How Far Back Are You Supposed To Remember?

[Nemone]

I remember bits and pieces of things before I was about 8 years old but it always feels like it's kind of hard to put it in order and I can't help but wonder if there are any things that I don't remember from the time when my parents separated. I just remember dreaming about or actually having it happen that I came home and nobody was there so I had to go to my grandparent's house next door and I can't even remember if they were there either. I know that when I was 3 I fell off a brick wall at the place we were living and hit my face on it and I still have a scar under my chin. My mom said that when we were living at that place my dad was always drinking and bringing buddies over and carrying on, but a 3 or 4 year old wouldn't remember right? I've always thought that was pretty normal but I do have a few memories of when I was in pre-k and I remember some stuff from kindergarten I think, so maybe I'm wrong.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I remember a little before per-k, during pre-k and kindergarten. Parts of 1st grade. Then my memories almost completely stop for years. Then I only have bad memories ( I had mostly good, or comforting memoires during per-k and kindergarten).

I think for children who are constitly put in a unstable environment, it would be common not to remember. The same with traumas, some people ( and children ) don't remember all of them. I don't remember my parents fighting, my father leaving, or him beating my dog. But it all happened. I know mostly because I have a few fleeting memories of all this. And also I remember the emotions; terror, sadness, angry etc. Swiss cheese memories.

I do have that feeling that there is something that happened between kindergarten and 4th grade. Something awful. I can feel some of the emotions of that black hole. But I can't touch it...if you know what I mean? But also, sometimes your mind buries these things for your safety. Sometimes its best not to remember.

Hope I make some sense, I am a little out of it. Forgot to take my meds.

 

[Nemone]

Yeah, I think what you said makes sense. I was doing some reading about memories and what ages people start to forget and things like that. It seems like there's not really a specific age you should have your earliest memories and everyone is pretty different. I think I might ask my mom how badly I hit my head when I fell that one time though. Seems like there is some information about how mild traumatic brain injuries (concussions) can cause a lasting impact even when you grow up like emotional disturbances and anxiety problems and that sort of thing. It might have been what predisposed me to having PTSD. My dad said that he/they were trying to drive me to the hospital and they were holding a towel to my face and blood was going everywhere so I wonder if I was knocked out or what.

 

[SimplyComplex]

When I started therapy I struggled with remembering anything before 21 years old. I had a tad bit of amnesia. :) I have read that most people have a pretty good timeline with important memories back to age 4 or so. Clearer as they age. Some random or important memories as early as 2 years old.

I have worked really hard and am starting to get a timeline mapped out in my head. Its been a big part of therapy. Figuring out when/where/who/how. I have spots with memories, spots without. And then sometimes I can't remember parts of my life, and sometimes I can. Its esp like that with traumatic memories. They come and go a bit. Weird? No idea. Memory is weird.