How Often Do You Dissociate?

[GWhizz]

I can't really answer this myself as I'm not always sure when it happens.

But today my T asked me to spend the week compiling a baseline list of where I'm at with things like sleep, self-harm and dissociation. She wants to be able to use this info to measure our progress so we can see which strategies are helpful.

I'm just struggling to actually account for dissociative moments as it's random and depends on triggers etc. I was able to say I've dissociated this past week but I honestly don't know if I could identify every occasion.

Just feeling confused right now

 

[Ronin]

Aside of always being D.I.D. (which I'm aware could count for 'always dissociate'), and always being ADHD (ditto to that) - several times a day (counting daydreaming into that).

It's when I lose more than half of a day for more than three days in a week or when I can't point that to current abuse & triggers going on that I start worrying, personally. I relate to this whole being very hard to put into not confusing timeline.

 

[Sideways]

I don't know that I could answer that even if I was keeping track.

I know that I dissociate to some degree usually multiple times a day, because I keep a list of everything I've done each day, and by the next day, I don't remember doing a lot of things on the list.

Sometimes I'm pretty aware: that was a full on derealization trip, or that was an alter just did my appointment with my T for me (grrrr). But for the most part, it's a bit like asking "how much of the day don't you remember?" Well, I could make a guesstimate, but since I can't actually remember, it's guesswork at best.

I do stuff that I know will be grounding for me throughout each day. So I guess it might be easier to start there and work backwards. Like, how much of today was I really "present" for?

But I also just have a really crappy memory (typical depression issue). So all in all, I could probably make a note of the dissociative periods that were really obvious to me, but it's still just kind of stabbing in the dark.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

When I was at an in-patient facility, they had me keep track of where I was/what I was doing every 15 minutes on a chart. I couldn't remember to do it, so the deal was that I could mark it on the spot in one color, if I was back-filling I could use a different color, and when I truly didn't remember it was left blank. I did it for several days to get a baseline and look for trends. Maybe something like that would help you.

 

[Ronin]

Thank you for the idea @JEKBreatheandBelieve - also found it useful.

Also, thank you for the word 'back-filling'. It's rather fitting.

 

[Ellabella44]

several times a day depending on what I am doing.

I see myself doing some things my neutral self doesnt remember much of.

For instance when answering phones at a recent job, I felt like I slid backwards and someone who knows how to take customer orders for a florist shop did the work. I havent worked for one for nearly 20 years, but somehow the how to do it is still there.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

All the time?

Anymore, I have no idea what grounded even means for me. Like, which version of myself is the version that is tethered to reality? I feel like they can't all be.

 

[Friday]

After misplacing about 6mo a couple years ago, I did a baseline of where I was at once I "woke up". Avg then was about 10 hours a day in flashbacks or disassociation. This was right when I joined the forums, here.

12mo later, avg was about 5 hours a day.

6 mo later. avg ranges from 0-10 (aka a f*ckload of variability). Tends to run 0, 5, or 10 depending on my stress levels. I'm starting to lose more time, again, going days/weeks @24/7, but I'm also having a helluva lot more 0 days. So it's a bit erratic at the moment.

 

[Lullaby_Blue]

Every day. multiple times a day. Recognize your triggers and you will be more aware

 

[GWhizz]

Every day. multiple times a day. Recognize your triggers and you will be more aware

I know my triggers for the most part. But they're not entirely avoidable. Such as my kids, playing with them, changing a nappy etc - that can be enough to set me off. I just don't always notice. Like I lose track of time and it's not as if my toddler or baby are going to always let me know I haven't been present.

I guess I'll just go with daily rather than trying to name every event for now. Hopefully as I develop enhanced grounding skills I'll be more aware of it.

 

[Lullaby_Blue]

I know my triggers for the most part. But they're not entirely avoidable. Such as my kids, playing with...

Sometimes that is all you can do. Baby steps. The more you deal with dissociation the more ways you find how to deal. I'm currently half dissociated at a family of 16 dinner. Sorry if this message don't make sense.