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Friday
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How long does it take you to fall asleep?
- Normally?
- When your PTSD is acting up?
I have ADHD, which means it usually takes me 1-3 hours to fall asleep, unless I am utterly exhausted, bone weary. That’s completely normal/expected for the disorder I was born with, although I understand most neurotypical people fall asleep within minutes of deciding to… and on certain stimulants I can fall asleep within minutes, as well, it’s a bizarre thing to experience. As it’s not my normal. Also, that the sleepy-drugs are called “stimulants” I find eternally amusing.
I know maaaaaany people, IRL, who think 20 minutes of not being able to fall asleep has completely f*cked them (and their day/week/life) over… so I’m grateful in a lot of ways, that my normal is 1-3 hours. Because when PTSD decides to thunk itself down for a visit? I’m up for daaaaaays. Zombie-Friday, sleeping twice a week for a couple hours at most? Or surviving on catnaps? No fun. Vexing as hell. Needing immediate sorting. And dontevengetmestarted when those catnaps are nightmares. Fawk. Fawk me. No. Nope. Hard pass. Don’t get me wrong, I can DO it, but it’s brutal.
So what does “good” sleep look like, for you? What does “bad” sleep look like, for you?
Just to be extra clear? This is nooooo kind of judgement call or oppression olympics. WHATEVER normal/good sleep is to you? IS GOOD. Full stop. I’m simply curious how PTSD f*cks whatever our baseline is, when it decides to thunk itself down for a visit. That’s going to look different for different people. My own baseline is already wacky, as I’m comorbid. As are many others, in many different ways. As many are not. But whatever our “normal” (good/better/best) IS? PTSD seems to say…. f*ck you. Deal with THIS. How annoying/infuriating IS that? Hilt, I’d say. As it takes normal and… annihilates it.
- Normally?
- When your PTSD is acting up?
I have ADHD, which means it usually takes me 1-3 hours to fall asleep, unless I am utterly exhausted, bone weary. That’s completely normal/expected for the disorder I was born with, although I understand most neurotypical people fall asleep within minutes of deciding to… and on certain stimulants I can fall asleep within minutes, as well, it’s a bizarre thing to experience. As it’s not my normal. Also, that the sleepy-drugs are called “stimulants” I find eternally amusing.
I know maaaaaany people, IRL, who think 20 minutes of not being able to fall asleep has completely f*cked them (and their day/week/life) over… so I’m grateful in a lot of ways, that my normal is 1-3 hours. Because when PTSD decides to thunk itself down for a visit? I’m up for daaaaaays. Zombie-Friday, sleeping twice a week for a couple hours at most? Or surviving on catnaps? No fun. Vexing as hell. Needing immediate sorting. And dontevengetmestarted when those catnaps are nightmares. Fawk. Fawk me. No. Nope. Hard pass. Don’t get me wrong, I can DO it, but it’s brutal.
So what does “good” sleep look like, for you? What does “bad” sleep look like, for you?
Just to be extra clear? This is nooooo kind of judgement call or oppression olympics. WHATEVER normal/good sleep is to you? IS GOOD. Full stop. I’m simply curious how PTSD f*cks whatever our baseline is, when it decides to thunk itself down for a visit. That’s going to look different for different people. My own baseline is already wacky, as I’m comorbid. As are many others, in many different ways. As many are not. But whatever our “normal” (good/better/best) IS? PTSD seems to say…. f*ck you. Deal with THIS. How annoying/infuriating IS that? Hilt, I’d say. As it takes normal and… annihilates it.
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