Thanks again everyone. You guys are fantastic for sensible and good advice - I'm following you all now because you have all helped me. ((((hugs))))
I have been given some anti depressants but I don't want to take them. I just have to think about it. I have learned so much information about them that I have hated medication for a very long time. I really don't know what to do. I am giving myself time to consider it.
Rainy-daze, if you read back through this post, you've taken control of getting what you need. And you've put in a lot of effort to keep going while you're waiting to get that.
I'm still trying to take control. At least I know now that I really want to live, and I need to start looking after myself properly. I have been letting my illness destroy me, yet I have always been stronger than that. Thanks also for the link Meadowsweet :) .
[I hope I am using this "@username" correctly to reply to a person - I ended up quoting too much (I got distracted because I normally edit a quote as much as I can), then I got a warning :( , but I don't always understand how forums work! I have never used anything like this before. So I'm trying; let me know if I'm doing something wrong in replies please, I strive to obey the rules on here.]
@bethinfx: I have an appointment to see my old Counsellor, but I am still thinking I should end that. I have a few reasons; I think another client deserves her support, I think she has given me all the listening/support she can, I think it is time I had some practical based therapy rather than talking, I am maybe too close to her (if that makes sense; I've told her so much I don't know what more there is to say). I am going to discuss this all with her though. Re The Psychologist - I won't be diagnosed as anything else I don't think, as I had an original diagnosis of severe PTSD and severe Depression, which is still diagnosis I have, except she said other things about the PTSD I didn't get and I am unsure where I am on the depression scale, but by now, I would hazard a guess at severe. That is horrible that happened to you, and I hope you have found something that works better. Namaste to you also.
@Ayesha: I know you did not mean to upset me, of course you didn't. I said in a different thread earlier, I tend to be overly sensitive and I think that's just my PTSD. The hospital thing just triggered me, and I really wanted to be more centred before I posted a reply. I respect you a lot on this forum because you do seem very "to the point"/honest about your opinions and that is a good thing. I have a self help book here at home I am going to give a try, if I can concentrate. It isn't aimed at PTSD, but if it is any good I will post about it somewhere.
@712xx: I did like some of your rainbow vomit ;). Joking. I think that bridge is going to take a long time to build. I am having to do it by myself. I love my family, but they can really only do so much. Same with therapy. Same with this forum. The combined support of the people who love me and having this forum as an outlet (and valuable source of help) will keep me going and give me the drive to help myself. It has to come from me but depression tries to weigh me down. Thanks for the picture, big help - I am thinking about some Omega3 too. My diet is very poor just now. Always has been actually.
