How Do You Handle Being Called Delusional?

[Iyllsa]

Not so much of someone pointing a finger and insulting you, but when someone tells you straight that your thoughts are mere delusions fueled by anxiety and paranoia.

And if you experience hallucinations, how did you handle being told that?

 

[SophiaWisdom]

I'm following this thread b/c I want to know the answer too - I feel you and relate!

 

[Riot]

Personally, I think this really depends on the context. Like, who's saying it? If it were my shrink, that's totally a different response than say, my abuser.

 

[Deadman]

I was going to ask the context as well. Who said you were delusional?

 

[ADA Legal Advocate]

It's total re-victimizadion! Be it the shrink or an abuser. In my case I was traumatized by my abusive ex (so of course he told
Me I was delusional and insane all the time.) once I was out of the relationship and in therapy my shrink told me that my anxiety, fear, confusion and circular thought patterns was merely a bad habit I needed to break. Told me my perfectionist behaviors we keeping me stuck and that I needed to let go of what my abusive ex did "wrong" and instead be "mindful" of what I was doing "wrong" in the present.

Needless to say, this psychologist's negligent invalidation of my psychological condition that resulted from the toxic invalidation that resided at the core of the domestic abuse for which I was seeking his professional help to begin to recover from, WAS the re-victimizing-scale-tip of traumatic abuse that took me from an adjustment disorder to full blown PTSD.

Where does one suffering from PTSD turn when the truama recovery and therapitic process becomes the worst triggering agent of the disorder for in which they hope to recover from??

I have no idea. I am the one lost in that nightmare.

 

[Iyllsa]

I was going to ask the context as well. Who said you were delusional?

First my friend and then my therapist, but I don't take it as an insult. If anything, I find it very helpful/useful for me to know that my friend will be there for reality checks. I need her and I know she doesn't mean it in any way. That's just the type of relationship my friend and I have.. we try to keep it as honest as we can to each other and we are gentle/careful when needed.

She told me that my paranoia counts as a delusion. Sometimes I truly believe people are watching me through cameras, people I happen to make eye contact are noting my movement, etc.

I do experience hallucinations here and there. It used to be everyday but not so much now or not as disturbing. Even though I knew some of the stuff I saw were hallucinations, being told was like a clear sign that it was something to worry about.

I think if i'm told by anyone else though, I'd be offended because they know nothing about me. Because it's my friend, who held off saying it for a while, I appreciate it and am okay with her saying that because I am open to hear what she has to say. I know that I see things in a distorted manner and I know that there are times when I'm "too far gone" that I can't even tell, and my friend has been patient enough to be there for me and gently say that she thinks I'm not thinking too clearly.

It all has to do with wording, which is what helps as well. Her tone too. She doesn't deny what I'm experiencing. She accepts that what I'm experiencing is real so to not minimize or dismiss, but she is careful to not feed in it and finds ways to distract me.

After a long time I eventually spoke about it with my therapist along with the help of my friend to speak for some parts.

I think because of the special relationship I have with my friend, I took the news well, but I'm curious to hear how other people perceived receiving the news.

I know she doesn't mean it in any way

Sorry, typo. I know she doesn't mean it in any ill way.

 

[ADA Legal Advocate]

From my screen name, you can likely guess that I've turned to helping myself, using the federal code of law and pro se litigation to first address this as the medical malpractice its become. After recouping the monetary damages....for the lost wages, personal injuries, and the non-exhaustive list of other life altering lossea that this condition creates.... I sure hope to regain enough trust to attempt once more a chance at happiness on a safe path to healing.

Will be interested to read of anyone else has had the brutal experience of this threads topic: a painful insult-to-injury invalidation of an already extremely painful condition.

 

[Anarchy]

The accusation is fairly pathologising, whatever context it's used in.

I do use the term, in the general context that anyone expecting good outcomes from bad means (ie coercion) is delusional (and hopelessly utopian and absolutely pathological - except that unfortunately most people in the world currently hold the view that good outcomes can be obtained from that bad means).

All behaviour is understandable in every day terms, it just sometimes takes a while to work out which everyday terms.

It's in that period of confusion for the person observing someone else's behaviour that the accusation of "delusional" can arise.

And it can stick, if the observer either can't work the behaviour out, or believes that the person who is acting, is acting on the basis of incorrect information.

But that requires a "status claim"

If the accuser's status claim can be nullified, then their accusation isn't going to stick.

How to play rhetorical aikido with status claims, privilege, and Parent ego states?

 

[joeylittle]

your thoughts are mere delusions fueled by Anxiety and paranoia.

Well, I'd translate that as "you're having cognitive distortions, you're symptomatic". Anxiety is a real thing; paranoia is a real thing; they both can affect a mentally ill person greatly. Now, if I believed my thinking was not delusional...knowing that I'm mentally ill, I'd check with a few other people (probably my care providers).

And if you experience hallucinations, how did you handle being told that?

If I know they are hallucinations, then they are just a known symptom. If I know I hallucinate and I see something that I'm confused about, I'd ask someone else. But hallucinations tend to follow a theme, so generally, once you know you have them as a symptom, you know when they are happening.

My ex tried to tell me for a very long time that I wasn't depressed. I knew he was wrong, so we didn't discuss it much. My therapist has told me things about myself that I cannot see, no matter how hard I try - but he's good at his job, and so, I consider that he may be right even though I don't believe it right now.

But being gaslit is a whole different kind of situation - and if I thought something was one way, but I was being told over and over again that it was not that way...I'd go find a professional who was qualified to tell me what was real. Probably two of them, just to make sure.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I'm curious to hear how other people perceived receiving the news.

Recently I applied the term to myself, though it's not something I experience on a regular basis.

A few months ago, I was wandering around the house in the middle of the night and, who knows why, I thought we were being robbed. I swear I saw a teenage girl down the hallway. I can picture it. I realized there was actually no one there - very shortly after saying out loud, "They have better stuff across the street." (I may have been delusional, but that was smart, right?? Just tell the burglar to go elsewhere! Ha.)

So the next day, I said, "Jeez, I was hallucinating in the night. How weird." And my roommate said "No, you were dreaming."

He was more worried about the term and stigma than I was. I was almost positive what had happened was a hallucination, but I did reality-check, asking, "There was no one there, right?" To me it was a straightforward thing: I have PTSD, and that was a symptom of my illness. Whether it was specifically caused by medication, a sleep issue, whatever... It makes no difference to me to analyze and figure out *exactly* what was going on in my brain at that moment. Told my therapist, doctor, etc about it and moved on. Of course, I hope it never happens again! It was extremely disconcerting. I guess I'm used to things like dissociating and I take them in stride - so I think I could deal with this as an ongoing symptom, also, if needed.

I don't see how that is victimizing or insulting or anything other than straightforward truth. Sure, just like anything else, these words could be misused as an insult or bullying tactic, but they are real medical symptoms and terms, and it's not automatically a bad thing to be told by a health care professional or any person who is close to you and understands you are suffering from a legitimate illness. It can be very helpful to get a handle on things.

 

[Iyllsa]

To me it was a straightforward thing:

I am the same way. My friend and I focus on trying to not analyze why it's happening but to just go along with the ride. To just relax, make sure I stay safe, and then when I'm in a better mindset we can talk about it a bit more.

Sometimes I can tell I was hallucinating, but other times I really can't. I get anxious and/or paranoid. An example would be that one time while with my friend I swear I heard a young girl yell out, "Hello?" as if she was lost looking for her parents or something and she sounded a bit nervous. It didn't sound fake, it sounded like a girl really could have been in the nearby parking lot.. I immediately stopped what I was doing and turned toward the sound. I remember I felt anxious even though normally I'd be able to ignore stuff like that and not care for younger kids.

But during times like that, I get anxious. I looked around trying to find the girl but didn't see one. My friend encouraged me to continue walking and I asked, "Did you hear that? It was a little girl crying out."

She replies with, "No I didn't hear the girl." and we move on. I still feel anxious and I'm still looking around some because to me it was real and I'm convince.. but eventually my friend helps distract me. The girl was still on my mind that night and I asked my friend to confirm and she said the same thing. That she didn't hear the girl.

Other times I can tell I'm hallucinating. I'll see a cat walk around my friend's house and for the longest time she's never had a cat. She can't anyways because of her dogs. I'm able to ignore it a bit more easily than a distressed cry.

Things are definitely a lot worse without my friend around to do reality checks with. Sometimes I take pictures of things I think are weird or funny and send it to her. She figures out how "mentally stable" I am at the moment and responds appropriately. She's a real gem of a friend... I feel bad for her that I had to come across in her life.

I don't see how that is victimizing or insulting or anything other than straightforward truth. Sure, just like anything else, these words could be misused as an insult or bullying tactic, but they are real medical symptoms and terms, and it's not automatically a bad thing to be told by a health care professional or any person who is close to you and understands you are suffering from a legitimate illness. It can be very helpful to get a handle on things.

Exactly. For me, personally, it helps for someone to say, "It's paranoia. It's your PTSD. It's your OCD." because those are real illnesses and can be a disability. It tells me that it's not just something in my head and that I'm not crazy, and there's a way to get help for it. It tells me that sometimes I can't always trust my mind, despite how scary that is.. i'm really lucky to have such a supportive friend who doesn't judge me for how I am. I can be open and honest with her. She knows a lot more things than my therapist and she's the one that helped me take my first steps toward recovery.

BUT I also completely understand how that can be insulting and even damaging. To some, I think, it requires them to accept the fact that there is an issue going on and that they need help. I used to be like that when I was younger. I didn't want to admit I was depressed, had anxiety, or OCD. I was just lazy and melodramatic. I was just shy and I was just weird. I was raised being told that and I consumed those words, labeling myself with them.

Now I have these diagnoses and a friend who will talk to me about it as "a matter of factly" kind of way, and I return it to her because that's how I am as well. It's really helpful to both of us. I've had an old friend who didn't want to be told he was depressed when he obviously was. He didn't want to be called sick or ill. He would say he was being selfish since he had no reason to be depressed, therefore not making him depressed but just overly emotional. So with him I had to be careful when talking to him, and even sometimes leaving the word "depressed" completely out of it because of his strong reaction.

It's really an individual thing, I think.

 

[Twilight]

I have had emotional flashbacks, which have been called "delusional" bc the emotion I was feeling currently was actually due to a situation that happened 25 years ago, not in the present here and now.

I have also experienced domestic abuse where everyone "gaslit" me and told me no, that never happened. The abuser gaslit me, and the others were not even present at the time and were just believing the abuser's version of the story.

Life gets tricky, doesn't it? My only "sanity" comes from praying to the Most High God, creator of heaven and earth and asking for wisdom.