This is confession time for me. I was married for 29 years to a man, a good man, but who was not a good fit for me. I knew it going in, but back then, being married was more important than finding your one true love. He is normally shy, quiet, and retiring in front of other people and I am just the exact opposite. We married young and had had no "relationship" along with the "privileges" of such a relationship with anyone else before we got married. As a result, we both found it hard to grow in ourselves in a natural way. We were always constricted by each other. And I think my ex was more constricted by me than the other way around. Mind you, we had a relatively peaceful co-existence but I was terribly lonely and longed for a companion and to have that feeling of being "in love", which I knew I did not have with my husband. It was like the blind leading the blind, neither one of us knowing much of anything about how to be a couple. I eventually came to the conclusion that my wanderlust was a part of this mistake on my part to marry a man I knew was not a good fit, so I asked for and got a divorce. I could not continue to feel like roving yet stay married. It was not right or good. So I admitted that I wanted to end our marriage. It was, if one ever is, a good divorce with no contention over "stuff" at all. Since that time I have found my perfect fit and my ex has grown tremendously in his personal life and understanding of himself, including understanding the good and not so good parts of himself. I have learned that I can indeed be a one-man girl and I now know what being "in love" feels like.
We remain friends and talk over the cell about once every two months or so. We have three children together so we talk about the kids as well. Anyway, he seems much better without me as his partner.
I don't know if any of this helps you or not but I wanted to relate my experience of wanting to move in a different direction away from a good man. And it turned out to be for the best for both of us.
