.

 

[Missycat]

I listen to music, i created a playlist on my itunes just for 'me' time. My T gave me some breathing exercises which also help. I have a wonderful partner who will give me a hug and if i want to talk will listen, its odd though that even though i know she is there i can still feel incredibly alone and lost, especially when feeling anxiety etc.
Thanks for the post as there are some ideas that i will take away too.