Okay, move yourself out of this scenario.It doesn't appear to be stressful at the time. But you've given me food for thought about the dynamic of being in inner turmoil and not being able (my whole life) to express this.
Some other kid, a child, who has a loving and supportive mother. She is ‘safe’. But because of the trauma the child is experiencing, their child brain believes “she can’t know any of that…”.
That’s a shitload stressful, right? The amount that child buries every time they interact with their own mum is impossibly huge.
So as that kid grows up, even starts therapy and working through their trauma - at what point have they actually changed that dynamic with their mum? Possibly (often) never. There mum is the same mum they’ve always had, their relationship has developed, but is still founded on the same dynamic they had with her as a child.
If they learned to dissociate, to deal with that stress (to protect their relationship with their mum), they’ll keep doing that, yeah?
If it was serving you as a protective strategy, you may have never had a reason to abandon that strategy, or learned how even if you wanted to.
Yeah, a lot of things.Do you have a specific thing you do, or practice plan which you do to manage this?
I wash the dishes every morning, because it gets me grounded (works for me!). I use music throughout the day (specific playlists that have evolved over time). I have a pack a day mint addiction (for real!).
I’ve tried shiteloads of grounding strategies over the years, finding the ones that work is a bit of a mission. When I started out, like a lot of people, I carried a grounding kit in my handbag (mine had mints, a piece of rose quartz, origami paper, some lavender oil, a fidget spinner, etc etc!!) which helped me figure what senses got me grounded the quickest. Beyond that? Is was practice. It’s a skill I need to call on when I’m strung out and not coping. So I need to be pro at it for it to really be reliable. That’s okay, though, I get a little better every time I practice, and that alone is helpful.