D
dlross
I guess the issue for me is more about my symptoms - depression specifically - has gotten worse. The problem is, is it the meds or am I going through a depression? I definitely don't think the meds are miracle pills that will make me happy, however my depression is worse, but the rages are more manageable. I'm trading one for the other and I don't think that it's supposed to work that way. :wall::wall:
I find there is no easy answer to this kind of question. To add to what I wrote earlier, those who say that 'pills are not the solution' are correct in a way. The medication I am on alllows me to reach a level of clarity, stability and energy at which I can undertake the hard work of therapy and whatever else my recovery requires.
Recently I posted in another thread, when I was having a very hard few days, my doubts about the effectiveness of my medication at that time. One of the things I am learning to do now that I have the safety net of medication and therapy, is to learn what it feels like to have 'normal' ups and downs.
So, last week, I spent a few days feeling very depressed. Because of my history I livein fear of a return to clinical levels of depression, so one of my first thoughts / fears was that the medication wasn't working. But, after I started journalling and talking about some difficult emotions that had arisen in the course of the Easter weekend, I found that the weight of pain, despair and hopelessness I was feeling lifted.
There was no problem with my meds. The problem was my bad coping skills. Suppressing a lot of hard emotions was depressing me. These are the lessons I am able to learn when I am stable and clear enough.