- Post starter
- #37
ILoveLife
VIP Member
Update on this...
Went to T on Saturday and we talked a bit about this subject.
The trick is to go to where I'm comfortable. If I'm not comfortable exploding on people, control and containment is necessary. If I'm comfortable expressing my emotions, then so be it, because my anger is justified and needs to be expressed. Just not to get pissy at stupid things, and try to understand why things bother me before getting snippy.
I wrote a letter to my mother with no intention of sending it, a while back when I started this thread. It really helped to put in perspective what I am in fact angry about, and in summary it is about the responsibility of all that happened to me falling on me per my bad choices - which were reactions to trauma.
Now, this present time, things are completely different and my parts haven't caught up yet with present reality. So in light of that, I have to take some responsibility towards my choices, while understanding I'm not to blame for their consequences since they were reactions to trauma and not sane-of-mind choices.
That helps me understand what I am in fact responsible for, and what is the responsibility of someone else. As I'm not responsible for being abused, I am responsible by my adult choice of not protecting myself. The goal is not self blame, but by owning my past I can own my future.
T said something I'm almost afraid to admit it's true... she said it's fairly obvious that the way to assert emotions is by setting clear boundaries, with myself and others. The goal of this is to be comfortable enough to say: Ok, all this shit happened to me. I'm a good, valid person that deserves affection and respect.
This is a majoooooooooooor turn around from previous stuck-on-this situation, it's the stepping stone to being okay with myself enough to move forward in my life. I'm not sure anyone's really following but when I joined here I could barely maintain friendships let alone even think about a romantic relationship, and that's changing.
Expressing anger correctly, which is one of the toughest emotions to express in a respectful way to all parties involved, helps being able to express all other contained emotions - like self appreciation! YIKES - which can lead to accepting respect and to be loved without the fear of repetition of trauma, because we just simply do not allow the past to repeat itself.
And if this started as internal rage, right now it's just manifesting as irritability, and T assured me it will disappear (but probably come back when triggered, I'll just have better coping skills).
Only took 3 months to get here :P
Went to T on Saturday and we talked a bit about this subject.
The trick is to go to where I'm comfortable. If I'm not comfortable exploding on people, control and containment is necessary. If I'm comfortable expressing my emotions, then so be it, because my anger is justified and needs to be expressed. Just not to get pissy at stupid things, and try to understand why things bother me before getting snippy.
I wrote a letter to my mother with no intention of sending it, a while back when I started this thread. It really helped to put in perspective what I am in fact angry about, and in summary it is about the responsibility of all that happened to me falling on me per my bad choices - which were reactions to trauma.
Now, this present time, things are completely different and my parts haven't caught up yet with present reality. So in light of that, I have to take some responsibility towards my choices, while understanding I'm not to blame for their consequences since they were reactions to trauma and not sane-of-mind choices.
That helps me understand what I am in fact responsible for, and what is the responsibility of someone else. As I'm not responsible for being abused, I am responsible by my adult choice of not protecting myself. The goal is not self blame, but by owning my past I can own my future.
T said something I'm almost afraid to admit it's true... she said it's fairly obvious that the way to assert emotions is by setting clear boundaries, with myself and others. The goal of this is to be comfortable enough to say: Ok, all this shit happened to me. I'm a good, valid person that deserves affection and respect.
This is a majoooooooooooor turn around from previous stuck-on-this situation, it's the stepping stone to being okay with myself enough to move forward in my life. I'm not sure anyone's really following but when I joined here I could barely maintain friendships let alone even think about a romantic relationship, and that's changing.
Expressing anger correctly, which is one of the toughest emotions to express in a respectful way to all parties involved, helps being able to express all other contained emotions - like self appreciation! YIKES - which can lead to accepting respect and to be loved without the fear of repetition of trauma, because we just simply do not allow the past to repeat itself.
And if this started as internal rage, right now it's just manifesting as irritability, and T assured me it will disappear (but probably come back when triggered, I'll just have better coping skills).
Only took 3 months to get here :P
