How succesful are you in your career?

[Anana]

(Sorry for bad English)
Well, actually the problem is like this: after the end of long term abusive marriage I on the one hand acquired lots of "consequences " that make my life miserable but on the other - I have found my true passion. To help people. And i have made some good progress in it but because of dissociative episodes often I loose good opportunitues or don't finish what was planned. And now starting new project I am very uncertain what to do. Either to choose simple and not interested job or to risk and achieve the desirable.
So my question is: how do you manage(if you do) to work more or less stable? And is there anybody who is succesful (but not having it by all costs and additional struggling and suffferening ) . Any feedback will be apreciated

 

[ILoveLife]

@littleoc said I'm a success so I feel that I can answer this. :D

how do you manage(if you do) to work more or less stable?

By taking time for myself, lots of self care with it and handling one thing at a time.
When instability is overwhelming and functionality is low, I take all the help that I can get. That means special accommodations sometimes, but not often.
I feel working helps me keep stability, at least keeping an exterior mask of stability since I have to deal with new clients every week.

And is there anybody who is succesful (but not having it by all costs and additional struggling and suffferening )

I'm sharing a business with my mom.
I do most of the work involved.
I consider this a success, giving that I always worked menial jobs to pay bills. Now at least it's a family business which I'm in charge of.
I do work with that in mind, but at the same time I deal with it the same way I always did.
Professionalism, and being able to not take every mishap personally, are essential.

Could be better money wise. So if you mean successful as in loaded with money than no, I'm not the one to ask.

 

[MyWillow]

I have lots of skills but I’ve had trouble finding my niche and settling into a role. I’m crap at asking for what I need. I was ready to quit work last week after 2.5 years (bit of a pattern) and was in tears talking to my boss (CEO). He offered me a $20K pay rise there and then and sorted out some other shit I’ve been dealing with. It was surreal. I can’t really talk about my work as I’m the only person in the world doing this role. So a bit identifiable lol. But yeah senior exec with an animal behaviour twist.

Currently I’m contracted 2 days/week and being paid to work 3-4. Honestly trying to just keep my head above water as the triggers for my deterioration started when I got this job and had a work accident.

I’m generally good at packing my shit into a box but it’s leaking out of late. Awkward much.

 

[Anana]

@Sietz It sounds as you really managed to arrange things to work on you . Great! And that is wonderful you have a person who supports you (your mom).
@MyWillow yea, like you I have also good and different skills but when things are overwhelming i become like robot with no brain and no skills and that is the worst when even at work there is smth triggering you. And then you feel completely incompetent of anything

 

[Friday]

Ive been both very / moderately successful... and completely non-functional / unable to work.

I’m not usually smart about that second piece. I’m the kind of person who tends to drop very suddenly, like a rock. From 6&7 figure comfortable with layers of backup plans and safety nets... to nothing. No cash, no credit, no assets, and because of the kind of work I do/180 degree turns I’ve made in my life? No job history. To date, every time I’ve had to start over? It’s been from scratch. I really tried to avoid that, this last time, but it didn’t work or so hot. On the upside... I keep f*cking up in new ways?

A lot of it comes down to luck; having phenomenal people in my life, great opportunities I’m able to go after, jobs that are exciting, and driving / a reason I want to get out of bed in the morning and that help challenge / focus me, give me purpose.

The piece that isn’t luck? Seeking ^^^ that ^^^ out. Actively looking for people I want in my life, and work I’m good at, and being able to see/jump on opportunities as they arise.

Still needs luck.

No matter how well I’m doing? Sometimes.. If it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any at all. The people simply aren’t there. The jobs aren’t there. Or -worse- they are but I can’t rise to meet them. And if I’m not doing well but doing badly? Goodnight Irene.

 

[Anana]

@Friday, thanks for sharing your experience! There was particularly good point about opportunities. I guess because of realizing how much we lose when we are "out", we are more motivated and more willing to grab the opportunities when we are "here and now".

 

[Changing4Best]

I have been working this job for a little over a year now. I take care of elderly people. Mostly my job is to keep them safe and not feeling lonely. I feel good about my job and my bosses have said I am doing a good job. I am up for my first evaluation soon, so I will know for sure then if I am doing as well as I think I am. Chances are good that I am though, as I have had no major complaints. Also, I did get a nice letter of recommendation from one of my client's family. That was so nice!

I have had many years of therapy, including Trauma Therapy, so that has been very helpful too. I am also on medications. Those help a real lot! So I do not dissociate much. I do get tired sometimes though, as one of my meds can make me sleepy.

 

[Ronin]

These days, none career to speak of. Unless f*ckup With Moderate Grace is one, then succesful. :)

Went over this with a bunch of therapists over the past months. They kept pointing out it is not all nilch and failure at work, or even out of work, for that long. The thing is, if I am not doing things I like doing (and feel useful at, copathetic with how I think and what I believe in) and with people I (think I can) trust at the time, it could not matter less how paid I am, or otherwise well off. Does not click. Heart not in it and head not in the game, not thinking a way through obstacles I like, not in it at all.

Shrug. So I try to think of the average joe bread on the table tonight worries, and still could not care less. In my mind there aint a future beyond a week ahead, tops. Hard to answer interviews with honesty, integrity, and all that other bullshit, when nothing of the future I want to be in exists.

Things I do for distraction, arts? Unsuccesful, measured by formalities. Which also is not why I do them, or am anywhere near that sphere, so all is good on that round.

 

[Anana]

@SpiritSong , yes, that is awesome feeling when you help people,so I'm happy that you like your job and good at it. As for therapy -you 've done a big way and your results are inspiring.
@Ronin, sorry to hear that (( and it is so familiar to me... but i still try to believe it won't be always like this

 

[Suzetig]

Work is a hugely stabilising influence for me - it gives me routine, focus and helps me feel worthwhile. I’m considered successful in my chosen career, I’m financially stable and my work life has been stable for the past few years. It’s not always been like that and I do have a good system of practical and emotional support to keep me steady in my work which hasn’t always been there. But just now, it’s good.

 

[ABKD]

I like my job a lot and it helps me to get Some routine. I recently changed job because I couldn’t manage the stress in my previous job anymore (too stressfull woeling environmenr).
I now tell colleagues about things that are diffucult for me. They all try to help me finding a solution! Besides that, when I feel that I can’t manage it anymore, I make an appointment with my t or pdoc.

 

[Anana]

@Suzetig, @ABKD Thanks for sharing positive experience! And that is awesome that you have support, those people who support you im sure are incredible). But then I have a question (or perhaps it is better to start a new thread ..) are there any chance to be successful without support? Sometimes I really worry that there never will be anyone to make a family with. And how do you manage to share your "secret" with colleagues, with love partners . It is freaking me out when I'm thinking of future relatioship. I want them badly but the same badly I'm upset he will go having got to know my "peculiarities "