Chitoshi
Gold Member
Well I've just had the greatest time with symptoms and relationships this past week and a half. I've got another one for you guys.
I agreed to dogsit my future mother in law's dog. No big deal, I do it all the time. My fiance's brother wanted to split the responsibility so he took Saturday and Saturday night and told me to come Sunday.
So I come on Sunday when he tells me to, so he can leave. When I get there he asked me to babysit his son since he has to work the next day and couldn't drive him to and from camp. Also fine, I do it all the time, but not what I originally planned on doing.
So instead of leaving he changes plans and invites his friend over to the house instead who stays until 10pm. Now I'm a little uncomfortable because his friends make me feel unsafe, so my fiance came over until they left.
After the friends leave my fiance leaves a bit later, and his brother finds out his son has hives and his son didn't come get us. Previously in the night, I was told I was off the hook babysitting until he left, but I still feel guilty.
So anyways, it is decided that Son isn't going to camp on Monday and my fiance's brother is going to stay the night. So I said, great, I'll go home and come back in the morning for babysitting.
But he says no I have to stay because I still have to take care of the dog? But him and his son and the dog were just fine the day before by themselves? And the son was sleeping on my bed, so I had no privacy.
The dog has a sensitive stomach and needs to be fed 4x a day. One of those feedings is a late night feeding. My fiance's brother decides the dog can have his food a little early and instead of him letting it be my responsibility, he just feeds him.
So I'm a bit irritated at this point that it was pointless for me to spend the night last night, and that I had to explain to my fiance's brother that no, I wasn't going to be around all day Monday for childcare because I had an appointment. He had assumed I would be.
I had to wash all the dishes he dirtied over two days just to get a pan for breakfast for his kid I was taking care of this morning.
I had to drag my fiance out of bed because his brother wouldn't help me with the garbage and recycling when I asked for lifting help (I have a shoulder condition and can't lift the heavy items).
Last straw today was that last week it was his responsibility to make reservations for their mother's surprise family birthday dinner tomorrow, and their dad came to find out that neither my fiance's brother nor his fiancee had made the reservations that they had said they were going to.
So my fiance's dad texted me for help saying that if I couldn't do it he'd have to sneak away from her on their romantic trip they took which was why I was taking care of the dog in the first place.
I get I could have stood my ground, but I'm not sure how? I guess I can't see it. I'm too afraid to stand my ground sometimes, and my fiance's brother is scary to me because he gets loud and mean when things don't go his way. I don't think he'd physically hurt anyone but when I've spoken up on something he has gotten angry with me and come after me verbally before.
That was when I was living in the house and I said I didn't feel comfortable with him coming into my room without knocking and he still had all of his clothes in the room that he had to walk through to get to mine (my fiance and I shared my fiance's room, but his brother was moved to a bigger room and he refused to move his stuff out of his old room and instead used it as a closet until we moved out 4 months later).
He got in my face and told me I wasn't family, that I had no right to assert myself in his house, and that everyone saw me as a burden. My fiance got involved and he got outvoted and in trouble for it, but we're adults and I was still terrified.
So yeah, I guess there's the background. Looking back on it he just kept squeezing in little favors and I didn't realize it had gotten out of hand so I guess I don't understand why I'm so mad that I feel taken advantage of by him at the same time I am fearful right now even though he isn't in the house.
I'm by myself and my fiance said he'll come over, longer commute from our apartment be dammed, but I don't understand why I struggle with this kind of thing. I don't see my T until July 1.
Oh, and the A/C unit for the house quit at like 4pm today, too, so it's hot. Perfect storm?
*I should have mentioned that to get to the brother's room he had to walk through my fiance's room, it is an oddly shaped house.
I agreed to dogsit my future mother in law's dog. No big deal, I do it all the time. My fiance's brother wanted to split the responsibility so he took Saturday and Saturday night and told me to come Sunday.
So I come on Sunday when he tells me to, so he can leave. When I get there he asked me to babysit his son since he has to work the next day and couldn't drive him to and from camp. Also fine, I do it all the time, but not what I originally planned on doing.
So instead of leaving he changes plans and invites his friend over to the house instead who stays until 10pm. Now I'm a little uncomfortable because his friends make me feel unsafe, so my fiance came over until they left.
After the friends leave my fiance leaves a bit later, and his brother finds out his son has hives and his son didn't come get us. Previously in the night, I was told I was off the hook babysitting until he left, but I still feel guilty.
So anyways, it is decided that Son isn't going to camp on Monday and my fiance's brother is going to stay the night. So I said, great, I'll go home and come back in the morning for babysitting.
But he says no I have to stay because I still have to take care of the dog? But him and his son and the dog were just fine the day before by themselves? And the son was sleeping on my bed, so I had no privacy.
The dog has a sensitive stomach and needs to be fed 4x a day. One of those feedings is a late night feeding. My fiance's brother decides the dog can have his food a little early and instead of him letting it be my responsibility, he just feeds him.
So I'm a bit irritated at this point that it was pointless for me to spend the night last night, and that I had to explain to my fiance's brother that no, I wasn't going to be around all day Monday for childcare because I had an appointment. He had assumed I would be.
I had to wash all the dishes he dirtied over two days just to get a pan for breakfast for his kid I was taking care of this morning.
I had to drag my fiance out of bed because his brother wouldn't help me with the garbage and recycling when I asked for lifting help (I have a shoulder condition and can't lift the heavy items).
Last straw today was that last week it was his responsibility to make reservations for their mother's surprise family birthday dinner tomorrow, and their dad came to find out that neither my fiance's brother nor his fiancee had made the reservations that they had said they were going to.
So my fiance's dad texted me for help saying that if I couldn't do it he'd have to sneak away from her on their romantic trip they took which was why I was taking care of the dog in the first place.
I get I could have stood my ground, but I'm not sure how? I guess I can't see it. I'm too afraid to stand my ground sometimes, and my fiance's brother is scary to me because he gets loud and mean when things don't go his way. I don't think he'd physically hurt anyone but when I've spoken up on something he has gotten angry with me and come after me verbally before.
That was when I was living in the house and I said I didn't feel comfortable with him coming into my room without knocking and he still had all of his clothes in the room that he had to walk through to get to mine (my fiance and I shared my fiance's room, but his brother was moved to a bigger room and he refused to move his stuff out of his old room and instead used it as a closet until we moved out 4 months later).
He got in my face and told me I wasn't family, that I had no right to assert myself in his house, and that everyone saw me as a burden. My fiance got involved and he got outvoted and in trouble for it, but we're adults and I was still terrified.
So yeah, I guess there's the background. Looking back on it he just kept squeezing in little favors and I didn't realize it had gotten out of hand so I guess I don't understand why I'm so mad that I feel taken advantage of by him at the same time I am fearful right now even though he isn't in the house.
I'm by myself and my fiance said he'll come over, longer commute from our apartment be dammed, but I don't understand why I struggle with this kind of thing. I don't see my T until July 1.
Oh, and the A/C unit for the house quit at like 4pm today, too, so it's hot. Perfect storm?
*I should have mentioned that to get to the brother's room he had to walk through my fiance's room, it is an oddly shaped house.
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