Nope. Being responsible for your triggers means you understand what they are, so that you can make a plan for handling your response, Instead of trigger = emotion= trashing the room you learn thatAm I responsible enough for my triggers that I should not be asking for outside assistance? Is that rude?
trigger = emotion = you doing something that helps you feel better, like taking a deep breath or going for a walk or telling yourself it will be ok
Yes.When my mother or aunt does something that is a trigger for me, and I ask them to stop. Is that on them,
If I'm afraid of dogs and my hubby chases me around the yard with a rottweiler is that on me or on him?
Let's say I've told him dogs scare me - and his response is to not only disregard my fear as meaningless but then do something to make my fear worse. What does that say about him? What kind of person intentionally causes pain in someone else? Does it make me weak or make him an asshat?
Should I have just toughed it out and not told him I'm afraid of dogs? Well -- just having to ask that question tells me what our relationship is like. I know that he cares so little for me that I can't tell him when something makes me afraid because he wont care and he might even do something to make it worse.
So then the question becomes -- why would I keep him in my life? Or if he had to be in my life what other options could I take to keep my sanity? My first instinct? Every time he brings a dog into the room I leave it. Because I don't have to let him keep triggering me. I can choose to walk away.
That's managing my trigger - not his response. He can be part of the problem but I can find a better solution - even if that means leaving the room.
Oh hun -- you not only missed the good lessons but the ones you did learn were wrong. :hug: :(I think I missed a childhood lesson or something somewhere.