ED My eating is out of control, how have other's dealt with this?/Overeating

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
Got to agree, excellent post @bellbird :)

And too @Mee I see it as soothing and self harm both.

Is a lot worse for me lately, aggravated by side effects of mirtazapine for sure.

But I'm aware too I'm trying to bury my head in the sand somewhat as got a lot of stress and big changes coming up. Also am dog dog dog tired of trying to pick myself up again after more abuse by Mr.

ah. And there is another factor. My father - certainly somewhat involved in childhood trauma and somewhat cantankerous- lives with us. Trying to eat when he is around is difficult for me so I find myself eating when he goes out .
I am self care/disciplining to insist on better routine for myself right now- I am making my myself eat once every day.
I don’t class my father as ‘abusive’ - ? Emotionally abusive yes. But it would be too much to say DV .

Living with an abusive partner I think would make it even more difficult to self regulate. I’m really sorry you are going through this ?

I also lost joy in cooking with PTSD- something I had loved. And feeling safe in the kitchen at all if my dad is at home . He is away for a month starting tomorrow. I am pushing my boundaries this month with a whole load of recipes that fit specific criteria - partly to eat healthily, to enjoy my kitchen but also to feel ease in my kitchen.

I know in the past meal planning always has worked best for me - and doing that over a fortnight basis not a week. Combined with lots of ‘ritual’ around eating - beautifully laid table, lit candles etc. These are all things that do not feel safe in an unsafe home.
 

NatBird

MyPTSD Pro
Hey mums sorry I'm a bit late with this....

So, as you know I struggle with eating, I can relate, especially to the binging

Thoughts...

Medical Causes?

I would get some bloods done as others have suggested - check vitamins, minerals, sugar, TH4 etc. Also being in a stressed response does leach certain minerals

Kinds of foods?

I would try to identify what kinds of foods you're craving/binging on - fats, sugars, if so, what type?

I say this because I am not a sugar person but when I am activated I go for sugars, usually in high carb vegetables or dried fruits. I've learned over the years its linked to the adrenals and levels of cortisol. Being in fight and flight requires A LOT of energy and can make me crave sugar which is very unlike me. I treat this with licorice tea which helps the adrenals and is sweet
I've also identified wanting fats is a 'mother' thing or needing protection
I share this because when disconnected from my feelings because of numbing or stuffing having these little pointers signpost me back to giving me what I really need

Making it manageable?

Can you put a boundary around the binges? This probably sounds contradictory. For example, I've been on the dried fruit and have been allowing myself some each day but reduce the amount each day too. Or whatever pattern works for you. It's just that I hear within the binging there's attempt at some soothing and regulation. This is important but I wonder if you are going to use food for while, if it can be done in a way that leaves you feeling less out of control which can kick off another spiral. Make sense

Enough?

I hear that you moved out of the deprivation but wondered if you were eating enough now? I know for me, even when I think I have stopped depriving I can have people still pointing out that I am not eating enough (whatever that is!) Point being if it isn't, with the right triggers it makes me susceptible to binging

Other approaches
I can remember when I was processing some mother stuff, I was severely craving fats and creamy things. My therapist at the time suggested I just let the item of food lightly touch or brush my lips, just to experience the contact, see how my lips responded, because often there is some charge/energy needing to be released in the lips/mouth when binging is happening. If I still wanted to I would eat the food item slowly and notice sensations, feelings. I know this sounds like some eating mindfully bullshit but actually there were many times where once I had that oral contact I didn't need to eat whatever it was, or I only needed a bit, mostly it was about the charge in my mouth/lips. I wrote about this on the forum before. I hope this makes sense

Regulation
Are you just trying to regulate mums? If this is the case, please try not to give yourself a hard time about it. I know easier said than done but we both know the shaming thoughts and feelings just keep the cycle going. Maybe it's seeing what you can allow yourself that feels 'okay enough'...

Sending support
 

mumstheword

MyPTSD Pro
There is a lot of good stuff here to go over and due to the avalache of constructive, helpful feedback here, I'll address each idea as I remember it, coz, overwhelm is happening.

Should clarify too, coz, when I started this thread I realized it's not that bad, my eating, it's just that I want, from myself, to be on a restictive, reducing eating plan, and I just haven't been able to embark on one, lately.

I have began the route to get some medical support re testing.
I have had thyroid issues, in the past, so it's worth checking out.

I have been self soothing with food and I am grieving a lack of mothering and adequate mothering, so there's that.

Creamy and rich, oily and sometimes sweet, is exactly what I've been hoeing into.
Sweetness has crept back, from being a rare treat, or being only "healthy" and or low cal sweet, like erythritol, stevia, a tiny bit of maple syryp to sweet teas with honey, dark brown sugar. Dried fruit is an addition that I've added more of lately, too.

Yes, my christmas period was hella stressy and even before that, with close-by, out-of-control fire, a visit from my dad, a miscarriage, injured offspring, and one (my oldest) had a psychotic break and finally ended up in hospital, so I need to go easy on myself, coz I've got the stress eat response and being down on myself, doesn't help.

Our food prices are set to rise from really, really, expensive to, unbuyable, perhaps, as our economy feels the effects of being so reliant on China, so, I know my psyche is fearing scarcity and rebelling against my plans to impose calorie deprivation.

I've been offsetting the guilt and shame of overeating with a pretty rigorous yoga regime, so, that's comforting.

Recently bought a big assortment of foodstuffs and cooked a giant amount for my large number of adult offspring, and I have loads of leftovers and it's not getting goobled by me, so maybe I'm imagining the problem is worse than.it actually is?

I think the worst is over. Just sharing the panicy sense of it and writing it out and asking for help seems to have mitigated the whole perceived problem of feeling so out of control with it.

I do eat, mainly wholefoods. I was raised "hippy" , vegetarian and health food conscious and its engrained now. I do eat animal-sourced food, now, though, and, yes, I have been known to binge on salad and apples and carrots and such.

I tend to avoid processed, "white" foods and source a lot of alternatives, but, they are often pricey, so it's time to adjust how I eat, yet again, to acheive affordability as well as variety and sustainability and less food-guilt.

Luckily, I am a foody "creative" in the kitchen and very creative and adaptable with what's available. It's mainly, an.issue of, avoiding emotional and habitual eating and learning to eat more slowly and methodically, as well as portion measuring.

That's all I can say, for now. Hopefully, I can respond, more personally, soon, as my brain allows.
 

mumstheword

MyPTSD Pro
I'm not doing great with my eating.
But, I'm going to try stick to a salad tonight.
I'm between T's at the moment. Hoping I can find one who can help with ED issues.

I have to wait til the 18th to see a new GP, I will go from there.
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
I'm not doing great with my eating.
But, I'm going to try stick to a salad tonight.
I'm between T's at the moment. Hoping I can find one who can help with ED issues.

I have to wait til the 18th to see a new GP, I will go from there.

This sounds like something I might try - and I gently ask - not say because I don’t know - is a salad enough? What sort of salad? Is it feeding you visually?


I made a salad with lots of beans in it on Monday and it was beautifully filling and satiating - not just physically- but it was bright colours, strong tastes, the herbs were fragrant.

Last year I discovered that according to Ayurvedic medicine my type should not eat mainly cold food. Initially I dismissed this bug thinking about it more I realised that this is something that is recurrent for me. So in evenings in particular- a salad is better for me if it’s with something warm - a grilled protein maybe, or baked potato.


I find my want is otherwise to lurch between very scant eating which feels ‘virtuous’ then what I always think of as ‘eating like a snake’ - A binge on something hot, probably not good for me and in a quantity that keeps me eating the ‘virtuous’ amount and feeling ok.


I’m trying very hard to regulate my eating pattern right now to eliminate ‘snake’ eating. I think it’s very consuming. I feel like I am meal planning or food preparing all ths time. In reality I am not. I’m channelling my ‘virtuous snake’ into helping me- Right now I am not rigidly ( because using stuff I have frozen) following an old black fast rules for the period of lent/ Passover. Tonight’s supper was according to recipe 400 kcal , plus a rice serving. But felt ‘fun’ as well as ‘virtuous’. Trying to get my ‘issues’ to become strengths ‘ seems a good possibility here.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
You need to find the food that balances you out and controls your cravings. In all the food you've eaten.. Is there one food in mind that you know of, that gas balanced you out? That would be the ?. Maybe writing a bunch of foods down, that come to mind, and then putting them in categories.

Like for me: ice cream would be an empty category.

My system want's favorite foods during this pandemic.....yeah......one night ribs on the grill, another fried chicken, another potatoes of any kind, oh...and let me not forget totally home made pizza (kinda healthy)....but I don't get hungry till 5pm....then I want to make up for it till 1pm......so very off schedule....and craving favorites during this isolation time....and no aqua aerobic trips to gym....I was going 4 times a week?and that was keeping eating in check.
 

ms spock

Sponsor
I have began the route to get some medical support re testing.
I have had thyroid issues, in the past, so it's worth checking out.
I hadn't thought of that.

I have been self soothing with food and I am grieving a lack of mothering and adequate mothering, so there's that.
That's a tricky one for me.

Creamy and rich, oily and sometimes sweet, is exactly what I've been hoeing into.
Sweetness has crept back, from being a rare treat, or being only "healthy" and or low cal sweet, like erythritol, stevia, a tiny bit of maple syryp to sweet teas with honey, dark brown sugar. Dried fruit is an addition that I've added more of lately,
I am trying to cook stuff for B and have SaaS small piece.
coz I've got the stress eat response and being down on myself, doesn't help.
Nope out makes me worse.

Our food prices are set to rise from really, really, expensive to, unbuyable, perhaps, as our economy feels the effects of being so reliant on China, so, I know my psyche is fearing scarcity and rebelling against my plans to impose calorie deprivation.
I have vegetable gardens now so I can harvest and easy fresh. I am thinking of trying micro greens.
I've been offsetting the guilt and shame of overeating with a pretty rigorous yoga regime, so, that's comforting.
Good strategy.

Recently bought a big assortment of foodstuffs and cooked a giant amount for my large number of adult offspring, and I have loads of leftovers and it's not getting goobled by me, so maybe I'm imagining the problem is worse than.it actually is?
Good insight you are improving.
I think the worst is over. Just sharing the panicy sense of it and writing it out and asking for help seems to have mitigated the whole perceived problem of feeling so out of control with it.
That's a useful insight.
I do eat, mainly wholefoods. I was raised "hippy" , vegetarian and health food conscious and its engrained now. I do eat animal-sourced food, now, though, and, yes, I have been known to binge on salad and apples and carrots and such.
I eat extra Kale and salads with home made salad dressings or lots of fresh herbs frim the garden: mint, lemongrass, basil, etc. You can grow coriander indoors.

I tend to avoid processed, "white" foods and source a lot of alternatives, but, they are often pricey, so it's time to adjust how I eat, yet again, to acheive affordability as well as variety and sustainability and less food-guilt.
We are all adjusting to the changes.
Luckily, I am a foody "creative" in the kitchen and very creative and adaptable with what's available. It's mainly, an.issue of, avoiding emotional and habitual eating and learning to eat more slowly and methodically, as well as portion measuring.
Me too.
 
Top