@I am ..... I have been doing pretty intensive work like this since the fall. It felt like a silly game at the beginning, and I just went along with it because I was pretty desperate to find a healing path. In fact, until November, it never occurred to me that I suffered "trauma." Tough childhood, yes. Lots of awful experiences in life, yes. Traumatized? Me? What? Doing this therapy has begun to unpack so many things about myself that have been painful and difficult and confusing all my life.
The inner child work got very real and very serious pretty quickly. I have way more than one inner child, but I also have way more than one trauma or type of trauma. I am learning, with lots of help from my therapist and people on this forum, how to ground myself in the present and in my own body, how to stop fighting myself, how to open up and be compassionate and gentle with myself. All through working with inner child stuff.
It is intense and difficult work. I understand the tug-of-war. My inner self is like an all out war between my core self, my exiled child selves, and my other protective and managerial energies. If you are looking for resources to learn about inner child work, the best site to start with is this one http://www.selfleadership.org/about-internal-family-systems.html
They have some really good books on their site too...the newest one is called "There's a Part of Me..." Some of their books might be available through your library.
I have found this confusing too in my therapy. I think the approach is a dynamic one. The adult in the here and now needs to be grounded in the present time and space and body in order to heal the inner child/children. If they're not, the inner child can zoom in and take over with thoughts/feelings, etc. that are from the child's "reality." (I have a lot of trouble managing this). In order for the inner child to stop doing this and give some space so the adult can listen and heal them, s/he has to trust that the adult will be open-hearted, loving, compassionate and will not abandon them.
It is a bit of a dance. My therapist is always asking me if the inner child I'm working with can SEE me...can see that I am a capable and strong adult. What I discovered is that most of my inner children had no idea that I was even there and aware of their presence. So, I've been working on "updating" them...trying to get them to see me as I am now. I think this is what orienting the little one to the here and now means. At least in the kind of therapy I am doing.
The inner child work got very real and very serious pretty quickly. I have way more than one inner child, but I also have way more than one trauma or type of trauma. I am learning, with lots of help from my therapist and people on this forum, how to ground myself in the present and in my own body, how to stop fighting myself, how to open up and be compassionate and gentle with myself. All through working with inner child stuff.
It is intense and difficult work. I understand the tug-of-war. My inner self is like an all out war between my core self, my exiled child selves, and my other protective and managerial energies. If you are looking for resources to learn about inner child work, the best site to start with is this one http://www.selfleadership.org/about-internal-family-systems.html
They have some really good books on their site too...the newest one is called "There's a Part of Me..." Some of their books might be available through your library.
Yes, and yes, and yes, and yes. My poor inner children are all in shock and very needy and I am working really hard to get to the point of being able to provide them with what they need. There are self-help books that guide you in self-healing, but I don't think I could have done what I've done without my therapist...way to destabilizing. Yes, I am still living while I do this...I have a husband, two kids, and a full-time job. I have missed a lot of time from work this year though--not because of inner-child work, but because of the PTSD symptoms I have that make it difficult for me to do the public stuff I used to do and run meetings etc. Is inner-child work necessary? I feel it is for me, but may not be for others I did 4 years of cognitive therapy a long while ago, and while it stabilized me mostly, it did nothing at all to heal the trauma. This work is helping me do that.
I have found this confusing too in my therapy. I think the approach is a dynamic one. The adult in the here and now needs to be grounded in the present time and space and body in order to heal the inner child/children. If they're not, the inner child can zoom in and take over with thoughts/feelings, etc. that are from the child's "reality." (I have a lot of trouble managing this). In order for the inner child to stop doing this and give some space so the adult can listen and heal them, s/he has to trust that the adult will be open-hearted, loving, compassionate and will not abandon them.
It is a bit of a dance. My therapist is always asking me if the inner child I'm working with can SEE me...can see that I am a capable and strong adult. What I discovered is that most of my inner children had no idea that I was even there and aware of their presence. So, I've been working on "updating" them...trying to get them to see me as I am now. I think this is what orienting the little one to the here and now means. At least in the kind of therapy I am doing.
