How Do You Prepare Yourself To Deal With The Fallout?

[Anonymoose]

Decompression time helps. I cocoon in bed with comfortable clothing, maybe some aromatherapy in the form of scented powder on the bedding, pleasant music, maybe a DVD, and some food and beverages that help me to maintain my emotional balance and energy.

 

[becvan]

There are soo many things I must prepare for. That list can be huge.

I will use an example here. I know that I must confront a person about something that is not right. Confrontations send me down hill really fast. So I carefully prepare what and how I'm going to say so as not to just blow up. I make sure that this confrontation will be at a time and place where I am not pressured by time limits or interruptions. I make sure supper is pre-made or take out is ready to go. I ensure I have no stressful tasks to complete afterwards.

After the confrontation, I give myself permission to be sick. I do not fight the fall out. If I need to sleep then sleep I shall. Run to the bathroom every three minutes. Good for that too. I expect to fall flat, to shake, be sick, exhausted, have nightmares, get no sleep, etc. And I allow it without judgement, without guilt.

I find that my fall outs are not as severe as they could be because I allow the fall out and just accept it. The fall out is always there though. No matter what. :)

bec

 

[kers]

And I allow it without judgement, without guilt.

That is such a good point. With any stressful situation, I am bound to have some fallout, no matter how well I prepare. I tend to fight it every step of the way, and get mad at myself for not being 'stronger' or 'better' when the predictable happens, which just makes everything worse. Most of the work I've done in therapy is centered on the way I criticize and blame myself not only for what happened, but for how I react to it.

Accepting the fallout is HUGE, because like you say, bec, it's going to be there one way or t'other.

 

[Cr8ingMagic]

I try to have as much fun and laugh as much as I can when I am preparing for something stressful, it allows me to approach the situation with a more positive frame of mind, which then lessens the amount of stress I feel when I get into the situation.

Also, deep breathing exercises and meditation help me feel more relaxed going into it, so the reaction ends up being less negative for me.

 

[nic]

Um...meds work for me...a nice little coctail of Ativan and Trazadone.

 

[Jade-]

Duh....why haven't I ever thought of preparing for fallout ahead of time before? I'm glad I found this old thread.