How to feel safe when your fears are irrational or inescapable

[Entheo]

I see that the most important first step in healing is feeling safe. Someone who has fears from physical abuse can feel safe being physically protected and able to defend themselves. What if the fears are irrational, like about paranormal things that you can't protect yourself against. How can you feel safe in that kinda situation?

 

[joeylittle]

I see that the most important first step in healing is feeling safe.

I think what doesn't get talked about enough is, this idea of feeling safe has to do with purposefully creating an inner zone, where you can remain somewhat separated from the intensity of a traumatic memory.

In other words, feeling safe isn't necessarily a literal result of no longer being in danger. That can be helpful to acknowledge, but it's not quite the same as the idea of stabilization - which is (essentially) creating an image within your mind that is 'protected' from the panic and fear that will arise when confronting trauma.

What if the fears are irrational, like about paranormal things that you can't protect yourself against. How can you feel safe in that kinda situation?

By proactively putting your focus onto/into the headspace of "safe". It takes practice, and it's something that can be done deliberately.

 

[Invisible Fire]

For me it is self care and grounding. My brain loves to pull the fire alarm and send false alarms. Sometimes I will do deep breathing and think “I am safe”. I think you are doing well if you are aware that you are having cognitive distortions.

 

[MrMoonlight]

Can you break it down logically...maybe using "bridge statements"? Is this more likely paranormal or could there be a different explanation.

 

[DianeTrippin]

In such situations, I think that this is only a page in the book, in which there will certainly be a happy ending. Then it becomes easier to read this book. When you think that all danger as if not with you, it's just a face, and then everything will be fine.

 

[Survivor3]

I see that the most important first step in healing is feeling safe. Someone who has fears from physical abuse can feel safe being physically protected and able to defend themselves. What if the fears are irrational, like about paranormal things that you can't protect yourself against. How can you feel safe in that kinda situation?

Hi @Entheo , trauma creates stress and that can spread into our daily thinking. But that line of thinking is a cognitive distortion and also paranoia. My advice is to question what your thinking and ask yourself is that really realistic or is it just my(your) mind playing tricks on you. Best wishes to you S3 ?

Stay safe by doing tasks that are known to you. Whatever that hobby or interest might be. Keep it close to you. When I'm in fear I say a mantra to myself. 'I am safe now, they cannot hurt me here or anymore'.