TimidZiggy
Bronze Member
This post is really long because there isn't a short way to explain the situation I thank anyone in advance for reading through it and for any advice they have I guess I more or less just needed to vent. If you have questions (I know this is confusing I left out a lot) just ask. I'll be more than happy to explain further.
My PTSD stems a lot from what my parents did to me. I'm adopted and the main form of abuse I went through was gaslighting. It wasn't until I was about 17 that I picked up on the fact something wasn't right and it wasn't until I was 23 that I actually came to find out what was being done to me. It wasn't until basically last month they figured out my diagnosis of PTSD (they already knew about my OCD but not the OTHER problems). However because of this my relationships have obviously suffered. I repeatedly get into bad relationships because I think "Oh this time I'll fix it" or that I'll know when to walk away because I'm not an idiot and I can tell when people are manipulative and abusive. I ALWAYS do this to myself. Now I'm in a VERY bad situation and I don't know what to do. I'll try to make it as short as possible.
Last year around February I met a girl online (then later in real life) because we did a lot of online roleplay. It turned out she didn't live far from me and we started texting and talking and really hit it off. We were just friends, close friends, for about a year (this wasn't a romantic thing but she felt close enough to be my sister).
Anyway after about a year (earlier this year) she betrays me, like utterly blindsides me with a bunch of crap that I literally never saw coming. I'll call her Sam. Anyway, I brought Sam into a group of friends I already had. Sam is an artist and one of the friends (Former friends, I'll just call her TC) at the time had a very popular website where she featured artists. Sam knew I was friends with this woman and I offered to get Sam's art on the website to be featured because Sam didn't think she was good at art and I thought it would boost her confidence. I also had this contact and I knew it would work out as Sam's art isn't bad. Once TC saw this art she was over the moon with it and wanted to really KNOW Sam. So I brought them together to meet. TC Is someone I only ever knew as an online contact even if I knew Sam in real life. TC had other online friends and we were all in this group. We'd skype voice chat every night, you know big group chats and things. I ended up going to a few conventions with Sam too. She gave me an opportunity I could have never EVER had, if she hadn't been so generous.
In this group of people was a girl I'll call Lisa. Lisa was not allowed to talk to me without TC's direct permission or knowledge. TC also for some reason convinced Lisa I hated her and was dangerous before I even knew who Lisa was (or had ever spoke to her). In voice chats Lisa was not allowed to speak to me, TC would answer for her (sometimes she was allowed to type a response). At first TC claimed that Lisa was just "Really shy" but I found out from Sam that wasn't the truth as some how Sam had become friends with Lisa, good friends, they talked on the phone all the time exchanged personal information all of this. The only person in this group who was kind of on the outs was me. The only person who defended me in this group was Sam. Keep in mind I have literally no idea why TC was of the mind I was a monster or was dangerous. As far as I'm aware she's incredibly mentally ill herself (along the lines of paranoid schizophrenia) and not being treated for it because she refuses to believe anything is wrong with her. At the time of knowing TC I did not know this about her.
TC was incredibly manipulative and controlling. She some how got people to do her bidding even though she never leaves her house. Or well, barely. She is afraid people are after her, everyone is trying to kill her, and she makes other people get her mail for her cause she thinks someone is going to send her a bomb or something. To my knowledge she's had financial control over two girls, and I watched her emotionally blackmail at least three people. She attempted to emotionally blackmail me but I'm not stupid. My father tried that on me 1000 times I know when someone is doing it. The problem was that Sam BEGGED me to be nice to TC, BEGGED me to get along with her, BEGGED me to pretend everything was normal and that TC was okay and "Just get along" because it was the "mature" thing to do. I was friends with Sara, very very good friends, so being the idiot that I am I allowed myself to put up with this woman's crap for about 6 months longer than I should have.
TC claimed a ton of things about me that were never true, that I had been harassing her for years, that I hated her, I was jealous of her, that I was 1000 things that I wasn't. Very early on it became clear to me she was my friend because she wanted to keep me in her sight to make sure I wouldn't harm her. Like I said I have NO idea where she got the idea I wanted to in the first place. Ever. I really hadn't known her that long but even the first message I sent her online she was VERY VERY scared of me. I only initially befriended her because she ran a website and I thought she had spoilers for a TV show that I wanted. She did have spoilers and after enough butt kissing she gave them to me and through all that sucking up to her I accidentally became friends with her (before I realized how dangerous she was). TC tried to convince me I was several different types of insane. Autistic, bipolar, borderline...you name it. I mean REALLY REALLY tried to convince me of these things which I know I'm not but she was adamant that she KNEW what was wrong with me and HOW I needed to fix it. When I wouldn't listen to her, or well, take her advice she started in with the guilt trips. She started to try to blame me for allegedly having seizures (I say allegedly as there is no proof she actually has a seizure disorder) but she would attempt to guilt trip me into believing that she had a seizure and I triggered it (on purpose) with my voice.
So like I said I was friends with her for WAY longer than I should have been because I wanted to keep Sam as a friend and had I told TC to get out of my face and called her on all her BS, Sam would have been REALLY upset with me so I just tried to let it go. Then earlier this year, I caught Sam in several serious lies about very serious things. Backstabbing, terrible, horrible things. Of course I was forced to drop her, and just my luck I had put up with emotional abuse from TC to try to keep Sam. So basically I found out suddenly, all in about the span of two nights that I had been manipulated for an entire year by two people. Sam manipulated me to get her art featured on a website and TC had been manipulating me for God knows what reason. But there enters into a third problem.
This girl I mentioned, Lisa, the one who was terrified of me before I even met her because of what TC was telling her...well that's a horror story I wish I didn't know. Not only did I watch her get controlled by TC, Sam relayed to me just how horrible it was. At one point Lisa went to meet TC in real life. TC was very sexually aggressive, very delusional, refused to recognize Lisa as anything other than the fictional character she roleplayed online. Wouldn't call her by her real name or even her actual gender. Lisa spent a month "visiting" her the whole time screaming and crying about wanting to come home but also not being able to because TC had convinced her that if she stayed there and did art, she could get Lisa a very very good job with a very very famous production company doing art and all this stuff. Something TC really has no authority to promise because TC is a liar. She doesn't know anyone famous and she's not official to the TV show she pretends to represent. In fact she nearly got sued a few times for over stepping her bounds. She's lucky that the production company for this show is SO AWFUL and badly organized no one really thought to take legal action.
Anyway I watched all this go down. I saw chat transcripts and text messages from Sam. Mostly because Sam has no spine and was always sending me messages "What do I do? What do I tell Lisa?" and of course I kept saying "Tell Lisa to leave, call the cops" all that stuff because it seemed bad enough, almost as if she was being held prisoner. Of course no one would listen to me, whatever. I tried to just forget about it because ultimately these are adults. After a month being sexually harassed (and possibly assaulted) by TC, Lisa comes home. She cuts contact off with Sam for a week, Sam is yelling at me "what do I do what do I do?" I'm like "I told you and Lisa not to go to visit this woman in the first place NO one listened" so it was a whole "I told you so situation". Lisa claimed she never wanted to see TC again and was going to cut her off. Whatever happened (never got details on this) Lisa wanted to file police charges against TC but never did.
Earlier this year I get word that Lisa quit her job (something she apparently was calling a dream job) to go live with TC and be unemployed under the hopes she's get a job with this production company doing concept art. Then the show was cancelled and any chance at an actual job completely vanished (not that she really had a chance before). Now don't ask me WHY but people like to report problems to me. "Lisa did this Lisa did that I can't believe Lisa XYZ" like I can do crap about it? Anyway in the span of 8 weeks Lisa went from being a normal feminine straight girl to believing she's transgender. I mean 8 weeks of living with this TC woman. A woman who seems to have a huge fetish for trans people. It seems she's talked several girls into think they are actually men (Trust me on this if I went into detail this post would be WAY too long).
I can't let go of this. I don't know TC's real name, I am blocked by everyone who would give a damn enough to listen to me. I tried contacting Sam to get her to hand over TC's contact details but Sam pretended like she didn't know what my problem was, said I was just trying to start drama, and changed her phone number even though SHE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS WORRIED ABOUT LISA IN THE FIRST PLACE AND LITERALLY MADE IT MY PROBLEM but apparently now she's totally FINE with this and thinks I'm the crazy one?
However because of the manipulation of all these people, my prior manipulation from my father, and my entire life being a big blur of "did I make this up or did it really happen" I am basically walking around in a nightmare. I have every last reason to believe just from what I observed myself that Lisa is not in a good place. Also why would Sam LIE to me about this? Why would she show me fake texts from her phone and manifest fake skype conversations to convince me Lisa was in danger? If anything wouldn't she have lied that Lisa was okay? That Lisa was safe? Why would these people do this to me? Why set up an ENTIRE FARCE to convince me one girl is in danger then abandon me? Also it's pretty clear just according to social media accounts something is wrong with Lisa and something is wrong with TC. It doesn't take a genius to notice this at a short glance.
I don't have a phone number for TC, never did, I have a P.O Box address but it's registered under a fake name and I know it's a fake name because it's the fictional character she literally believes that she is so she registered it under that name. I have no grounds to get the police to investigate anything. Though TC did make several suicide threats, without a name or address or anything I can't get the police to do anything about that. I was dragged into this situation by two people who were huge manipulators, huge backstabbers, and now I'm sitting back completely powerless. I know, I need to let it go but how? How do I let it go? How do you let it go when you are literally so completely convinced something bad is going to happen to someone? When you are watching abuse happen and you can do nothing to stop it? When you know SO MUCH about a situation that is SO BAD and NO one will listen to you and you have no power? How do you just give it up? This is one of the biggest stresses I have. I even have nightmares about this TC woman harming me or harming herself I can't get this to stop. What do I even do at this point?
My PTSD stems a lot from what my parents did to me. I'm adopted and the main form of abuse I went through was gaslighting. It wasn't until I was about 17 that I picked up on the fact something wasn't right and it wasn't until I was 23 that I actually came to find out what was being done to me. It wasn't until basically last month they figured out my diagnosis of PTSD (they already knew about my OCD but not the OTHER problems). However because of this my relationships have obviously suffered. I repeatedly get into bad relationships because I think "Oh this time I'll fix it" or that I'll know when to walk away because I'm not an idiot and I can tell when people are manipulative and abusive. I ALWAYS do this to myself. Now I'm in a VERY bad situation and I don't know what to do. I'll try to make it as short as possible.
Last year around February I met a girl online (then later in real life) because we did a lot of online roleplay. It turned out she didn't live far from me and we started texting and talking and really hit it off. We were just friends, close friends, for about a year (this wasn't a romantic thing but she felt close enough to be my sister).
Anyway after about a year (earlier this year) she betrays me, like utterly blindsides me with a bunch of crap that I literally never saw coming. I'll call her Sam. Anyway, I brought Sam into a group of friends I already had. Sam is an artist and one of the friends (Former friends, I'll just call her TC) at the time had a very popular website where she featured artists. Sam knew I was friends with this woman and I offered to get Sam's art on the website to be featured because Sam didn't think she was good at art and I thought it would boost her confidence. I also had this contact and I knew it would work out as Sam's art isn't bad. Once TC saw this art she was over the moon with it and wanted to really KNOW Sam. So I brought them together to meet. TC Is someone I only ever knew as an online contact even if I knew Sam in real life. TC had other online friends and we were all in this group. We'd skype voice chat every night, you know big group chats and things. I ended up going to a few conventions with Sam too. She gave me an opportunity I could have never EVER had, if she hadn't been so generous.
In this group of people was a girl I'll call Lisa. Lisa was not allowed to talk to me without TC's direct permission or knowledge. TC also for some reason convinced Lisa I hated her and was dangerous before I even knew who Lisa was (or had ever spoke to her). In voice chats Lisa was not allowed to speak to me, TC would answer for her (sometimes she was allowed to type a response). At first TC claimed that Lisa was just "Really shy" but I found out from Sam that wasn't the truth as some how Sam had become friends with Lisa, good friends, they talked on the phone all the time exchanged personal information all of this. The only person in this group who was kind of on the outs was me. The only person who defended me in this group was Sam. Keep in mind I have literally no idea why TC was of the mind I was a monster or was dangerous. As far as I'm aware she's incredibly mentally ill herself (along the lines of paranoid schizophrenia) and not being treated for it because she refuses to believe anything is wrong with her. At the time of knowing TC I did not know this about her.
TC was incredibly manipulative and controlling. She some how got people to do her bidding even though she never leaves her house. Or well, barely. She is afraid people are after her, everyone is trying to kill her, and she makes other people get her mail for her cause she thinks someone is going to send her a bomb or something. To my knowledge she's had financial control over two girls, and I watched her emotionally blackmail at least three people. She attempted to emotionally blackmail me but I'm not stupid. My father tried that on me 1000 times I know when someone is doing it. The problem was that Sam BEGGED me to be nice to TC, BEGGED me to get along with her, BEGGED me to pretend everything was normal and that TC was okay and "Just get along" because it was the "mature" thing to do. I was friends with Sara, very very good friends, so being the idiot that I am I allowed myself to put up with this woman's crap for about 6 months longer than I should have.
TC claimed a ton of things about me that were never true, that I had been harassing her for years, that I hated her, I was jealous of her, that I was 1000 things that I wasn't. Very early on it became clear to me she was my friend because she wanted to keep me in her sight to make sure I wouldn't harm her. Like I said I have NO idea where she got the idea I wanted to in the first place. Ever. I really hadn't known her that long but even the first message I sent her online she was VERY VERY scared of me. I only initially befriended her because she ran a website and I thought she had spoilers for a TV show that I wanted. She did have spoilers and after enough butt kissing she gave them to me and through all that sucking up to her I accidentally became friends with her (before I realized how dangerous she was). TC tried to convince me I was several different types of insane. Autistic, bipolar, borderline...you name it. I mean REALLY REALLY tried to convince me of these things which I know I'm not but she was adamant that she KNEW what was wrong with me and HOW I needed to fix it. When I wouldn't listen to her, or well, take her advice she started in with the guilt trips. She started to try to blame me for allegedly having seizures (I say allegedly as there is no proof she actually has a seizure disorder) but she would attempt to guilt trip me into believing that she had a seizure and I triggered it (on purpose) with my voice.
So like I said I was friends with her for WAY longer than I should have been because I wanted to keep Sam as a friend and had I told TC to get out of my face and called her on all her BS, Sam would have been REALLY upset with me so I just tried to let it go. Then earlier this year, I caught Sam in several serious lies about very serious things. Backstabbing, terrible, horrible things. Of course I was forced to drop her, and just my luck I had put up with emotional abuse from TC to try to keep Sam. So basically I found out suddenly, all in about the span of two nights that I had been manipulated for an entire year by two people. Sam manipulated me to get her art featured on a website and TC had been manipulating me for God knows what reason. But there enters into a third problem.
This girl I mentioned, Lisa, the one who was terrified of me before I even met her because of what TC was telling her...well that's a horror story I wish I didn't know. Not only did I watch her get controlled by TC, Sam relayed to me just how horrible it was. At one point Lisa went to meet TC in real life. TC was very sexually aggressive, very delusional, refused to recognize Lisa as anything other than the fictional character she roleplayed online. Wouldn't call her by her real name or even her actual gender. Lisa spent a month "visiting" her the whole time screaming and crying about wanting to come home but also not being able to because TC had convinced her that if she stayed there and did art, she could get Lisa a very very good job with a very very famous production company doing art and all this stuff. Something TC really has no authority to promise because TC is a liar. She doesn't know anyone famous and she's not official to the TV show she pretends to represent. In fact she nearly got sued a few times for over stepping her bounds. She's lucky that the production company for this show is SO AWFUL and badly organized no one really thought to take legal action.
Anyway I watched all this go down. I saw chat transcripts and text messages from Sam. Mostly because Sam has no spine and was always sending me messages "What do I do? What do I tell Lisa?" and of course I kept saying "Tell Lisa to leave, call the cops" all that stuff because it seemed bad enough, almost as if she was being held prisoner. Of course no one would listen to me, whatever. I tried to just forget about it because ultimately these are adults. After a month being sexually harassed (and possibly assaulted) by TC, Lisa comes home. She cuts contact off with Sam for a week, Sam is yelling at me "what do I do what do I do?" I'm like "I told you and Lisa not to go to visit this woman in the first place NO one listened" so it was a whole "I told you so situation". Lisa claimed she never wanted to see TC again and was going to cut her off. Whatever happened (never got details on this) Lisa wanted to file police charges against TC but never did.
Earlier this year I get word that Lisa quit her job (something she apparently was calling a dream job) to go live with TC and be unemployed under the hopes she's get a job with this production company doing concept art. Then the show was cancelled and any chance at an actual job completely vanished (not that she really had a chance before). Now don't ask me WHY but people like to report problems to me. "Lisa did this Lisa did that I can't believe Lisa XYZ" like I can do crap about it? Anyway in the span of 8 weeks Lisa went from being a normal feminine straight girl to believing she's transgender. I mean 8 weeks of living with this TC woman. A woman who seems to have a huge fetish for trans people. It seems she's talked several girls into think they are actually men (Trust me on this if I went into detail this post would be WAY too long).
I can't let go of this. I don't know TC's real name, I am blocked by everyone who would give a damn enough to listen to me. I tried contacting Sam to get her to hand over TC's contact details but Sam pretended like she didn't know what my problem was, said I was just trying to start drama, and changed her phone number even though SHE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS WORRIED ABOUT LISA IN THE FIRST PLACE AND LITERALLY MADE IT MY PROBLEM but apparently now she's totally FINE with this and thinks I'm the crazy one?
However because of the manipulation of all these people, my prior manipulation from my father, and my entire life being a big blur of "did I make this up or did it really happen" I am basically walking around in a nightmare. I have every last reason to believe just from what I observed myself that Lisa is not in a good place. Also why would Sam LIE to me about this? Why would she show me fake texts from her phone and manifest fake skype conversations to convince me Lisa was in danger? If anything wouldn't she have lied that Lisa was okay? That Lisa was safe? Why would these people do this to me? Why set up an ENTIRE FARCE to convince me one girl is in danger then abandon me? Also it's pretty clear just according to social media accounts something is wrong with Lisa and something is wrong with TC. It doesn't take a genius to notice this at a short glance.
I don't have a phone number for TC, never did, I have a P.O Box address but it's registered under a fake name and I know it's a fake name because it's the fictional character she literally believes that she is so she registered it under that name. I have no grounds to get the police to investigate anything. Though TC did make several suicide threats, without a name or address or anything I can't get the police to do anything about that. I was dragged into this situation by two people who were huge manipulators, huge backstabbers, and now I'm sitting back completely powerless. I know, I need to let it go but how? How do I let it go? How do you let it go when you are literally so completely convinced something bad is going to happen to someone? When you are watching abuse happen and you can do nothing to stop it? When you know SO MUCH about a situation that is SO BAD and NO one will listen to you and you have no power? How do you just give it up? This is one of the biggest stresses I have. I even have nightmares about this TC woman harming me or harming herself I can't get this to stop. What do I even do at this point?
