Poll How Many Of Your Have Made Your Family/friends Aware Of Your Issues/treatment?

[Cool Cat]

Most close family, though, were either abusers or deniers as I was growing up

my family were experts in minimizing abuse, incl. death threats, for years,

I don't feel safe disclosing, anyhow, a lot of the time. Some people feel it is a political issue to disclose I guess.

Can agree with a lot of what you say especially RE family and friends minimising. I was always stunned as a child at the minimising responses I got talking about bullying. I used to hear things like "That's not even bullying! They have to be hitting you EVERY day for it to be bullying". Or "that didn't count because it was funny"

making the accusation.

Yeah accusation is a good way of putting it. I almost feel that by disclosing I would need to have my claims backed up in a court of law!

saying "PTSD" brings up the BS they hear in the media about it and just react in fear.

Yeah one thing that holds me back is almost feeling 'dramatic' by saying I have trauma. It took me about 3 months of therapy to finally accept it without arguing.

he answered, "I'm afraid that now you've told me, you're going to expect me to take care of you."

wow that's cold!


I think theres a good bit of media surrounding coming out with depression/anxiety/bipolar etc but from the variety of answers it seems to be a completely different game with trauma. Like with other mental health problems you can do they whole "it's hereditary" "brain chemistry" "it's no ones fault" but trauma happens for a reason.

 

[Friday]

Nope! :D

None of the above. Out of apx 7 years, there are simply about 5 of them I never talk about. Ever.* I'll talk about being home on Leave, or I'll talk about living in this country, or travelling to this country, but I don't talk about what I did, why, where, etc.

* I have sometimes whipped out trauma stuff in order to help someone who was dealing with something acutely, mostly strangers, or in a dick measuring contest when it served a purpose... But no. I don't tell family, or friends I didn't serve with and don't already know.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Sometimes, I scratch my head at how many things I thought was important to hide &/or perhaps my friends. I have a lot of friends that were terrified to express their sexuality, that they had a nose job, changed their last name to sound more American to get hired quicker, afraid to mention a divorce (in the mid 50's, 60's,70's), afraid to talk their native tongue, afraid to be____(the list is endless).

At some point, a lot of my inner circle & myself gave away our rights, freedom, & honesty out of fear of reprisal. Silenced voices can not offer empathy to those whom suffer, coach someone through or ask questions from others. So it is with great appreciation that I offer thanks for all the openness and shares.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I told a good friend, then I told my children. I had to explain why I trembled constantly. Many years later my daughter came to therapy with me. We booked a two hour appt. she had many questions and concerns. Our relationship has improved tremendously. My son knows about my CSA and assaults later in life.
Two friends have known and have been my safest supporters. I owe them my life. One called every day during my emergency time when I could no longer stuff this shit deep inside.
My family of origin is populated by bullies, narcissists, rapist. They know but ignore me. My mother totally minimizing the damage it caused. I know they all get together for family dinners but I'm never invited. They invite my children. When I told my mother, she was not upset nor caring. I have never spent much time with any of them. If I have to see them they bully me and make fun of me. I wish a family of gorillas had run off with me.

 

[Friday]

@Recovery4Me ... I don't not-tell out of fear. I don't tell out of a combo of it's no one else's business, and there simply isn't any reason to talk about mass graves, what grenades do in crowds, dead babies in oil barrels, Colombian neckties, rape camps, kidnapping for ransom, etc. Not in this part of the world. It's simply outside of most people's ken. Since it's not inside their sphere of experience, even the funny/touching stories are horrifying to them, much less the bad ones. Without that common ground, there's almost no good reason to talk about it, and with that common ground there's no need to.

 

[judypieking]

I probably tell way to much.. People don't really want to hear it and they are like seriously its from so long ago why cant you just let it go.. they do not get our illness... I can now tell my mom everything but I choose not to because she was so abused her self I would rather spare her whats going on with me unless I have to....

 

[Recovery4Me]

@FridayJones actually I commend you, with what you have seen hanging out with civies on the board and often allowing the softer side (with caustic wit but of course). Most of the WWII's,on forward groups that I've known had a rough time of transitioning. *(Yeah that's how I knew your Latin..:clown:)

What I mean for me is- like my photo, you know. Just being present, saying to my adult son, the acronym and that's what I have. Offering,"Hey son, I want you to go to therapy because kids who grow up with their parents having PTSD can exhibit secondary weird arsh symptoms. I'll pay before your kid is born, ok?"
Stuff like that.

FridayJ, however, you gotta know anytime you do want to talk man...I will listen. No sh$t, always...just so you know. Where the h3ll is the beer clinking cheers emo?

 

[sun seeker]

wow that's cold!

Amazing it took me 15 years and my friend's reaction to see it that way, isn't it? It's not just in childhood that we believe everything our families tell us apparently...

 

[Tanishq]

I think this family will never come to know me. They had a chance 2 years ago, but since I have learned about their real faces I won't. I think I will go down as unknown boy of the family. I don't mind. As a kid, I was interested in them, but they never paid a little healthy attention towards me and now as an adult I can handle most of things.

I think some people will know as the unseen future awaits for me and I wish to share with only few people. Sorry, not going to share if the common ground is not same or the person is not more higher than me. PTSD is real heavy concern. Anyone can get freaked out instantly or may not get it at all. Like you all mentioned many times in this thread politely.

 

[somethingsomething]

I wouldn't say it's been a bad experience...but I don't care for it. I really don't like talking about it, and though I know I should...I just...can't. I think it's easier with my friends than it is with my family actually.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I don't hide it because if I hide it then it just brings on more shame. I am on disability and if I hide the PTSD then I hide the disability and it leads to even more isolation. I am open and honest with people about it. No, I don't go shouting it from the rooftops, but I don't try and hide it away either. If someone is in my life, then they know about my situation.

I haven't told anyone on my mom's side of the family. I'm their black sheep loser cousin who isn't doing anything with her life. Eh, screw them. They are unempathetic narcissistic self-centered fools and I wish to have nothing to do with them. People on my dad's side of the family know, and they're supportive. So yeah, it is a matter of only telling those who you feel comfortable with sharing this type of information.

My friends all know. I don't have a lot of friends, but they know my situation. If they judged me for it, I'd give them the boot. Nobody needs judgmental friends.

Most guys have been supportive. I tell them and many are unfazed by the disclosure. I get a "its not a big deal" sort of response. In a way I like it because it lets me know that they aren't scared away by my disorder. (At least not at initial disclosure.) I had one female friend respond with "ME TOO!" after I told her. I was like uhm, OK, I just revealed the biggest most serious thing in my life and you act like its some sort of elite club. OMG I should have known better as this person is a drama queen who will do anything to center the attention on herself. Unfortunately she's stuck in her healing and hasn't progressed.....me thinks she likes the PTSD identity a bit too much.

 

[Zef]

Voted yes on all three.

Reactions have been mixed, but mostly supportive. In fact, the main negative is that some people just don't know how to be supportive and their attempts at being supportive actually make symptoms worse. I can generally laugh about it a few hours later.