How To Explain Therapy?

[trapped]

I'm running into a problem with scheduling therapy appointments: I am going to need to request to not start until around noon one day a week, or ask to take a long lunch... I can stay late and make up the hours, that is no big deal, but how the heck do I bring it up to my employeer? My T only has limited availability, so it's not possible for me to see her in the evenings. And I don't want to change T's either. But what do I tell my boss, especially since I'm just starting and hate that I already have to ask for time off for some medical tests my cardiologist wants to do.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I would be as honest as I could without divulging to much of the reasons for going into therapy(unless you feel comfortable enough doing so) Explain, that you would be willing to work extra hours or whatever......Honesty is the best policy!!!!!

 

[trapped]

Will I get fired for the fact I'm in therapy if I tell them that though? How much info do I HAVE to give- like, if I just say "I have some things I'm working through with a therapist, and working with her is important as I think my weekly sessions help make me a more productive employee- unfortunately, she only has limited slots available and I would have to adjust my schedule one day a week, but am willing to make up those hours, and wanted to talk to you about the best possible arrangement." would that work out okay and be enough info?

 

[Grainne]

They can't fire you for being in therapy, as that would be discriminatory and would, I think, qualify for wrongful dismissal. The only thing that they might be able to do is deny your time requests....as far as I know anyway. (I think the labour laws are basically the same between the US and Canada in that regard).

Does your workplace have an occupational health department? Where I work, if we need treatment or time off for a medical cause it's all arranged through our occ health department. It's confidential (usually), so you don't have to disclose too much. If your therapist will provide you with a note stating her (rather inflexible) hours, it might be helpful.

I do understand your hesitation about telling your employer, however. My employer does not know that I have CPTSD or that I am in therapy for it and, as far as I am concerned they don't need to know. If you feel ok telling yours, I would go with what you said above, that you are in therapy for personal reasons and leave it at that. I wouldn't go on about how it's going to help you become a more productive employee because that might make your manager think there is something 'wrong' with your productivity NOW. You don't want them thinking that the therapy is work related or things could become rather messy.

All in all, it's a judgement call. If your company/boss is understanding of the work/life balance then you're probably best to be honest. If not, follow your gut.

 

[kers]

If it were me, I'd not use the word therapy at all. Plus, you've had recent health issues, so this fits in. I'd say, "I have a long-standing weekly appointment to take care of a health issue, and despite my best efforts, it cannot be scheduled after working hours. I'd like us find a way to work my schedule around it."

 

[gdf]

I think this could easily fall under FMLA but then you face paperwork that could easily make you divulge the reasons for using it. Changing work hours for therapy could be a reasonable accomodation under ADA if your employer fits the criteria of it not being a hardship (sounds like it's not) and more than 15 employees. I know I yak a lot about the Job Accomodation Network on the forum but they really are a good resource for this kind of question.

I also look at it this way in my life; if I don't do the therapy it may ultimately cost my job performance and maybe even my job. Rearranging your hours is a good strategy because you may need some decompression time after a hard session so, maybe go to therapy then go to lunch a little early and take some time to unwind before returning to work world for the rest of the day.

I am with Grainne, trust your gut...if you think the boss can't handle it it may be good to adopt kers viewpoint and just say I have a standing appointment which could be physical therapy, getting a weekly BP reading at the doc's office, getting braces adjusted, ad infinitum.

Good luck as you navigate the obstacle course.

Gina

 

[trapped]

Thanks for all the helpful replies! Since I need to ask for them to be a bit flexible with my work schedule for a couple tests where I'd be kept overnight in the hospital and wouldn't be out til 2pm the following day ( and the docs are doing this twice, a couple days apart) then I think I will mention that and the longstanding weekly appointment to take care of a health issue at the same time. My boss can draw his own conclusions about what that means.

I think tomorrow I will call my lab manager, who does most the scheduling, to talk to him to get everything set. Once I have my schedule more set, it will be easier.

 

[catjudo]

gdf--if this is a new job, FMLA will not help. There are requirements about a minimum size of company and about of time and/or hours worked with an employer before they are required to comply with FMLA.

I agree with Kers, I think the best policy to to ask them for some flexibility for a long-standing, recurring medical appointment. This is honest enough, let them draw their own conclusions. There is no reason you need disclose that it is for therapy.

 

[trapped]

Thanks cat...

I have another perhaps stupid question- on the forms I need to fill out by Friday, it asks if I have any medical or psychiatric issue that may affect my attendance... can I answer no, and just talk to my direct supervisor to work out the scheduling for one day a week that I have the "medical" appointment?

I called my supervisor today to talk to him, but he was busy and said we'd talk about next week on Monday. Ugh- I hate last minute scheduling! I don't even know what time I'll be off by on Monday, so I don't know if I can keep my appointment with my nutritionist. I did email her to ask if she had anything later in the day. Next week and the following I have a lot of appointments for medical tests, and I'm not sure what to do about all of them... do I keep them, and just tell my employer that I have these tests and they have to be done, and I could only get them during working hours? The thing is, I'm salaried too, which I think means regardless of the hours I put in, I get paid the same... but I don't want them to feel like I'm ripping them off and getting more than I'm worth because I'm not putting in a full day every day if I have to go to these appointments. Should I try to cancel or reschedule the appointments? Or just say I have to go?

I was thinking of emailing my supervisor something along the lines of this:

I wanted to inform you that I just found out from my cardiologist and medical doctor that they need me to go in for some tests during the first two weeks of February. I was told that it was very important to get these tests done now, and the tests were scheduled for me on:
[list dates and times]. I realize this interferes with standard working hours, and was wanting to discuss how we could work around these tests with my work schedule.

Also, I do also have a long-standing appointment each week to take care of a health issue. This appointment is at (time and day). I do not want this to interfere with my work, however, so wanted to discuss either taking an extended lunch on this day, and coming in or leaving an hour late, or not starting work until the afternoon and just working late to work a full 8 hour work day, if it would be best to have my time in the lab uninterupted. Please let me know your thoughts on this.

So, what do you guys think? Is that sufficient? The hard part is the medical tests I need to have done. The one on Tuesday next week shouldn't be a big deal, since it's early enough in the day that I can be to work by 10:30am still, so I'll just stay a bit late or whatever. The following week, I have to spend two nights in the hospital though... and won't get out til 2pm the following day, both those days being work days (I go in after work hours, get out at 2pm, the next day, go in after work hours,and get out at 2pm the day after that... so two days I wouldn't be able to start til 2pm, and one I would rather not work since I have group therapy at 7pm... it's late enough it normally doesn't affect my schedule- I think I may offer to just work the next two weekends though, that would make up the time).

 

[kers]

I think it's a good e-mail. Professional, gives your supervisor a couple of options, and a huge plus for you is that it documents this conversation (be sure to print a copy for your records).

 

[trapped]

Thanks kers! I am going to make a few minor changes tonight, sleep on it, read it tomorrow after I get some rest and have a fresh mind, and send it tomorrow or Thursday. I always like to wait and go back and read something with a fresh perspective before sending it off. The changes I'm making aren't much... mainly, my nutritionist sent me a list of all her available days and times she has open slots. I was going to ask my work which they preferred. I'm going with Monday at 5:30pm. Because of the location and traffic, I will need to leave by 4:30pm each week on Monday, but that shouldn't be a problem- I can go in by 7 and be off by 4, or go in at 8 and take a half hour lunch... there are a lot of options. I'll just include it as my long-standing appointment, and mention that I need to go twice a week for it, and say I was thinking Monday shouldn't be too hard to work out, because of the options I just mentioned. For this Monday, they were not going to tell me if I had to stay after orientation, until after orientation! I think I will say too bad, I can stay up until 430pm but need to be gone by that time for an appointment. I felt guilty for deciding to do that initially, but my support group tonight put things in perspective for me- if I don't see the nutritionist each week and go to therapy each week, the symptoms from my disorders gain control over me. When that happens, I'm not able to work. So, better for work to have to make adjustments for me and my availability, than to have the eating disorder cause me to starve myself again and pass out at work, right? And I know it's possible for it to get that bad, because it did in the past (just, when I was in California, where the medical care was crap. Here, they'd call me out on the eating disorder, and probably put me straight into an IP treatment program).