How Do You Respond To Therapist When You Don't Always Agree With Them?

[Lee2001]

I know I have had a lot of questions on therapy here! Thanks for listening:) So I have posted on here before about being terrified of my parents. I have history of child abuse, csa, vouerism, neglect and abandonment.
Anyhow you can see how I would be uncomfortable around parents, and I am working on in therapy breaking ties with them. But I am scared to do it! Scared of them harming me or family or maybe just talking badly about me. But Therapist realizes this is main reason I have not stopped my relationship with them. He says he believes "I think that they would harm me", but he basically thinks I am just afraid due to past history and thinking like I am still a helpless child. That makes it hard for me to completely trust T. Have you all dealt with this? I totally get that I very well could be just paranoid of them from abuse, but what if they were capable of bad backlash??? I need to keep talking in therapy about this and see what to do and when. Thanks for your support. This is rather hard to explain.

 

[desiderata310]

SO in therapy I am not much of a respecter of people. If I think my therapist if full of it or wrong or I just don't get it, I say so. Granted sometimes it takes a while for me to do that but I have flat out told him he was full of shit and that he was spouting psycho-mumbo jumbo bullshit. I have made him completely explain his thinking.
Maybe if you can get to the head of his line of thinking you might see you and he are saying the same thing essentially? Or maybe you'll understand that way OR maybe he will have to rethink his answer.

Nothing wrong with challenging him.

 

[FauxLiz]

depending on how I am feeling at the time, I generally call my T on the issue that we disagree on. I have also called him on it when he does something that he said he wouldn't like bringing up a topic that we have agreed will not be discussed until I bring it up. In my opinion if you don't agree, tell him. if you don't it will fester and harm the trust that you need with your T in order to heal.

 

[Eagle3]

Yep, I have no problem telling T when I think he's wrong. It's turned into some very good discussions. I've only had to give him an obscene gesture once.....but I'm very open about feeling like he doesn't believe me or we aren't agreeing on something, or I'm not comfortable with an approach on something. He listens, then depending on WHY I'm uncomfortable, he'll push through anyhow, but challenging him has always resulted in a stronger relationship. Healthy disagreement is a learned skill, and therapy is a good place to learn it. Good luck!

 

[Gs172003]

I don't say anything I just don't do what I disagree with.

 

[scout86]

It kind of depends. The longer I work with him, the more likely I am to tell him what I really think.(And he hasn't had a problem with that.)

I also had a somewhat similar situation with my parents. (Mother, mostly.) My T thought pretty much the same thing you said yours does, and he was right. But he never pressured me to make any sort of decision. He spent a lot of time helping me appreciate the difference between the past and the present. He also said that people choose to handle that situation in a lot of different ways, for a lot of different reasons. There isn't necessarily one right way to go. It mostly comes down to understanding the dynamics and what works for you.

 

[Friday]

Therapy Trick : When you don't know how to do something? Ask them :)

What should I do when I disagree with you?

Their answers can be reeeeeeeally surprising.

 

[Lee2001]

Thanks everyone! I see this is common! Well I will just bring it up in therapy and see what happens.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

@Lee2001 then post again and let us know what happened...:D

 

[Panda Bear]

I tell him that I think he's wrong.

Either we'll agree and he'll see my point of view or we won't and he'll tell me why he doesn't see it my way. Gives great detail and us very open about his side. If we still disagree, he lets it go and we see how it plays out. If he ends up wrong, he apologizes to me and asks for my forgiveness. Of I'm wrong, I'll do the same.

But as long as we are kind and reasonable to each other, and I use my words to express my dislike, then he's always welcoming of my disagreement.

If I act like an ass hole....not so much.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

"Umm I'm not sure it's like that, what leads you to believe that?" Or "what have I said that makes you think that?" <~ my go to for disagreements in therapy. I'm a creature of habit I guess. It can be very interesting to see what it is I've said that's made her think the wrong thing and it's always been enlightening.

 

[Naoru]

Yes - very common!

I asked my therapist what to do during our second meeting. :)

Typically, I question my therapist immediately ... usually jokingly but respectfully. Other things take more time and consideration prior to addressing with her. Open communication is key.

I hope it went well! :)