How Do You Write Within Forum Guidelines And Stay Connected To Your Authenticity?

[Nevermore]

Hmmm I'm not sure on this one. It's true people do express more - but everything else is missing : facial expression, human touch, connection.
I don't know, I'm old school. I can totally see the good in it all, for example, this site where everyone can see they are not alone, but there's a down side too.
Anyway, in the case of this forum the good outweighs the not so good. I know that.
And I'm glad it's here.

 

[Suzetig]

I think there can be a down side and yes we don't get the non-verbal cues that can really help communication. It's too easy to read something in a tone that possibly wasn't meant or to write something that sounds stronger than meant. It's also all too easy to judge the value of your input based on the number of "likes" or people tagging, quoting what you've written etc.

On the other side though, I've come across incredibly brave, insightful people who have really helped me think things through differently, educated me about PTSD, pointed out when I might be more symptomatic than I realise and generally kept my feet on the floor. I've felt held by people here and comforted by them at quite difficult times.

Both aspects of life online are real, and my involvement here is certainly part of my real life.

 

[The Albatross]

Trying to write/communicate online is like trying to describe a person's physical characteristics and description in the dark. Some of the finer details are lost and at best it is a very general thing. There is though plenty to be learned about that. Missing the body language, tone, facial expression, volume or modulation... yeah it is (online) "real life" but I tend to think of it as "two dimensional" rather than three... helps remind me I have a handicap and am not actually getting (often) enough information when people communicate and post.

I'm like Popeye, "I yam what I yam" and I do try to be authentic personally... warts and all. But I do try to bear in mind, that most often, there is a lot more perhaps that a poster won't choose to share. Me included, things I haven't chosen to share. Also I bear in mind that sometimes people/posters aren't what/who they claim to be... trolls, mobys or sock puppets.

Anthony says the concept of "safety" on this forum is a myth... he's right. Moderated forums are safer generally than unmoderated ones... But throwing all your personal stuff on the internet is unwise if "safety" is your priority. If recovery peer support is your priority... as mine was, then proceed with his advisory.

It's a classroom here, and my own posts have been all over the place, but that is authentically who I am at "that moment".

P.S. I got whacked with the ban stick a couple times... so I'm not quite sure I've "learned" but am learning.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

f anything, you find more real life online than you do in actual person to person contact.

"More real life online?" In this community we share things that someone with out PTSD is not likely to understand.

Time to go walk the dog, and make some soup to share at a hearth, neighbors in their 90's. They have been through everything in 70 years of marriage, wars, children, and the story of their lives. Not doddering at all, clear minds and hearts that have met grave sorrow and challenges, and great love and joy. Easter flowers blooming, and the lake flooding. Taxes problems and a leaking roof.

Appreciate the community, but no, it is no MORE real than life.

 

[The Albatross]

Perhaps more emotionally sincere would have been a better descriptor?

 

[anthony]

Raw life is probably the best descriptor.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I absolutly without a doubt can write/talk what I cant say. And it rolls into therapy, reading some of my posts and/ or threads to my therapist.

Hell, in the early days of therapy, id write something and make my therapist read it. We spent our entire session passing notes, not a word was spoken. Including "you did good, have a good week! See you next Thurs".

I had a special note book for it and read it from time to time.

I did this with my mentor in high school as well. I also had a special note book and id write something, hand it to him and he had a week to respond and he'd hand it back. I have no clue how that was never found. I read that and read the 'hints' I threw out there and feel sad they all were missed.

Anyway, the point is, here, everyone gets the true me. Both the 'programmed' me and the me stuck inside myself...or in someone else's words, my two brains.

This cant be any more raw if anyone tried. And I find it wonderful and very appreciate that there's a place online that I can 'be with' and gain support from and not have to fight my fear of people, which would over take any support anyway.

And to be able to express those hurts & fears & thoughts is amazing. Im the very quiet, trying to become part of the wall person and the one that when upset I keep it inside and stay quiet about it. I love that I have a place where I came come and just let it out. If nothing else, just that is theraputic!

 

[mary1979]

I could think of nothing worse than making an already traumatised person feel worse about themselves or their choices.

Some people have been blessed with a thick skin and can take it, so dish it out, and that's on them.

Others are hypersensitive to criticism, it can even be triggering for them so would be less likely to speak to others abruptly.

For me, if I cant find a constructive and kind way to offer a different perspective to someone then I keep scrolling.

There's definitely been times here were I've read of a persons traumatic event and thought 'wtf? Are you seriously this messed up over THAT?'
But there isn't a hope in hell that I've ever address them directly like that, after all, everyone's personal experience of trauma is relative to their environment.

There's probably those who look at my thoughts in that same light also.
And that's relative only to them.

If your comment is based only on personal bias then its unnecessary. Full stop.

Being online though does mean that if you're going to post something, be prepared for some dickhead to want to pick it apart, asshats are a dime a dozen online.