Relationship How to help spouse with dissociation?

[Dejan ivanovic]

Hello

My 1st time posting ,after a big row with my wife of 9 years,I decided to leave home for a couple of nights out of anger waiting for an apology,unfortunately the row and me leaving has built up trauma and she told me to leave and she wants space be alone and think,she suffers with cptsd and she now seems to be in a state of dissociation.

This is the 1st time shes been in this state for nearly 5 years ,I just wondered what the best thing to do is? Do I just give her the space she needs ? Any advice appreciated

 

[Sweetpea76]

Usually if my sufferer asks for space, I give him space... no questions asked. At least for awhile. She cannot expect you to clear out of your home for good just because she needs space.

 

[Friday]

and she told me to leave and she wants space be alone

When you wanted space to be alone and think, you left.

Seems like if she wants some space to be alone & think, she can leave, too.

In my life... the person with the problem is the one responsible for fixing it, they don’t just get to order other people around to suit themselves. IE she has the problem, she can leave. But that’s me, and how I operate.

 

[Dejan ivanovic]

Last time it lasted around 2 months but I beleive I prolonged it by putting pressure on her to come back by chasing after her etc it' s been 9 days so far this time with no sign things will change,she's definitely got her guard up and is in self protection mode from me,it' driving me crazy because I just want to help her and get my family back .

 

[Dejan ivanovic]

In reply to Friday, the trouble is we have 2 young children and I work full time and she works part time,we have to operate around what works best for the children,we dont want to interupt there routine .

 

[Mytime]

How are you giving her space right now? Are you still in the home?

 

[EveHarrington]

How bad is the dissociation? Are the children in danger?

 

[Dejan ivanovic]

No I'm living at my mother's which is on the same street ,we still have to rely on each other to look after the children,she seems to be going further away from me emotionally than closer.

I'M trying to give her space but because I'm struggling because of my emotions.

 

[Dejan ivanovic]

No the children are not in danger ,she's coping well ,maybe it' not dissociation,the dissociation is mainly aimed at me but she's also very shaken and has gone emotionless to alot of situations,maybe I'm overthinking this and it could be she knows I'm in her hands so she's not fearful of loosing everything.

 

[Mytime]

I can understand your struggle. Can I ask how the kids are with you out of the house?

 

[EveHarrington]

AFAIK dissociation cannot be aimed.

Isolation and numbing can be situational, but I don’t think dissociation can be.

 

[Dejan ivanovic]

The kids are fine ,no changes in them .

I think Eve Harrington hot the nail on the head,this may be situational rather than dissociation.