How To Please A Psychologist??

[Tanishq]

"I'm the Almighty Intelligent One".

Very dangerous ones. I have seen such people. They even guarantee you that if you follow them, you will be healed. COMPLETELY. can you believe this? Frightens me. Some cases yes, they can be helpful or may not be. But be very careful with such people.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I see things from both sides.

Maybe he is trying to set up good boundaries, but also, you need someone who is there for more than 45 minutes a week. Put it all together, and you get a bad fit!

There's nothing wrong with that. I don't think that ANYONE should go into trauma therapy if they aren't willing to take a call in between sessions. It's pretty much saying "I'm yours for only 45 minutes a week, if anything else arises, you have to figure it out on your own because I'm not helping" Now is this really helping someone who is working through trauma? I have my doubts.

I can see him not wanting to answer 45 emails (or even read 45 emails), but there needs to be a happy medium. IMHO he is being VERY heavy handed by saying "no contact between sessions" I think you should look elsewhere for a therapist who is at least willing to pick up the phone if you're having trouble between sessions.

 

[Philippa]

I think it must be a hard situation for a therapist.

You can't really let one person contact you too much outside regular sessions, or else you start to feel like you 'should' allow everyone you see in that capacity, and then you find your life over run with other peoples problems, and have no life of your own.

 

[Lucycat]

There has been a lot of good advice already given on this thread. I too think that trying to please your psychologist is simply a distraction from the real issues that should be dealt with in therapy.

However if it is a distraction it needs dealing with and sorting. A frank discussion with T is a starting point. It sounds as if he has already given you the answers and wants you to listen to what he is saying rather than going round and round on this same subject i.e. whether or not he cares.

You need to trust him, and if you don't, then he is the wrong T. You don't want to change, therefore you need to work on developing that trust. He cannot do it for you. I can understand why he might have been offended by you sending him the article. HE needs to do his job, and it is not helpful for you to tell him what his job should be. By all means tell him what you need, and where you want to be in recovery, but allow the professional to decide on the appropriate tools to get you there. I may sound harsh - but surely he is the expert which is why you chose him in the first place. If it is not working then why waste his - and your - time?

 

[Tanishq]

You need to trust him, and if you don't, then he is the wrong T.

So much insightful post Lucycat.

I am learning, to stand up from any traumatic event, one has to learn regaining ground for self trust. First trust on yourself, then others. I can understand why did you wrote it may sound harsh. This harsh truth can be much sweeter in future and reassuring.

 

[Cusumbo Solo]

Hi. I wanted to post an update. I have had two good sessions since this crisis.

They have been good. I raised my concerns.

The jury is out for long term but I will give the relationship my best for a little longer and see how it goes.

 

[Cusumbo Solo]

Hi, again I wanted to thank you all for your advise and thoughts.
I actually think in hindsight that my therapist did me a huge favour.
We have spoken about it frankly. But have also moved on. It was a distraction.
A few sessions on now. I trust him implicitly.

 

[Abstract]

Well done to you! And your T. It just shows that we can't mindread and that discussing things is always the best things. Because T's can't mindread either. And a lot of other stuff can convince us we need to distrust because of the past when it just isnt true. Good news. :)