How to Deal With PTSD and Move On?

[amelia18]

The vivid flashbacks. The variety of phobias. The anger and sadness bursts.

No one around me will ever understand, THIS has changed me as a person forever. My family just wants the old girl back. My friends hate me.

And then there's the failed attempts to overcome, that just end up making things worse; abusing drink, alcohol, weed. Socially withdrawing or overdrawing. Telling people everything and then locking it all away. Self harm, suicide thoughts and planned attempts.

But worst of all, I'm scared of him. Every time I leave my house, I dread seeing him or anyone that I can relate to him and the time we spent together. And whenever someone brings him up in conversation it adds to the anger building inside of me. Any song, smell, voice that may remind me him makes my heart stop and I literally can't breathe or function.

I've had couselling, tried to move on. Any advice?

 

[Deleted member 541]

Yes........My advice....Keep working at therapy... You have to talk about what happened to you, as awful as that may sound, and it's probably the one thing that you don't want to do......But, it's the only way to move forward.

By stuffing the trauma, you do nothing to heal it. By bringing it to the surface, talking about it, writing about it, you face it, desensitize yourself to the trauma. It isn't easy, it's not fun, but it does work......

 

[Manic11]

Dear Amelia,

I agree with She Cat. Keep going with the therapy! It is hard and it may even get a little bit harder but it always gets harder before it gets better. And joining this forum, starting this thread is also another step! So good for you! Keep it up and don't give up.
You deserve to heal. We all do.

I wish you the best.

Manic

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

I have to agree with the prior comments. Sounds like you need to continue with therapy. Please don't try to stuff it down. I did this for many many years - and eventually it definately all came back up at once -

 

[Noone.]

Hi Amelia.

When I was a little boy, I would go on road trips with my father who is a great man.
I remember him always playing Dream Weaver the song, like all the time.
I would hear that song at times when I was getting older and it always reminded me of my Dad.
Now that I'm a father I too play that song on trips with my son and I have heard it so much that when it comes on it no longer reminds me of my father but it reminds me of my son.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can change the way you think and that in
turn will change the way you feel.

Take care.

FIRE.

 

[Ursa]

Hello Amelia,

The process of working in healing from PTSD is what I just said: a process. It takes long time and requires a lot of work in the trauma. Like some deep wounds, it does not heal without a painful scar. But it does become a scar if you are willing to work on the healing process.

Each step is small: avoid drinking during a party, taking a walk, pacing yourself with a cup of tea on the porch, talking about what happened with your therapist... Each one of those small things contribute to the overall situation. Yes, at some times it is really painful but know that working on the issues, as times goes the pain starts to get less and less frequent.

Go to therapy, be kind to yourself, get near kind people... We need help along the road.

Take care.

 

[Blues in NYC]

I agree with everything the folks above have said above.

One thing I'd add to this: One way of thinking of PTSD is that this is not just injury. It is a disorder. That doesn't mean you are ruined. It means you have a chronic health problem.

But wait! Good news is it can be managed. It takes a good deal of work to heal to the point of management. But that can happen. And when it reaches that stage of management, it's not all that different from something like diabetes. There will be certain things you will always need to be a bit mindful of such as symptoms (i.e. social and behavioral patterns, self sabotage, how your body processes stress, triggers that still trigger milder responses, memory issues may persist) and lifestyle (some folks advise abstaining from drink and drugs, getting enough sleep, minding what sort of job you take if you return to work, etc). But YOU CAN regain a life worth living, a life full rich and lush.

So just like diabetes, you may never "get over" your PTSD, you may never be cured. But you can work your way to a place where whatever of your disorder is left can be managed and you can develop wise healthy habits that can help keep your PTSD in that manageable state. (That last part I'm still working on myself, but things for me after months of getting worse are finally getting much better.)

Hang in there! You can get better!

~Blues